Addiction

[rebecca]

My husband has been struggling with a porn addiction since very young.
Its made our almost 6 years of marriage very hard.

Each time he wishes to fight the addiction, he does well for about two weeks then falls back. He gets lazy with spending time with God.

This time he says he really wants to be free of it. There are little differences than the other times, but I know I could not handle any more of the rubbish that comes with it.

He doesn't have very good understanding of why I am still hurt even when he is getting over it. And can't understand why trust will take so long to get back. He is an impatient guy, he wants it all fixed now.

I have had a very hard few weeks, I am so burned out in every way.

I have had to come off antidepressants very fast and the withdrawals, were unbearable, I have 9 weeks till the birth of our 3rd child and the other two are 3 and 20 months.

My father in the past few months told me he was as good as dead to me and not to contact him. And my grandfather has just had cancer removed.
Mum is also unwell and can't help out a lot. And his wife not long got over a stroke.

Plus there is normal life in there somewhere, lol, being a mother etc.

I don't feel I can handle much more right now. If hubby slips with the porn I know it will tear me apart.
But I can see he is starting to fall again as he has gotten lazy with his devotions and time with God.

Our marriage is about I, not we and I hate that, its not a team. Sigh, he can't open up to me about a lot of things, he can't even be intimate due to guilt, so I long to even have cuddles.
I hate being so lonely in the marriage.

He is getting counselling and so am I but not together yet.

Mainly, I we prayer, its hard right now and all I want to do is hide and sleep in my bed.

TY for listening

God Bless

 

[ax d-slayer]

i was addicted to porn before i was saved.... and even after i was saved i was SOOOOOOO addicted that i could get rid of it .... One Day God spoke directly to me and gave me the deliverence from that sin of Adultery.... Sister we need God strength only if we ask Him that We will seek and, i just wanna say that if your husband seeks God's Will and is serious God will deliver Him.... God Bless You sis

Lots of Love in Christ
Ax

 

[Faithful Son]

Hi there sister, please read this thread to see if you can't help your husband out a bit more.

http://www.talkjesus.com/counseling/10569-run-your-life.html

Regarding your Father, pray that God's will be done in his life, pray for him each day, even when you don't want to. You'll soon see God's plan for your life.

It seems like you have been blessed with healthy children, you can be sure to thank God Almighty for that sister, try to see the positives in each situation, not wordly positives, but Godly positives.

I will pray for you and your family, everything will be well, trust in God.

God bless
Much love
teraside

 

[shepherdsgrace]

God bless you and encourage you rebecca. May you have the strength to come to God in prayer and simply lay it all at his feet and then get up and leave it. You need to lay the burden down so that you can care for those precious children.

It is for sure that you cannot make your husband do what is right but you can UTTERLY turn him over to God and then you live for the Lord. You do not have to fix him in any way.

May you be be strengthened and filled with peace. Perhaps reading Philippians 4;4-8 will aid you in prayer. You are precious and so important. You have three lives that God has entrusted to you. God will care for you as you look to Him. One thing I know. His kindness is better than life.

 

[love]

My husband has been struggling with a porn addiction since very young.
Its made our almost 6 years of marriage very hard.

Each time he wishes to fight the addiction, he does well for about two weeks then falls back. He gets lazy with spending time with God.

This time he says he really wants to be free of it. There are little differences than the other times, but I know I could not handle any more of the rubbish that comes with it.

He doesn't have very good understanding of why I am still hurt even when he is getting over it. And can't understand why trust will take so long to get back. He is an impatient guy, he wants it all fixed now.

I have had a very hard few weeks, I am so burned out in every way.

I have had to come off antidepressants very fast and the withdrawals, were unbearable, I have 9 weeks till the birth of our 3rd child and the other two are 3 and 20 months.

My father in the past few months told me he was as good as dead to me and not to contact him. And my grandfather has just had cancer removed.
Mum is also unwell and can't help out a lot. And his wife not long got over a stroke.

Plus there is normal life in there somewhere, lol, being a mother etc.

I don't feel I can handle much more right now. If hubby slips with the porn I know it will tear me apart.
But I can see he is starting to fall again as he has gotten lazy with his devotions and time with God.

Our marriage is about I, not we and I hate that, its not a team. Sigh, he can't open up to me about a lot of things, he can't even be intimate due to guilt, so I long to even have cuddles.
I hate being so lonely in the marriage.

He is getting counselling and so am I but not together yet.

Mainly, I we prayer, its hard right now and all I want to do is hide and sleep in my bed.

TY for listening

God Bless

wish you god speed , just thought i'd also say we all a work in progress until we die in the flesh , all things work for the good of those that love him god will get glory out of evey thing even lifes troubles its all just a test of faith

 

[calluna]

You have alot going on, it's too much to carry on your shoulders.

Mathew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"

Pornography is a marriage killer for sure. I am part of another website that has a counselling thread for those hurt by pornography, it is of epidemic proportions. That being said, As my brother ax-d-slayer said, it is possible to be delivered from this addiction. Keep on praying for your husband daily.
Does your husband have an accountability partner other than you, someone from church that he can trust or a friend? I presume your husband is viewing pornography on the computer right?
If your husband is really serious this time about getting this junk out of his life, then he should seriously consider getting a programme installed into the computer that will bar access to any pornography. This accountability partner can install it for him, and make the password etc....so your husband will not know it.

