My grandma has had this story on her wall for years I thought it was cute and wanted to share it.
Old-Time Preacher Was Up Against It!
As told by McCreary Roberts
Many years ago a lady lived away up in the mountains. She didn't know anything at all about the Bible. A neighbor, feeling sorry for the lady, sent a preacher to her cabin to get her converted.
The preacher arrived at the isolated cabin and knocked on the door. When the woman opened the door the preacher introduced himself and asked, "Are you a Christian?"
"No," she replied, "I am a Republican."
The preacher then said, "Sister, I'm afraid you're in the dark!"
"Yes, I guess I am," the woman said. "I'm going to get John to cut another window when he gets home."
The preacher looked around, he said, "Where is John?"
"He's gone hunting" the woman stated.
Tapping his Bible in his hand, the preacher asked, "Does John fear the Lord?"
For a moment the woman seemed puzzled. Then her face brightened and she said, "I guesss he does. He took his gun with him."
With a slight tinge of impatience in his voice, the preacher said, "I meam does he have salvation?"
Again the woman had to think a moment. She said, "Yes, I think he has it in one of his hips."
"Sister," the preacher said with emphasis, "don't you want to go to heaven?"
"I don't know," she said, "John and I have been thinking about selling out and going to Texas. If we don't, we might take a notion to go to that place."
The preacher was beginning to be put out with the woman. He said firmly, "Lady, do you know anything about the Eternal End?"
The woman paused only for a second before answering. "Yes, I do," she said. "I got caught in a hail storm the other day, and I liked to have got my Eternal End beat off!"
The preacher was nearly fed up. He said, "Sister, if you don't live right you will regret it on judgement day!"
"Yes" she said, " that is a great day. But don't tell John or he'll be there on the old white mule as drunk as the devil!"
The preacher was ready to leave. He said, "Sister, don't you know Jesus died to save sinners?"
The woman was suprised. "Lord no! I didn't even know he was sick, or I would have sent him a jar of jelly."
The preacher turned to leave. He said, "Well, sister, I'll see you in the Promised Land."
"You may see John and the kids," she said, "but I don't hardly go anywhere myself."
(The old lady had a good answer for every question the preacher asked. It may not have been the answer he expected, but the answers satisfied the old lady)
Old-Time Preacher Was Up Against It!
As told by McCreary Roberts
Many years ago a lady lived away up in the mountains. She didn't know anything at all about the Bible. A neighbor, feeling sorry for the lady, sent a preacher to her cabin to get her converted.
The preacher arrived at the isolated cabin and knocked on the door. When the woman opened the door the preacher introduced himself and asked, "Are you a Christian?"
"No," she replied, "I am a Republican."
The preacher then said, "Sister, I'm afraid you're in the dark!"
"Yes, I guess I am," the woman said. "I'm going to get John to cut another window when he gets home."
The preacher looked around, he said, "Where is John?"
"He's gone hunting" the woman stated.
Tapping his Bible in his hand, the preacher asked, "Does John fear the Lord?"
For a moment the woman seemed puzzled. Then her face brightened and she said, "I guesss he does. He took his gun with him."
With a slight tinge of impatience in his voice, the preacher said, "I meam does he have salvation?"
Again the woman had to think a moment. She said, "Yes, I think he has it in one of his hips."
"Sister," the preacher said with emphasis, "don't you want to go to heaven?"
"I don't know," she said, "John and I have been thinking about selling out and going to Texas. If we don't, we might take a notion to go to that place."
The preacher was beginning to be put out with the woman. He said firmly, "Lady, do you know anything about the Eternal End?"
The woman paused only for a second before answering. "Yes, I do," she said. "I got caught in a hail storm the other day, and I liked to have got my Eternal End beat off!"
The preacher was nearly fed up. He said, "Sister, if you don't live right you will regret it on judgement day!"
"Yes" she said, " that is a great day. But don't tell John or he'll be there on the old white mule as drunk as the devil!"
The preacher was ready to leave. He said, "Sister, don't you know Jesus died to save sinners?"
The woman was suprised. "Lord no! I didn't even know he was sick, or I would have sent him a jar of jelly."
The preacher turned to leave. He said, "Well, sister, I'll see you in the Promised Land."
"You may see John and the kids," she said, "but I don't hardly go anywhere myself."
(The old lady had a good answer for every question the preacher asked. It may not have been the answer he expected, but the answers satisfied the old lady)
