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5 Really Bad Reasons To Leave Your Church

Chad

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There are good reasons to change churches, but there are a lot more bad reasons.

Let’s be honest, while there are some good reasons for leaving a church, there are a lot more bad ones. As a pastor, I hear some of them every now and then as people walk out the door. As a church planter, I hear them constantly as people walk in the door.

If you’re thinking about looking for a new church home, please don’t use one of these five reasons to make the jump:

1. “I’m not being fed”


Do pastors have a responsibility to steward the scriptures and care for their church spiritually? You bet they do. And it can be all too easy to overlook this while trying to manage staff, build systems, meet needs, put out fires and develop leaders, all while overseeing the overall vision and direction of the church. But let’s be honest, if you own a smartphone, a personal computer or a library card, you have access to some of the best preaching and teaching in the world. You can even find teaching archives of some of the greatest preachers of all time. Christian, you have access to more “meat” than any other generation before you!

Your primary call in the church is to contribute, not just to consume.

To leave a church because you’re not getting "enough" is a cop out. Your primary call in the church is to contribute, not just to consume. As a Christian, you shouldn’t require spoon-feeding for the rest of your life. Eventually you need to learn how to feed yourself so that, in time, you can actually feed others. Remember, your call is not just to be a disciple but to make disciples.

2. “It’s getting too big”

I can appreciate the sense of loss that accompanies growth. When we first began, our church was little more than a small band of brothers and sisters meeting together in a living room. It feels very different now that we are a church of a few hundred people spread across multiple services. There are moments when I miss the intimacy and simplicity of those early days. But remaining small is a sad and unbiblical goal.

When churches are faithful to the Great Commission, lives will be changed and people will be added to their number. It may not happen rapidly, but growth is sometimes inevitable for faithful churches, given a long enough timeline. If you have a problem with big churches, you really wouldn’t have liked the first church, and you definitely won’t like heaven.

3. “I don’t agree with everything that is being preached”

You know what? Neither do I and I’m the pastor. As such I fully reserve the right to disagree with myself. And every now and then I do exactly that. Why? Because I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m asking questions. And my hope is that those I pastor are doing likewise.
If you insist that your pastor agree with you on every little thing under the sun, you are going to either hop from church to church for the rest of your life in perpetual disappointment or you will eventually give up and drop out altogether. Chances are you are not going to agree with everything that is preached anywhere. As long as your pastor isn’t preaching outright heresy, you can afford to disagree on secondary issues.The truth is when you choose to stay despite disagreeing on some things, you, your pastor and your church are better for it.

4. “My Needs Aren’t Being Met”

When someone lists this as a reason for leaving it is a dead giveaway that somewhere along the way they came to believe that the Church actually exists to serve their needs. They’ve bought into the lie that, when it comes to church, it’s really about “me.” Here’s the problem: the Church actually isn’t about you. It’s about Jesus. It’s his Church. He came for it. He died for it. He redeemed it. He continues to build it. And one day, he’ll come back for it. It’s his.

The Church doesn’t exist to meet your needs. You are a part of the Church that exists to meet the needs of the world.

This is the same Jesus who came to seek and to save the lost and then commissioned his Church to go and do the same. The Church doesn’t exist to meet your needs. You are a part of the Church that exists to meet the needs of the world. Put away the shopping cart and pick up a shovel.

5. Unresolved Conflict


Wherever you find the community of sinning saints you will find conflict. Lots of it. The Church is one big family full of characters and misfits. Sometimes sisters argue. Sometimes brothers fight. Sometimes you want to bury your weird uncle in the backyard. But despite it all, family is supposed to be the place where you stick together. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Paul addressed a lot of church conflict in his letters. No where do I hear him encouraging believers to bail on one another or move on down the road to a different church where it’ll be easier. Instead, much of his letters are his encouraging and coaching these ragamuffin communities in how to do this very hard and messy thing together.

When we leave at first sign of real conflict, it shortchanges God’s best work in our midst. It sidesteps the process of repentance, forgiveness and grace. It negates the power of the Gospel to bring reconciliation where reconciliation might seem impossible. We and those around us miss out on all of it when we just leave.

I do know that not all conflict is resolvable. I know that reconciliation is impossible where there is no repentance. I get that. But remember, repentance starts with us. And so does the extending of grace. And when we resolve to stick around and keep on repenting and extending grace, I think God can do far more than we often give Him credit for. Some of God’s best work happens in the mess.

5 Really Bad Reasons To Leave Your Church | RELEVANT Magazine
 
Church exists because we need each other and God "needs" the church. Church is a place to meet our needs, others needs, and God's "needs". We are the church and without us and our needs the church wouldn't exist.
 
Church exists because we need each other and God "needs" the church. Church is a place to meet our needs, others needs, and God's "needs". We are the church and without us and our needs the church wouldn't exist.

