Adultery

[Lanolin]

what happens when there is adultery amongst christians?
What happens to the children of the marriage thats affected, and how do other church members deal with it.

I had two cases I suppose you call it with children who's parent commited adultery.

One the mum divorced the dad. They go to separate churches, she has custody of the daughter.
The other i think they separated but didnt divorce (yet) but the adulterous mum got custody of the youngest daughter. The dad had the other three children and went to a different church but and the mum doesnt go to any, she hasnt repented and still seeing the ...adulterer. Who was the husbands best friend. What a betrayal.

Anyway am not here to judge or condemn thats just what happened. My concern isnt for the adults who are responisble for their own actions. Im just wondering about the children are they getting proper care?

Is it my place to say something to the adults or is it just to be a friend to the children. I think God wants me to care and pray for the children as they belong to Him though I notice hes only giving me girls. I feel kind of like a nanny, although am not qualified to be one!

The daughters can only see their dads when their mum wants them to see him. Is this a good or bad thing.

Another mum I was called to get alongside had two daughters and she was struggling in her faith and she wouldnt tell me the reason for her divorce. It then dawned on me she was the adulterous one in her heart, and she had kind of broken a relationship to marry this man(after the divorce she was wanting to date a younger unbeliever) but her husband wasnt a believer. However the daughters that were affected, got closer to God and now attend youth group.

Confused? I was and still am. Sometimes I think why cant I have normal friendships with christians who kept their word, and who when they marry stuck with their vows.

 

[Lanolin]

Am also not sure if because of divorced/adulterous parents its ok to teach the ten commandments because of the one about adultery. One bible teacher said she avoided it.

I teach bible in schools. As am not married myself I wonder if should say anything. I do think its wrong and singles can be affected by adultery too..i mean i have had married men come on to me before.

 

[Lanolin]

I hope this isnt taken as gossip these things are out in the public actually.

What confuses me is..when the person who commits adultery then goes to another church. Does that mean they have repented? I dont think its happened that they then remarry with the person they commited adultery with..

But what happened in the churches Ive attended is when someone commits adultery, even if it was a minister they were told to leave the church. Maybe its just that one they attended with their spouse?

Its all very complicated :-(
I think if someone has commited adultery they wouldnt want to come to church anyway. But then theres a case of a workmate who told me her husband who was like a minister cheated on her. She kept her faith, left his church if course and went to a different one and he carried on with his own as he was like this evnagelist. She had a son.

I mean these people are elder than me in faith and I thought they would be people I can look up to, one used to be my neighbour, so was really shocked that all this stuff happened.

I sometimes chat with the daughter who is i think about 9 years old now as see her sometimes but that neighbour family that split all left that church. The husband goes somewhere else with the other children one joined the navy but the adulterous wife doesnt go anywhere. I cant really say much about her faith as all the time in that church she was there but she wasnt really there so I wasnt sure what her relationship with God was truly like, if shed come to a bible study or sat near me maybe I would know but all I know is she was raised in church. If i knew her better maybe could have said something or prayed for her marriage i just feel bad for the children :-(

I think the bible does say if someone is sinning and weak someone who is stronger can restore them? Since she no longer comes to church hardly see her anyway..and she hasnt asked for help from me but sometimes do see her from afar when she goes to help her mum and dad and her duaghter wants to chat with me. Her daughter just thinks her mum and dad are being silly but her 'uncle' the guy her mum is with is around more often.

Do we just pray that God will sort their marriage out but in the meantime just be real awkward when seeing either mum or dad knowing they arent together as man and wife anymore and just learn not to ask oh hows so and so or expect them ever to do stuff together as a married couple ever again?! From one friend that knows them much better when asked if they were ever getting back together she was like NO DEFINATELY NOT!

Arrgh. And the parents are quite ashamed that their daughters marriage is broken but nothing much they can do as they say she wont listen or repent. Maybe when shes bored of the 'uncle' or he leaves or something?

