An Honest Question

[Dreamer]

Some people may look at this question and just think it's plain silly. After all, I'm a moderator, so I should have all my priorities in order, right?:embarasse

I don't understand why I have to constantly submit to human authority. I belong to God. He saved my soul and HE is the One who has held my hand, guided me, and healed my mind. He has been everything to me and He always will be.

Seems like lately I'm constantly being asked to submit to human authority (in ministry) when those in authority know less than I do. I won't go in to the details.

It seems like because I'm a woman, the pastor that directs the ministry I'm active in....feels the need to control every move I make. This isn't fair. This same pastor calls my husband and chit-chats with him joyfully and then tells me later what a great husband I have and how excited Jim is about the jail ministry/halfway house ministry.

Jim does not even feel called to be in this ministry. He tells me he just wants to be of support to me. But this pastor won't rest until he gets my husband involved. It's as if me alone isn't good enough. It's as if he doesn't really want a woman to partner with in ministry.

I'm tired, really tired emotionally. I'm tired of being bossed around.

I never had a dad, not really. So all this authority from men is kind of hard for me to take. My dad never said much of anything to me. Sometimes when he did talk to me it wasn't very nice. My dad was mentally ill and not able to parent.

Why do I have to act as if I'm hanging on to every word that my ministry leader says, just because he is a man?

God called me just as He called him. Why is he allowed to treat me like I'm dumb?

 

[Light&salt]

Dear Dreamer, so sad to hear you got a hard time with your pastor in this area. It does not seem right that he should treat you like this. I can put myself in your situation, I do not know my biological father, and my stephdad never cared for me. Never treated me with respect. It's hard to take time and time again. I will pray for you and for your pastor. Would you find a way to talk with your pastor about this directly? Asking him why he treats you like this and what you both can do about it. I think pastors should tend their sheeps dearly, always help them to grow in Christ. Praying for you.

 

[Dreamer]

Hi Light and Salt, hugs to you. I feel better already just reading your response, because you understand how I feel. Thanks

Actually, my own pastor isn't involved in this ministry. It's a jail ministry/halfway house ministry for women. My own pastor is supportive of me but he is very busy with other things.

You are right; I do need to talk to this man frankly. Every time I try to tell him how it make me feel when he treats me as a child, the pastor interrupts me. He seems very controlling. This is distressing to me because to be honest, my husband is rather controlling too.

So I feel boxed in. I love my Lord. My Lord gave me this work to do. Now if I can just keep my mind on Him and sort of....ignore people when they give lots of needless "advice". I like it when I receive advice at talkJesus, because I have found that almost all members here are not judgemental.
However in real life, with real people surrounding me....they seem to sense some weakness in me and want to control me? I have joked around and said that I must wear a sign on my face, saying, "Tell me what to do; I'm dumb!"

God's Word holds everything I need.

Because of God, I now have the opportunity to volunteer at a shelter for 2 hours a day. God opened this door for me directly. Not the ministry leader/pastor. Yet the pastor wants to boss me around about it.

God is my boss. God is my Master. I love Him and He would never direct me wrong.

 

[Faithful Son]

Hi sister, God bless you! It's great being in your presence again. I'd like to give you the following Scripture. Much love, teraside:

2 Corinthians 12:9 (The Message)
7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

 

[Dreamer]

WOW, teraside. You hit the nail right on the head. Thank you, brother. The Holy Spirit directed you to that scripture. Thank You, Jesus.

 

[andrewnicholas]

Your final words - What matters is Jesus - are the most important in your message. I look on this mans attitude as a weakness and as you know we are constantly tried by the weaknesses of others. All our efforts for God are made in the spirit of humility and you are giving from your heart, of your best for Jesus. Throughout the centuries schisms and break aways from institutionalised churches have occurred when we mere mortals disagree on doctrine, method or theology.Most recently there is seemingly worldwide opposition to a degree by men against the growing influence of women in religion. Some men will always be "one of the guys" but this should never, ever mean discrimination against women. I sense your frustration but stand fast , hold to your belief, be humble in the sight of God and trust in Him always to guide you that you will always reflect God's love through your daily endevours.In the end you will prevail.I am sure of it.

Nicholas.

 

[Chad]

I'm sorry of your frustration sister. I'm grateful for the godly advice you've been given here, and the encouragement. Some people such as the pastor you mentioned may be using their authority the wrong way (pride? arrogance?) or just the wrong way but not intentionally with the wrong motives. None of us are perfect, but GOD knows our hearts

I will quote Scripture. This may or may not be on par with the exact situation, but it does regard authority to leaders. Either way, pray for your pastor continually. I'm sure his position is not easy.