God doesn't need anyone of us. Perhaps "wants" or "desires" would be a better word.
 
God doesn't need anyone of us. Perhaps "wants" or "desires" would be a better word.

Some say God needs us, some say God doesn't. That's an interesting topic of discussion itself :). Need in this sense: if God wants to use a human being to perform a task, then He needs a human being. He can't use a human being, if He does not have one.
God wants to use the church to accomplish a certain task, therefore He needs the church.
 
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Some say God needs us, some say God doesn't. That's an interesting topic of discussion itself :). Need in this sense: if God wants to use a human being to perform a task, then He needs a human being. He can't use a human being, if He does not have one.
God wants to use the church to accomplish a certain task, therefore He needs the church.

very true, but He can just as easily get another human being to use if one isnt "available." Being available is a big part of being used. I want to tell you of something that I experienced once and people will either believe it or not, which either way personally I dont really gain anything. And I do understand someone on the internet saying "God told me" can be irrelevant but this is true what I am about to say. If I make it up then I am bearing false witness on God, and thats not something I really care to do. I was upset on how my life was going and I was laying in bed unable to sleep due to being stressed out. So I started to pray and I was kinda shaking my fist at God and I also wasnt looking at life in the right aspect. My prayer was centered around why God why? and just tell me what the plan is if you have one, you are not using me in any ministry anymore I got no job did you just forget about me or what? Finally I fell asleep but was woken up by God early early probably around 3am or so and he spoke to me "I dont need you" and He gave me tremendous peace and I was no longer frustrated about what at that time I viewed as a shortcoming in life. After that He kept telling me it's ok, it's ok, it's ok over and over until I went back to sleep.(talk about comforter huh) Truth is I was focused on the wrong thing, which was me, me, me. And because of that I was unavailable. God was not able to use me, but that didnt stop Him from doing what he does worldwide. Once I started focusing on Jesus, and love and mercy, and others, and not so much myself, and to act and pray accordingly God started to use me again, little by little. In luke 3:8 it says God is able from these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. We are tho highly important each one of us because God only made one of each of us. I agree with you to a point on God needing us, however I think the way both of us are looking at the word "need" is a different aspect, or a different view. You are right He wants to use a human so He needs a human But we have a very miniscule part to play in that as well.
edit: He can just as easily get some one else. Matt 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
 
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very true, but He can just as easily get another human being to use if one isnt "available." Being available is a big part of being used. I want to tell you of something that I experienced once and people will either believe it or not, which either way personally I dont really gain anything. And I do understand someone on the internet saying "God told me" can be irrelevant but this is true what I am about to say. If I make it up then I am bearing false witness on God, and thats not something I really care to do. I was upset on how my life was going and I was laying in bed unable to sleep due to being stressed out. So I started to pray and I was kinda shaking my fist at God and I also wasnt looking at life in the right aspect. My prayer was centered around why God why? and just tell me what the plan is if you have one, you are not using me in any ministry anymore I got no job did you just forget about me or what? Finally I fell asleep but was woken up by God early early probably around 3am or so and he spoke to me "I dont need you" and He gave me tremendous peace and I was no longer frustrated about what at that time I viewed as a shortcoming in life. After that He kept telling me it's ok, it's ok, it's ok over and over until I went back to sleep.(talk about comforter huh) Truth is I was focused on the wrong thing, which was me, me, me. And because of that I was unavailable. God was not able to use me, but that didnt stop Him from doing what he does worldwide. Once I started focusing on Jesus, and love and mercy, and others, and not so much myself, and to act and pray accordingly God started to use me again, little by little. In luke 3:8 it says God is able from these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. We are tho highly important each one of us because God only made one of each of us. I agree with you to a point on God needing us, however I think the way both of us are looking at the word "need" is a different aspect, or a different view. You are right He wants to use a human so He needs a human But we have a very miniscule part to play in that as well.
edit: He can just as easily get some one else. Matt 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

Thankyou for sharing your experience of the cross and resurrection. You are right, as individuals, human beings have very minor parts to play. As a collective group of people, the Bible reveals that we have a major part to play in God's plan. Human beings are important to God. God has created the whole universe to support man's existence. If the planets moved in their orbits by just a tiny amount, life on Earth would not exist. Everything is perfectly balanced and planned with exquisite and intricate detail to support mankinds existence.

The scientists, atheists and the world, say that humans are just another animal, that we are on the same level, or even less than animals. Sometimes I read on the news about a man saving his dog before his wife in a disaster situation, in some countries they treat animals better than their own people. The Bible never really says that God loves angels, or animals, but He loves man, because He created man in His image. Because we are created in His image, we are very important to Him, and He has created mankind with a specific purpose, to be His representative on Earth, and to be coheirs with Christ, to defeat His enemies, and one day rule the Earth. This is why church is important, because only with each other can we accomplish what God desires.
 
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