 

[only son]

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns that at least 12 million Americans are infected yearly with some kind of sexually transmitted disease.

just the physical risks of adultery are devastating.

 

[Rejoice evermore.]

what happens when there is adultery amongst christians?
What happens to the children of the marriage thats affected, and how do other church members deal with it.

I had two cases I suppose you call it with children who's parent commited adultery.

One the mum divorced the dad. They go to separate churches, she has custody of the daughter.
The other i think they separated but didnt divorce (yet) but the adulterous mum got custody of the youngest daughter. The dad had the other three children and went to a different church but and the mum doesnt go to any, she hasnt repented and still seeing the ...adulterer. Who was the husbands best friend. What a betrayal.

Anyway am not here to judge or condemn thats just what happened. My concern isnt for the adults who are responisble for their own actions. Im just wondering about the children are they getting proper care?

Is it my place to say something to the adults or is it just to be a friend to the children. I think God wants me to care and pray for the children as they belong to Him though I notice hes only giving me girls. I feel kind of like a nanny, although am not qualified to be one!

The daughters can only see their dads when their mum wants them to see him. Is this a good or bad thing.

Another mum I was called to get alongside had two daughters and she was struggling in her faith and she wouldnt tell me the reason for her divorce. It then dawned on me she was the adulterous one in her heart, and she had kind of broken a relationship to marry this man(after the divorce she was wanting to date a younger unbeliever) but her husband wasnt a believer. However the daughters that were affected, got closer to God and now attend youth group.

Confused? I was and still am. Sometimes I think why cant I have normal friendships with christians who kept their word, and who when they marry stuck with their vows.

Neighbor, there is no provision for divorce in the case of adultery. Because the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress.

The only provision for divorce is fornication. As it is written:

Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

And as it is written in the law:

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.

 

[watertolive]

Yes, and what about forgiveness...?
It also says to go and be reconciled to your wife. It doesn't say to take another; because you two, were bound in the vows of holy matrimony, and the two were intwined into one flesh. She has his missing rib.

 

[watertolive]

How Abt when the adulter is standing at the pulpit? and in charge of the congregation?

 

[MedicBravo]

what happens when there is adultery amongst christians?
What happens to the children of the marriage thats affected, and how do other church members deal with it.

I had two cases I suppose you call it with children who's parent commited adultery.

One the mum divorced the dad. They go to separate churches, she has custody of the daughter.
The other i think they separated but didnt divorce (yet) but the adulterous mum got custody of the youngest daughter. The dad had the other three children and went to a different church but and the mum doesnt go to any, she hasnt repented and still seeing the ...adulterer. Who was the husbands best friend. What a betrayal.

Anyway am not here to judge or condemn thats just what happened. My concern isnt for the adults who are responisble for their own actions. Im just wondering about the children are they getting proper care?

Is it my place to say something to the adults or is it just to be a friend to the children. I think God wants me to care and pray for the children as they belong to Him though I notice hes only giving me girls. I feel kind of like a nanny, although am not qualified to be one!

The daughters can only see their dads when their mum wants them to see him. Is this a good or bad thing.

Another mum I was called to get alongside had two daughters and she was struggling in her faith and she wouldnt tell me the reason for her divorce. It then dawned on me she was the adulterous one in her heart, and she had kind of broken a relationship to marry this man(after the divorce she was wanting to date a younger unbeliever) but her husband wasnt a believer. However the daughters that were affected, got closer to God and now attend youth group.

Confused? I was and still am. Sometimes I think why cant I have normal friendships with christians who kept their word, and who when they marry stuck with their vows.