Hebrews 13:16-18

16And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. 17Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

18Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way.

 

[monkeys]

Hi Sister Dreamer,

I understand how you are feeling. I have felt this same way before and also struggle with authority as well.

I saw this scripture that may speak to your heart:
Hebrews 13:17:
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

I pray that things will get better. You too should pray about this situation. I don't understand why the pastor is being so controlling of your actions. Maybe you should ask him about that sister!

I pray that everything will go well!

Many Blessings,
monkeys

 

[Dreamer]

I talked to the pastor today before I went to do volunteer work at the shelter. I told him that he talks to me but he doesn't listen to me. I told him that he is not my sole authority, that God is my sole authority.

I kept my voice low, didn't yell...but I was so very angry that my voice was shaking.

After awhile, after I kept talking, talking, talking, and he FINALLY listened, or at least seemed to be.

He prayed a beautiful prayer with me over the phone that helped to give me courage today.

I am so grateful for your advice, thoughts, prayers and Scriptures today in this thread. Thanks again.

Love in Christ,
Dreamer

 

[andrewnicholas]

I am glad to hear progress has been made.Your priorities are right and when your pastor reflects the Holy Spirit will help him change. We are all on a life long pligrimage - we fall, we raise ourselves up but most importantly we learn from our mistakes. I pray this experience helps your pastor grow in faith and love so that he will serve all with equality, humility and justice.

Nicholas.

 

[stephen]

Dear Dreamer......."An honest question"....Absolutely. You have nothing to fear, resent, or take umbrage with. We are serving the Master. The "we" includes you.

Yes we come across folks that are 'not of our spirit'. Caleb had another spirit I recall......."Give me this mountain" At eighty years of age, not a bad request.......and he achieved it. Amen! Keep going Jan.....for Jesus......I know you do!

 

[monkeys]

Dearest Dreamer,

I am so glad that things worked out! Communication is so wonderful!

I pray that things will continue to be better for you in this ministry.

Satan was probably trying to break you down because you were doing something so wonderful for the Lord.

May you be blessed sister!

monkeys

 

[Dreamer]

The Lord is doing great things with people. Yes, it was the enemy. He uses all kinds of things to discourage me, like gettting people to boss me around and make me feel so belittled that I become paralyzed.

Today I take a young lady to a larger shelter in a different county that has shower facilities and is more sanitary. (She is due to give birth in 6 days.) She was addicted to meth and crack until 2 weeks ago and wants to stay off drugs.

Praise God, He is doing wonderful things!!! It is a privilege to be a tiny part of the things He does. I love Him and I want to serve Him in every way, every day.

Every small town should have at least 2 or 3 shelters. My whole county only has two that I know of, and there are several towns in this county. The one where I'm working is an old building, it smells bad, and there are no showers or laundry facilities.

The Lord has told me in the past few weeks that HE WILL be using me to open a new shelter here in my county. So it is no wonder that the devil fights against me. I cannot fight the devil. I can only depend upon Christ.

In the mean time, I am to help the people with the small shelter in the town near by; to learn from them, to be humble, and to work hard.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

You know that the enemy is already a defeated foe. He is under our feet.
He only goes around like a roaring lion as he has no teeth he is harmless.

You are doing so well I am happy to hear that God is using you to do this work for Him.

If God is for us and He is then who is against us. We are stronger because we have Jesus in us.

The battle does indeed belong to the Lord.

God richly bless you dear sister. :rainbow: :rose:

 

[Light&salt]

Dear dreamer, I'm so glad to hear this good report from you. You are doing some great works for the Lord. Keep praying for you.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

[trulyblezzed]

Hi Dreamer Don't be ashamed to voice your frustrations with us. Even though you're a moderator, that doesn't mean you don't have trials too I'm glad to hear progress in your situation. Sometimes I catch myself thinking the same thing of my leaders and I don't want to think that way because that means I'm passing judgement on them I just remind myself that they were put in their positions by God for a reason and obviously God knows a lot of things that we don't! However, don't get discouraged of your current situation. We must learn to follow before we can lead and we must be able to serve before we can be served, right? Humble yourself and you will be exalted sister. God may just be testing you because He wants to make you the head, but He must make sure you're able to submit yourself first Keep us posted :star: