A question for all the men

[morethandiamonds]

Let me ask all the men a question. Theoretically speaking, of course. Would any of you ever date a woman that you met, whether at church or whatever, who happened to be in a wheelchair, but wasn't mentally challenged. Oh, and to top it off, she does dialysis three times a week because of kidney failure and is about to undergo numerous surgeries. I was curious to your answers. Thanks in advance
Cricket

 

[Fellowservant]

When it comes to love or friendship, you can't look at obstacles...so yes i would date her, but only in the lord( ie christian woman)... if i wasn't married of coarse, but i am... and happily so:star:

God bless you....

 

[cuprunsovr]

I guess I have to answer this 2-fold. As a young man (18-25) I truthfully wouldn't have, in reflection I was pretty self absorbed, thought I was 10 feet tall and bullet proof, and though I did some good, my heart was hard and if put to the a test of character like this I would have waivered.....that being said the truth in there is this girl wouldn't have wanted to be with that person.

Since then, spiritual growth / rebirth aside (if that can be set aside - don't think so?), I went from bullet proof to needing open heart surgery at age of 28. Fortunatly all went well but on meds for rest of life and somewhat limited in some things I can do which translates to now seeing people for who they are not what they are and the blessings there in. So the answer now would be yes.

Bottom line - if someone says "no" odds are it's a person the girl wouldn't want to be with even if her health was perfect.

 

[D73921]

It depends on whether God says I am supposed to be with her. In which case it probably wouldn't be a question, I would already be attracted to her somewhat. On the other hand, being with a disabled person is a huge committment, it goes beyond just trying to rationalize it in our own minds. You have to actually have experienced it to know whether you could handle it.

Its not so much a matter of being self-absorbed as it is a matter of coping ability. It is a very personal thing. I can say that I wouldn't be able to do it, not at this stage, maybe not ever. But who knows? The most important things are discerning God's will in the situation and prayer.

Also you don't necessarily have to date the person. You could help them as much as you can. And I also believe that sympathy should not be the basis for your relationship. If it isn't whole hearted mental, physical and spiritual love then forget it.

 

[charity777]

Yep

Good question, well if God gave me the desire to marry her yes!!!

 

[andrewnicholas]

Yes of course - the Lord places people where He wants them to be so earthly obstructions should never prevent love overcoming physical challenges.

Nicholas.

 

[DOWNFORCHRIST]

sure, with only one condition, that she would care for me as much as i would for her.

 

[andrewnicholas]

It seems

It seems your brothers and sisters around the world all agree.Love , the greatest gift of our faith , overcomes all.It is challenging when all is not well with your intended partner but true love is about loving people for their strengths and even moreso for their perceived weaknesses, as its then they need you most.God Bless.

 

[xr6]

Let me ask all the men a question. Theoretically speaking, of course. Would any of you ever date a woman that you met, whether at church or whatever, who happened to be in a wheelchair, but wasn't mentally challenged. Oh, and to top it off, she does dialysis three times a week because of kidney failure and is about to undergo numerous surgeries. I was curious to your answers. Thanks in advance
Cricket

the first thing she said was to me was "Do you believe in God"

we dated for 18 months.
Her best friend told me that she is a like a doll.
And yes she is.
Her friend set us up.
Her twisted hands are beautiful.
her smile is wow.
I had to listen hard when she talked.
Cerebal palsy.
Normal intellect.
Body dosent work as ours does.
We finished up 3 years ago.
we are still friends. We were talking on the phone tonight.
Her body dosent work like it should.
Her mind does!!!
My life was enriched being a part of her life

regards Xr6

 

[andrewnicholas]

A related message

Some months ago when our dear friend raised this issue I responded by saying each relationship should be judged on its merits.I do believe that total acceptance love is when you love a person for their strengths and even more for their weaknesses for its then that they need you most. At church last year I met a lady I had not seen for many years.She had married but unfortunately separated and is now divorce.She has three children, all wonderful and loving, but suffers from a degenerative disease that would rule out the physical aspect of a relationship.We have gradually been brought together and her incapacity is not a problem for me.When I first commented it was talking the talk in an aspirational sense but now I can truly say I am walking the walk as we become closer. I love her for the wondeful, spiritual, kind and loving person she is.We are, for the moment, just very good friends but I hope in time the Lord will bring us together permanently.I'm no hero, nothing special just someone who sees something very special in this beautiful lady and her disability never enters my mind.So to answer the original question - emphatically yes men can love outside the stereo type "norm" - what ever that is and this lady has enriched my life greatly.I thank God each and every day for her presence in my life and I adore her children.

Nicholas.