A classic case of Romeo and Juliet

[Cote Dawg]

Hi. My name is Cody, and I am new here at Talk Jesus. Let me start off by saying that I have been doing more seeking lately than usual, and to be quite blunt, that's why I am here now, and I am here faithfully. I believe in Christ and desire to be more of a follower today than I was yesterday. However, I am afflicted with the veil of confusion.Today, my pastor gave a sermon and a great amount of it was directed at easing tension - letting go of worries and fears that prove useless to God's true desire for us (as an example, he illustrated how a person can worry over what pair of shoes to slip on in the morning or what to eat - does my butt look big.. you know). This did a lot for me as I have previously built many worries and/or fears based around similar obstacles. Now let me move this momentum into my personal life. I am engaged. God saved me and immediately directed me towards the woman I am with. We are in love and for my age, many of you would be impressed by my effort, my passion to reach out for life and unity for God's love and grace. Even my pastor acknowledged me for this recently. For many Christians, it's the family life and the love within that family unit that keeps us reaching out for God and ever transcending our old ways. However, in my life, I have a genuine yearning to be in that very experience. I never had a father. He left my family when I was 2 and I spoke to him once in my life - on my 15th birthday. Beyond this (for it is a far greater story to tell than what this thread is meant for), it has been my brother and mother and I. My grandparents were Jehova's Witnesses which half of our large family is involved in this cult, I had to experience religious freedom all on my own. My mom is spiritually augmented because of her parents corrupt religious freakshow. She has however instilled many of her good qualities into my spirit and soul, for this my love is great. Now that you know a bit of my history, I would like to share with you my Fiancé's story. Her mother is strong - foolproof and words cannot describe how much I see in this woman. I go to church with this woman (my fiancé has not been able to attend since her work schedule intervenes), and they have attended the same church basically my fiancé's entire life. I am becoming close to these people which gives me so much security and spiritual freedom. Anywho, My fiancé's father is, well, mean to say the least. He doesn't attend church, probably never has. Very small person, probably double minded, I don't know if he believes in God to be honest, and if he does he is full of regretful deeds. I know this... The second God has stepped into mine and my fiancé's lives, the second we find joy, the second the true gospel - the word of God becomes a part of our lives, this man immediately seeks to demolish this good thing with endless excuses. He becomes a counterbalance, so to say, the Devil's weight. He acts like he knows what's best because our minds have become like that of childrens', as Jesus preached we must have child like minds to enter into the secret world within us, and thinks he has the holy spirit when truly his soul has found the emptiness, the lie, the game of the ego that seeks to spread false gospel, AND HE WANTS US TO BELIEVE IT. He has tried to tell me word for word "Love is nothing. Love doesn't pay the bills. It gets nothing done." I have a deep rooted emotional history and I know the second I fight this man's words, and he tries to fight back because he is not absolutely silenced, I might just become enraged, and I have avoided this for a long time now because I might lose my temper at this man's emotional aggression. I believe enough is said. This takes me back to my original point - the veil of confusion. I am so crushed by this force that I literally stand there doing nothing when this man spouts off his false life lessons to this girl, almost every day of her life, and I am crushed beneath the weight of my fear for if I say anything at all, my raw emotions will unveil and it won't be a pretty sight for him. Maybe I should let it out? Who knows - that's what you are there for

 

[Cote Dawg]

I have to sleep now, I have work in the morning. I will be active on TJ tomorrow sometime. Sorry I shorted you all on my written commentary - I could definitely write more if needed though.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God:
I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Psalm 41:10


Praising the Lord for your Salvation, your testimony of His saving grace and your longing to grow in His grace and love

The devil, that sneaky, liar will always seek to destroy and divide.
But that doesn't have to be the case.....the Lord is on your side and He is the victorious conqueror.

You say your fiances mother is a strong woman ....I imagine you meant strong in faith and character....despite her ?husbands ways.
Her faith in the Lord has no doubt kept her from succumbing to his false ways.
Let that encourage you.