This is what some of the other husbands did. And it really helped the person to have no temptation nearby, and be able to concentrate on rebuilding the relationship with the Lord again, and with their wives.

I praise God that you are both seeking counselling, the next step would be like you mentioned, counselling together, so you are helped given the right tools in getting close again and rebuilding a relationship.

I am sorry that you and your father are not on speaking terms. And all the other strife you having within your family. I know that our Father in heaven loves you dearly and He wants to be your comforter and for you to rest in His arms.
I will pray for you rebecca.

:girl_hug: for you

Calluna

 

[rebecca]

Things have been going well, ty so much for your advice and prayers!
God is doing wonders in us both!

With my dad I feel sorry for him, he is missing out on so much, but I am less stressed with out him, sad I know but it was very hard having a relationship with him.

Ty everyone, God Bless

 

[jduhduh33]

Hello Rebecca! I can relate to what you are going through...My husband too was/is addicted to porn. It is still hard to trust him completely. I'm not sure that you actually can feel like you can trust someone like that after they have violated your trust. My husband has been reading a book called, "Every Man's Battle." It has been an eye-opening book. Our pastor suggested it to him and now he is getting ready to help lead a class to other men on this very addiction. As for me, it is still hard to let it go because you never know if they are still looking up that stuff on the computer or not. I had to recognize that I have no control over my husband or his thoughts. If he wanted to look at that stuff, he could still look at it without my knowledge. If I continued to worry about it, it would make me sick. I had to give it to GOD because He is the only one that can help my husband with his addiction. There is a website that you can go to, if he is also willing called Covenant Eyes, that act as an accountability partner on the internet with you and your husband, that is if you are interested....Good luck to you and stay strong! GOD bless....

My husband has been struggling with a porn addiction since very young.
Its made our almost 6 years of marriage very hard.

Each time he wishes to fight the addiction, he does well for about two weeks then falls back. He gets lazy with spending time with God.

This time he says he really wants to be free of it. There are little differences than the other times, but I know I could not handle any more of the rubbish that comes with it.

He doesn't have very good understanding of why I am still hurt even when he is getting over it. And can't understand why trust will take so long to get back. He is an impatient guy, he wants it all fixed now.

I have had a very hard few weeks, I am so burned out in every way.

I have had to come off antidepressants very fast and the withdrawals, were unbearable, I have 9 weeks till the birth of our 3rd child and the other two are 3 and 20 months.

My father in the past few months told me he was as good as dead to me and not to contact him. And my grandfather has just had cancer removed.
Mum is also unwell and can't help out a lot. And his wife not long got over a stroke.

Plus there is normal life in there somewhere, lol, being a mother etc.

I don't feel I can handle much more right now. If hubby slips with the porn I know it will tear me apart.
But I can see he is starting to fall again as he has gotten lazy with his devotions and time with God.

Our marriage is about I, not we and I hate that, its not a team. Sigh, he can't open up to me about a lot of things, he can't even be intimate due to guilt, so I long to even have cuddles.
I hate being so lonely in the marriage.

He is getting counselling and so am I but not together yet.

Mainly, I we prayer, its hard right now and all I want to do is hide and sleep in my bed.

TY for listening

God Bless

 

[pixie]

Sweet Rebecca

Hi Rebecca. You are getting good counsel and you are in my prayers and thoughts. Pornography was in my life at one point too and I wish it had never been now. My goodness, three young children. Honestly when they are all grown, you end up missing their little smiles and innocence. But it is a tough going. Treasure the moments though. Care for yourself and your relationship with Jesus first and foremost. Love the Lord with all your heart and He will bring healing.

Malachi 4:2
But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.

Acts 3:16:
16By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see.

One very important thing. Stay connected with Christians and hopefully stay connected here at Talk Jesus, where we can share in prayer and praise. It is a good thing to praise the Lord, even when you are down. I hate pornography, it takes so much away from a human being, it hurts the spirit inside us so very much. I just can't stand it.

I understand your hurt Rebecca and I pray for you and for the Holy Spirit to rejoice in you and your mothering of your children

May God bless you and Amenixie :rainbow:

 

[monkeys]

Dear Sister Rebecca,

I am so sorry about what is happening. I know how it feels about the porn (I hate that word too). But it IS something that your husband can get through. It's important that you let your husband know how you are feeling. It's good that you are both going to you, but what about going to one session together?

I know how you feel about being a team. That's really important to me too. I pray that things will come together Rebecca. I saw in your previous post that things have gotten better. I pray that the Lord gives you a sound-mind and heart.

I Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives...

Many Blessings,
monkeys

 

[love]

Things have been going well, ty so much for your advice and prayers!
God is doing wonders in us both!

With my dad I feel sorry for him, he is missing out on so much, but I am less stressed with out him, sad I know but it was very hard having a relationship with him.

Ty everyone, God Bless[/Q
may the glory of god show up in all situations ! amen !!blessings

 

[rebecca]

Things are good, on the 22nd of April my beautiful son was born, dh has been wonderful! Apart from a little set back he is doing well with the addiction.

God has been working in him!
Ty for prayers.

God Bless

 

[Chad]

Thank you for updating us sister with the good news, and congtrats on your newborn child! I'm very happy for you and your husband.

I will pray that you continue seeking His face and further increase in wisdom and deliverance from any bondages.

GOD is with you. Remember, by His strength in Jesus alone not ours!