agnostic married to a Christian

[frustrated]

I guess the title says it all. I saw there is a marriage section but felt counseling was more appropriate.

A little background: We have been married 10 years and have 3 children. One of which is from a previous relationship of hers before we met. When we were married we were both Roman Catholic but were not observant. We tried but I didn't want to go. Our ceremony was secular because she was not a confirmed catholic. 4 years ago she became a saved member of a Presbyterian church. Ever since that day there have been struggles and hardship where before there were few. Its now come down to where she doesn't feel safe with me because I am not raising my family the way she would like. I am not saved and am not encouraging our children to be Christians and this is a huge issue for her. We don't hang out anymore. Were never intimate by mutual consent. She feels we have nothing in common and wants Jesus to be what we have in common. I think we have a huge foundation in our history and our beautiful children. I love and cherish my wife and want to grow old and die with her but she is making it very hard. I don't have any faith (in anything supernatural or godly) so I can't be a Christian. So is this fixable? Thanks.

 

[Snowrose]

Dear Frustrated,

I am sorry for taking so long in replying but I wanted to consider this before I replied and at the moment, I wish I had the right words to encourage you. But I didn't want to make you think that you are being ignore. I see that you do love your family very much and I wanted to honour you in that.

In your wife's heart, I am sure she truly wants to do what is right for the children, for she loves them dearly, just as you love them. Living for Jesus ... well... is to get to know Him and grow in Him. His heart is for them and for you as well. He loves you ALL so much... you are dear to His heart.

I want to let you know that, yes, it is fixable. I know that your family is going through a transition but the fruit that comes from this growing season, will depend on you, Frustrated. Every garden needs a lot of care and work. Are you willing to help your family to grow into maturity? Even if it is with Jesus. Don't allow the bitterness or the anger get in... it only causes more harm.

If you don't believe, okay... but be a supporting husband. Love covers everything. My prayers are always with you and your family. I wish you all the best.

Blessings,
Snowrose

 

[frustrated]

Thank you Snowrose. I will continue to love and be supportive of my family. It gets hard though when I am told the only reason she hasn't left is because the bible and her pastor say she shouldn't. You can imagine how hard it hurts to hear that the only thing keeping someone with you is something you don't have a belief in. That doesn't make much of a relationship.

 

[Snowrose]

Dear Frustrated

I can imagine the struggle and the hurt that you are going through but please know that we here on TJ will lift you and your family up in our prayers. I am thankful to hear that your wife is going to a church that is encouraging her to stay in the marriage. It delights my heart also to hear also that you are willing to continue to love and support your family. You are truly a man of valour and integrity.

I will continue to pray to our Heavenly Father "that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you and family with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I will pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3: 15 -19) I pray also that your marriage will be strenghten with love, peace and joy.

You have friends here and if there is any encouragement or counsel you need, just give us a shout any time and we will be there for you. Many blessings to you and your family.

Blessings,
Snowrose