Rather than fear.....ask the Lord to take your fears
Ask the Lord to take any anger pent up anger you have
Ask Him to help you turn these feelings into heartfelt prayer for this man
And that you only react in love and peace, speaking words from the Lord that touch his heart.
The Lord can help you turn this obstacle into an opportunity to share his love

I will pray for you all

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair
2 Corinthians 4:8

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39

 

[Brad Huber]

Dont keep silent any longer.... but.... if you feel you cannot keep yourself from losing your temper then quickly speak your mind and walk away.... "before" you lose your temper. Your girlfriends father is correct in some things. Love doesnt pay the bills. From the time of the fall, we "are" to work by the sweat of our brows to bring us the life we need to nurish our bodies. But love is more important than work, for it is the greatest of all things eternal. But how much work, versus how much time nuturing our relationship with our spouse and kids and God, well lets just say that is a great problem in the christian community. Too many people put making money above doing the right thing. Many call it the prosperity gospel, and its wrong. Learning to be content with less (enough to get by on) and trusting God more so for the increase is the way of faith, the second of the three great things (faith, hope, and Love). His mind is focused on the earthly, but perhaps for his daughters sake, he worries you wont buckle down and work hard to make a living. If you can keep your temper, or perhaps the next time it comes up, let him know that you "do" plan to work hard to provide for his daughter and the Lord as it is your duty as a follower of the Lord. Then give him proof (its up to you to find that proof).

 

[Cote Dawg]

I know her father can be right a lot, but the fact that he weighs her down by stressing these things takes a toll on my opinion of him, especially when I hear it. I say nothing because he is right but I know that he is over-stressing an issue regardless. To me it's like a broken record. It should nowhere in my heart be a place of judgment towards him, but the effects of all these things leave me confused with feelings (I'm a very sensitive man), and I find myself becoming more distanced from them than I was before. It's almost like my freedom is being TAKEN. By who? The Devil? That sneaky rat! I feel like I can do anything at times, like I AM married to this woman. I know there are rules and guidelines to follow, and by all means I would LOVE to know these rules and be disciplined but as few and far between that I receive personal spiritual guidance to have this type of intellect, I find myself lost and feel life crashing down with such a velocity that I can't find any true joy, that I find myself discontent and unsatisfied with what I get. I find myself in hatred and among these bitter feelings I isolate myself from the people who matter. My life falls apart and I give and give until I am near hopeless. I refuse to accept defeat, to give up, I just don't know what to do... I don't know how to express myself!!!

 

[Cote Dawg]

To add to the mess, I get the feeling she isn't making any effort to get across to me. Like she is off in her own world, in la-la land... She does pray, I don't know how much, but she never talks about God, about Jesus, never wants to initiate prayer with me, says nothing other than things she wants or worries over. This leaves me strung out. Spread thin. I left her a while back because I was young and stupid, and when I found love, I devoted every drop of my life into conforming her with the image of God. I know we can't all be perfect, but I know how to communicate and how to listen to her well. She seems to not care when its the other way. I literally would work myself to death to have an extra moment with her and she becomes so sleepy at times she just wants to go off and rest regardless of my lack of quality bonding with her, and how woeful I become. I breakdown, even writing this now it brings me to tears because she makes me feel so unloved, even though I know how much she loves me and that she would never leave me - it adds to this mind numbing, heart throbbing pressure that has swelled up and choked me. I cry a lot for a man. I don't know why, it didn't used to be this way before I began being devotional. It hurts

 

[Cote Dawg]

I confess, I grow weary and angry in time. I am sexually active. I say things that should not be said. I have a history of substance abuse (which is at present behind me). And that of foul language. I'm sorry father, but I know in my heart you are there through these loved ones who seek to give that they may help you deliver me from the wicked things that surround my life. I belong to you o God. I love you God, amen.

 

[Brad Huber]

Praying for your emotional stability and the peace of God to enter your spirit, but you must be the one to allow it in. The more you deal with emotions the easier it becomes, but its a slow process, thats often painful, but its something we all go through, even our Lord Jesus. He understands your pain and wants to help you but you must take the first step of faith brother. Praying for you.

 

[Cote Dawg]

I am home from work. Today, I felt more faithfulness coming out of myself than I've ever experienced. It was sensational. I will continue to pray and exercise faith in the name of Jesus.