A long journey of waiting

[JesusFreak95]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. We met when we were 16 at a Bible camp and now we're 19 and both go to the same Christian college. I always seem to give my heart away quickly but this time she has given her heart as well and after a long friendship and 8 months of being exclusive I am just so ready to marry this girl. We have been making plans for awhile now and we have talked about things like our careers and how they match up and we both get very excited for our future. The issue is that her parents are very set on her graduating and getting settled in her career before she even gets engaged. I completely understand why they say that and at first I was confident in respecting her parents wishes but after 8 months (which I know isn't a very long time) its becoming very difficult for me to wait to marry her. She wants to be married as well but is very set on following her parents advice. Each day is a new day of counting down the days waiting for the day I can ask her and I don't want to have that constant countdown anymore cause I know she's feeling pressure from me thinking about it so much. How can I make this time we have to wait easier for her and I to deal with and for her to not be so pressured by how bad I want to marry her?

 

[Peter]

Hello JesusFreak95
I can relate to your feelings very much.
Inpatients points to a fear on not getting what you want. The fear that the longer you wait the less likely your wants (whatever they are) will be met.
So try and be really honest with yourself, and ask yourself, what exactly do you fear of missing out on?
What personal (ego) investments about your relationship do you feel are not being returned to you?

The answers to these may not be exactly what was hoped for. Let go of your investments in your girlfriend. Investments is a form of a claim that expects returns. Nobody has the right to claim somebody for them self. I know that you realize this, but sometimes our fears of loss, clouds this truth.

If you both are going to get engaged and married after graduation, is not waiting for that worth while?
Remember, love is patient. If you remain inpatient, then what is driving you to be so, because it is not love?

These questions are asked for your own consideration. I am not expecting any response.

May God Bless you on this matter.

 

[JesusFreak95]

Thanks so much for the reply. Definitely brought out some thoughts I needed to consider. I am more than willing to wait as long as I have to, but it still is difficult for me. I guess I was looking for an easy way of dealing with the impatience rather than getting rid of it all together.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Thanks so much for the reply. Definitely brought out some thoughts I needed to consider. I am more than willing to wait as long as I have to, but it still is difficult for me. I guess I was looking for an easy way of dealing with the impatience rather than getting rid of it all together.

Hey been there. If you really love her, you will be willing to wait to become a man of God who can support a family, before getting married.
It’s impossible for someone your age to know how hard marriage is! I was there, we waiting until 24 to get married but I still didn’t have a good job or know how to live on my own, couldn’t take care of us well. If I loved her I would have been a man, who could provide spiritually and financially for her. If you can do that right now, it shouldn’t take more than a couple years for her folks to come around but I would consider that before ever even talking about rings. I was with my wife for two years before we got married and ten years later she left me, God and took our kids.
It’s important to start strong as a man of God or you will never finish that way. Prayers up!!

 

[Christ4Ever]

Hey been there. If you really love her, you will be willing to wait to become a man of God who can support a family, before getting married.
It’s impossible for someone your age to know how hard marriage is! I was there, we waiting until 24 to get married but I still didn’t have a good job or know how to live on my own, couldn’t take care of us well. If I loved her I would have been a man, who could provide spiritually and financially for her. If you can do that right now, it shouldn’t take more than a couple years for her folks to come around but I would consider that before ever even talking about rings. I was with my wife for two years before we got married and ten years later she left me, God and took our kids.
It’s important to start strong as a man of God or you will never finish that way. Prayers up!!

Dear Brother,
This is an old thread from 2015. One never knows if they'll respond to your post, being that it's been 4 years since they've been on, but hopefully everything has straightened out for them in Christ.
By the way. Welcome to Talk Jesus
I hope you will find fellowship here and growth in His Word.

Again welcome with the Love of Christ Jesus.
YBIC
Nick
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