IMO, it's a difficult thing.
If you're not personally and emotionally invested like family or close friends, I would say many Christian are going to "feel attacked' and "What right do you have to confront me about it?" being blinded by the fact that(hopefully) you're coming from God's POV and what He's said on such things.
Every church has failed me. My last church, back in Fall 2017, the Pastor was "spending time with the church secretary". A woman who had her own past, always wore makeup, always had her nails did, etc. and he married her to her former husband 2 years prior to 2017.
In essence he divorced his own wife, claiming "Mental instability" which got him custody of ALL 4 kids. He married that "woman" and is STILL pastor of that church. Thing is....a lot of people knew about it. It wasn't just fat hen rumor talking. Someone get ahold of texts and pictures of her car at his house before he legally divorced his wife.
I doubt he had any legit defense for it. Truth is that is ALL too common. The "God doesn't want me to be unhappy." so they can sin to "get happy".

 

[Fragrant Grace]

The situations described on this thread have already happened.
The adultery has been committed.
Time can't be turned back.

The Lord said to the woman taken up in adultery

Neither fo I condemn thee
Go and sin no more
John 8:11

Sister @Lanolin if these women and children are in your life.....treat them with Christian love and care...nurture them and the friendship.

Don't try to unravel their past and understand it....it can't be changed.
The Lord knows their heart and He loves and forgives

Blessings

 

[complete]

Hello @Fragrant Grace,

As I think of what I want to say, in my mind's eye I see a picture of waste products, littering the waterways of our rivers and coastline, unsightly, potentially lethal to wildlife, some of which are not bio-degradable and therefore need to be physically gathered up and taken to a place of safe disposal. For marriage break-down, and it's consequences can be seen about us on all sides, single men and women struggling to bring up traumatised children, or unable to share the lives of their children for reasons we are not party to. Hurt, embittered, or filled with hatred or remorse. Children bearing upon their young shoulders burdens which they are not able to bear, having to become carers themselves for parents who are war weary, and struggling to cope. Shipwrecked lives cast up on life's shoreline,

If only we were taught from a young age the wisdom of the Scriptures, and taught how to live by it's precepts. If marriage was preceded by the same teaching, and believing couples united together within the love of God, with a wholesome understanding of what their roles are, towards each other, and the children they would produce by their union. Unity being the key word. Learning to be a doer of the Word and not a hearer only, in the knowledge that feelings are fickle, and not to be trusted. Learning to love in deed and in truth, and not in word only. If you buy a car, and things are going wrong with it, you refer to the manual, read what it has to say, and act accordingly, to solve the problems that arise. Yet we, who are made by God, ignore the manual that He has written for our learning!! How stupid we are.

These are just my thoughts, I hope they make sense.
Thank you
In Christ Jesus
Chris

 

[alexiv]

A lot to think about...

 

[Garee]

IMO, it's a difficult thing.
If you're not personally and emotionally invested like family or close friends, I would say many Christian are going to "feel attacked' and "What right do you have to confront me about it?" being blinded by the fact that(hopefully) you're coming from God's POV and what He's said on such things.
Every church has failed me. My last church, back in Fall 2017, the Pastor was "spending time with the church secretary". A woman who had her own past, always wore makeup, always had her nails did, etc. and he married her to her former husband 2 years prior to 2017.
In essence he divorced his own wife, claiming "Mental instability" which got him custody of ALL 4 kids. He married that "woman" and is STILL pastor of that church. Thing is....a lot of people knew about it. It wasn't just fat hen rumor talking. Someone get ahold of texts and pictures of her car at his house before he legally divorced his wife.
I doubt he had any legit defense for it. Truth is that is ALL too common. The "God doesn't want me to be unhappy." so they can sin to "get happy".

I would offer I think it has something to do with "ceremonial laws" designed to cause a wonderment of the power and purity of the gospel . . . in a hope of God drawing dying mankind to His living word. . Churches. . . . . sinners can fail.

Churches where more than one family gathered a strangers are welcome is designed as a sign to the unbelieving world of the power of God . By and through those "ceremonial laws" as shadows that profit for nothing. By them God can and does draw men to His living abiding word.

In that way God is not served by human hands as a stationary temple or water as in living moving . His word is alive and is not found in temples made with the dying hands of mankind . Believers are the living temple beginning with Abel . God moved Israel out of Egypt (this worldism) you could say. . they went around the world (the wilderness) as ambassadors from a foreign unseen land. . . the heavenly city.

