AudreyNicole
Member
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2010
- Messages
- 313
Hello all,
[So I didn't really know where to post this.... I've already posted it in the "Parents" section..... any advice is appreciated!]
My parents have an ugly relationship, and as the oldest I've always taken on the role as mediator and referee in their relationship. I know that's probably not my place as a child but its much easier trying to keep things calm than dealing with their arguments. I'm 21 years old now and planning on moving out within the next year God willing, however I feel incredibly guilty about leaving my parents alone and thus. Its becoming almost a paralyzing guilt because I just don't know if their relationship can survive without me.
Anyway, I am just wanting to know what is my biblical role as a child in my parents marriage? Is this something I should be concerning myself with, or is this not my place?
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Some Background:
I definitely know taking on this role is unhealthy, and it has manifested itself in some difficult ways. I've always felt as though it was my job to protect my little sister from my parents fighting; now that she is older she knows more and is aware of all that goes on and it kills me. My parents always go through my sister or me when conversing with each other as opposed to just talking to each other... (its the whole, "go ask your dad this" and "go tell your mom that" thing). My dad never talks to my mom about important issues (i.e. what car to buy, what mortgage to go with, when and where to go on vacation, insurance and cell phone plans, etc.) instead he asks me about these things; as a result my mom always feels left out. And conversely my mother always asks me for marriage advice and help, which I am not really qualified to give. They know exactly how to push each others buttons and as a result my sister and I are constantly trying to diffuse tense situations. All of this just makes it kind of difficult not to worry about them.
They've never had a good relationship, at least not that I ever remember. I've never seen them really act lovingly toward one another, and I feel as though its gotten to the place where they just don't care anymore. I've always hoped for a divorce because everything would just be so much easier. I know how bad that is but I'm not sure what else to do... its hard to help someone when they don't want to be helped.
[So I didn't really know where to post this.... I've already posted it in the "Parents" section..... any advice is appreciated!]
My parents have an ugly relationship, and as the oldest I've always taken on the role as mediator and referee in their relationship. I know that's probably not my place as a child but its much easier trying to keep things calm than dealing with their arguments. I'm 21 years old now and planning on moving out within the next year God willing, however I feel incredibly guilty about leaving my parents alone and thus. Its becoming almost a paralyzing guilt because I just don't know if their relationship can survive without me.
Anyway, I am just wanting to know what is my biblical role as a child in my parents marriage? Is this something I should be concerning myself with, or is this not my place?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some Background:
I definitely know taking on this role is unhealthy, and it has manifested itself in some difficult ways. I've always felt as though it was my job to protect my little sister from my parents fighting; now that she is older she knows more and is aware of all that goes on and it kills me. My parents always go through my sister or me when conversing with each other as opposed to just talking to each other... (its the whole, "go ask your dad this" and "go tell your mom that" thing). My dad never talks to my mom about important issues (i.e. what car to buy, what mortgage to go with, when and where to go on vacation, insurance and cell phone plans, etc.) instead he asks me about these things; as a result my mom always feels left out. And conversely my mother always asks me for marriage advice and help, which I am not really qualified to give. They know exactly how to push each others buttons and as a result my sister and I are constantly trying to diffuse tense situations. All of this just makes it kind of difficult not to worry about them.
They've never had a good relationship, at least not that I ever remember. I've never seen them really act lovingly toward one another, and I feel as though its gotten to the place where they just don't care anymore. I've always hoped for a divorce because everything would just be so much easier. I know how bad that is but I'm not sure what else to do... its hard to help someone when they don't want to be helped.
