advice on comforting parents

[Truedawn]

Hi there,

We just talked with dear friends of ours and found out that their baby is dead in the womb. Tomorrow she goes to give birth to their son. My heart aches for them. I prayed with her tonight. And will keep on praying. Friday will be the funeral. She only had a few months to reach full term. Their oldest went to the store to return all the baby stuff that was just bought.

I am wondering what ways you have comforted/ministered to those you love who have lost a baby. I plan to bring a meal and go play with their children. And keep on praying. Thank you in advance for sharing.

 

[Property Of God]

One of the reflections of Lazarus story in the bible could help.

He used to be close to Jesus, and Jesus loved him and loved his sisters because they were his good friends, when he died Martha and Mary begged Jesus to do anything to help him.
Jesus didn't comfort them or told them wait for 4 more days and I'll bring him to life again, instead He wept over him, He didn't want to disrespect their agony and sorrow, He shared it and said nothing, because He knew that Lazarus will live again, He knew everything will be fine again.

Just tell her that Jesus knows, He watches it all in silence and weeps with her but He doesn't need send you flashing lights or E-mails telling you Hey, it'll be Okay soon, because He knows in His heart that IT WILL BE OKAY!

Pain will take its time and it'll result in strength, patience and compassion towards others.
Pray for her and I know she'll be fine.

 

[leapdaybride]

I am so sorry for your friends....They are surely in my prayers and thoughts. I know her heart aches and she may feel that God has abandened her. But you must remind her that Jesus is there beside her, especially at this time of great sorrow. He aches with her, he crys for her. And her sweet child is now at his right hand. I have lost a baby and I just think of him watching and aching for me when I cry for him. It hurts him to see me cry, and I think he wants me to go on and be a good servant to our LORD so that I can be with him someday in the place where Jesus has his plan for us.

She has an angel in heaven now, who can watch over her family.

I think it's best to just give her a long, tight, loving HUG! She will feel your prayers! God Bless you and I will be praying for the family.

 

[Property Of God]

I think it's best to just give her a long, tight, loving HUG! She will feel your prayers! God Bless you and I will be praying for the family.

I'm extremly happy and thrilled for how you feel now sister leapdaybride, you have grown so much in a short time! I'm SO impressed.

I look at you and I see God's miracles infront of my eyes...
God bless you!!

Praise the Lord!

 

[leapdaybride]

God Bless You Nermeen, as you have had a hand in my healing!! Thank you so much for your prayers and very kind words! You are truly a faithful and decreet servant of our loving father! I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful friends in Jesus! I know he has directed me to "Talk Jesus" for healing and understanding of his WORD!

 

[By His Grace]

My sister in-law was in a similar situation her baby girl died days due.This kind of situation is not easy at all, we were comforting both my brother and sis in-inlaw including the kids who were expectant of the new arrival of baby girl.

What i can advice you, is to comfort and stand with them the best you know how, physically, in prayers, financially etc. It also depends on your relationship with the lady how far you can supprt her. As for me i was very close to my inlaw, she was the best ever inlaw i've ever heard(unfotunately there no longer together with my brother). I stood with her in the maternity ward when the doctors had to induce/ start forced labour.....i held her hand assuring and comforting her. its so sad to go through that pain only to bring forth a dead gorgeous daughter.

I continued to comfort her after the incident, by giving her love, physical support, prayers, encourage her to go church and involve in projects and bussinesses just to keep her busy and away from thinking. We are miles apart but i still send her gifts and know her whereabouts.

Sister, always put her and family in prayers and ask the H.Spirit to comfort them. Ask the peace of God to reign in their family.

 

[Truedawn]

Thank you to each of you who have written and shared. I'm really thankful for your hearts. Thank you for your prayers for this dear family, too.

 

[Bunnytus]

I just posted in another area a few minutes ago my story on losing my son. He was a full-term stillborn. (Died two days before delivery). My story is not written in detail but the main parts are there. The way I made it through was because God paved the way early on for me. I was able to accept my loss even more so when I heard the condition he would have been in had he been born alive (and survived followin birth).

I lost 4 babies and have 3 living. My youngest child was a twin, but I lost him/her early on.

Comforting someone after a loss is difficult because emotions are running very high and more than likely (no offense) he or she will not be in a rational state of mind. It's a part of grieving and we all go through it at some point in our lives unfortunately.

The best advice I can offer is calmly be by their sides and patiently wait for them to be ready to open up. Do your best to not say things like, "I know exactly how you feel" or "I understand what you are feeling," unless you too have experienced the same thing they have. What I mean by being calm is: You don't need to constantly keep up chatter or run around trying to do everything because this can become an annoyance or stressor for your friends. (no offense... I hope you get what I am saying here.)

I am sorry to hear about your friends' lost. I am sure their pain is great but they will find their way back around and will hopefully will find themselves ready to try again. I will pray for them and for you; that God may bless you with all you need to help your friends in the way they need it most. ^i^

 

[Truedawn]

Thank you Bunny for sharing your experiance, wisdom and heart that is very helpful.

 

[Truedawn]

How special is this site of T.J. Three of you wrote me on this post - from three differant countries. Amazing! God is so very good!

 

[Bunnytus]

You are very welcome TD! Anytime you need anything...feel free to PM me. I will provide you with my email then too. Take care and God Bless.

 

[Truedawn]

Thank you.

I did get to give her a good long tight hug last week as she cried and cried. Plan to talk with her tomorrow and see if she wants to go out for a walk or a cup of tea. Praying for them and loving on them ongoingly i'm guessing is important. My husband is also reaching out to the husband as well.

Thank you all for praying for this dear family. God bless you and yours.

 

[WithUsAlways]

God bless your friend I hope that the Lord will get her through this hard time and will comfort her and her partner when they are in need.Talking from experience I would say just be there for them.
They won't expect you to understand unless you have been there yourself but what they will need are friends who will be there when they need to talk, pray or even cry.
It is going to be a hard time for them but just help them through it.
Some days are going to be harder than others but as long as they know that they always have you to turn to it will give them more comfort than you will ever know.

God bless your friend I hope that the Lord will get her through this hard time and will comfort her and her partner when they are in need.

 

[Truedawn]

Thank you WUA, prayers are always welcome and appreicated (can't get the spell check to work tonight).

I stopped over today & hung out with the kids and then my friend (the mom). My husband talked with her husband tonight (not knowing that I had gotten to stop by and visit) it sounds like the guys had a good chat as well. Neat to watch the Holy Spirit working - and an honor to be used in that way. Thank you Jesus.

Please keep on praying as you all feel led. Thank you.

 

[WithUsAlways]

My prayer continue for you for as long as you need them Sister.
God Bless you and the family you are comforting

 

[Bunnytus]

TD -- Hugs are wonderful and her tears are cleansing her! Glad to hear you are being an awesome friend!!

Thank you.

I did get to give her a good long tight hug last week as she cried and cried. Plan to talk with her tomorrow and see if she wants to go out for a walk or a cup of tea. Praying for them and loving on them ongoingly i'm guessing is important. My husband is also reaching out to the husband as well.

Thank you all for praying for this dear family. God bless you and yours.