Many pagan nations witnessed the gospel by means of the "ceremonial shadows". The manna as the daily bread of God's will stopped when it reaches its destination 40 years later. 40 years (time of testing) . .revealing the gospel to the world .

When the hidden manna stopped those who disregard the gospel replaced the manna with there oral traditions of dying mankind (I heard it through the kings and fathers grapevine) .revealing to us . . no God in their hard hearts .

In the way that not all israel is born again Israel. God divorced (death of a relationship) the Israel of that faithless kind . Keeping his mercy and grace open to those. . . with a new heart and spirit the new creation Christian

While the shadows of the old testament ceremonial law became sight (the three days and nights promised demonstration) the reformation came restoring the government of peace of two the Father and the Son .Destroying kings in Israel the abomination of desolation the pagan form of government .

1 Corinthian 11 establishes a new shadow to look ahead by to the end of our new faith the consommation of the wedding supper made up of two representations of the glory of God . The head covered for one and uncovered head for the other along with the breaking of the bread (the will of God) and the drinking it blood of grapes in . . the veil in heaven is lifted .

The husband of one wife is the requirement able to teach children a family as a show or sign to the world .(not a self edifying sign to themselves.) We can lift up to those who are blessed follow the example as they are following Christ .

Two or three a family that gathers under the hearing of the living word of God. . . it makes a ministry, neither male nor female. . the father and son the ministry of the father .A picture of His ministry a sign to the world .

The fulfillment of prophecy to the believer as a gospel sign to the world .

It would seem a ceremony to the world nearing distinction .

1 Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of onewife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

Not one wife at a time (LOL)

1 Timothy 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

No wives can neither have many husbands just as husbands cannot many wives.

How would that as a ceremonial sign to the whole world represent the peace that surpases our understanding?He gives us ears to hear His understand.

Not promoting divorce God is divorced of a faithless relation ship . If one does seek it would sem they shold kep i mind they will not be used asa sign to the world as misteres of the gospel . Bless those who bless pray for the streth of our Father as Lord of lords .

 

[Bill]

what happens when there is adultery amongst christians?
What happens to the children of the marriage thats affected, and how do other church members deal with it.

I had two cases I suppose you call it with children who's parent commited adultery.

One the mum divorced the dad. They go to separate churches, she has custody of the daughter.
The other i think they separated but didnt divorce (yet) but the adulterous mum got custody of the youngest daughter. The dad had the other three children and went to a different church but and the mum doesnt go to any, she hasnt repented and still seeing the ...adulterer. Who was the husbands best friend. What a betrayal.

Anyway am not here to judge or condemn thats just what happened. My concern isnt for the adults who are responisble for their own actions. Im just wondering about the children are they getting proper care?

Is it my place to say something to the adults or is it just to be a friend to the children. I think God wants me to care and pray for the children as they belong to Him though I notice hes only giving me girls. I feel kind of like a nanny, although am not qualified to be one!

The daughters can only see their dads when their mum wants them to see him. Is this a good or bad thing.

Another mum I was called to get alongside had two daughters and she was struggling in her faith and she wouldnt tell me the reason for her divorce. It then dawned on me she was the adulterous one in her heart, and she had kind of broken a relationship to marry this man(after the divorce she was wanting to date a younger unbeliever) but her husband wasnt a believer. However the daughters that were affected, got closer to God and now attend youth group.

Confused? I was and still am. Sometimes I think why cant I have normal friendships with christians who kept their word, and who when they marry stuck with their vows.

Sin enters. The devils are relentless in trying to keep us from God. And breaking down the family is the best way to go after innocent children.

When adults sin. When parents sin, it opens the door for the darkness to get to the children

 

[Bill]

Do not jump to the conclusion, once you are a Christian you can sin all you want. Paul states in Galatians that those who hand themselves over to iniquities or sin he States "I warn you now as I warned you before those who behave like this will not inherit the kingdom of God"