Angry and Hurt? Where do I turn?

[JaneBW]

I have a lot of anger, hurt, and hate in my heart. And its ultimately showing in my spirit. All of this rage and pent up frustration are mostly from encounters of the past. Also these past encounters has affected my future and my whole outlook on life. I have yet to learn how to forgive and forget, I may get the forgive part right but not the forget part (vice versa). I can forgive the person but I will still harp over the situation.
I been having a war with myself for awhile now. And I can no longer keep being at war with myself. I will end up hurting myself if I continue on this path.

I want to ask for help. Can you direct me on where to turn to in the Bible, when I feel like all of this rage, hate, and hurt starts to rise up again and tries to take over me?

 

[Brighthouse]

Dear JaneBW. Do not feel alone!! You sure are not! hatred to most people,is justified anger,Hatred to me is seeing that person dead before you eyes and really not caring!! I had the later for my own father long ago.

First Jane, we must realize something very inportant,as right as you may be in your anger or even hatred for that person,it does you personal no good at all! No one has to tell you this,you have found this out already! I have learned 3 main steps to forgiveness.

1. Matt 18:21-35 fact here.what we remember we choose to remember,we have the right to do this,but in so doing we set ourselves apart from our Lord. As you read here. 2. Since we really want to be healed of all this mess we are required to do something as well,many say well I just give it to Jesus,but many who say such things can be heard later as being hurt or angry still towards the person in question.

And saying bad, but even truthful things,leads to still feeling no better! I sure did not! So now we have to do something that will work!! We have to first decide!! How bad do we really want to get rid of all this pain? To do this,we must renew our very mind in the Word.(Rom 12:1-2)

We have to replace the bad thoughts, with good ones,even if there is but one good memory you have of that person! ( Philippians 4:8) We can have no peace until we do this.Finally 3. You will know when you have done this!! because you will pray for that person! Even if that person is deceased like my dad was. I said Lord,I forgive him even as you have forgiven me,I take no part in bad words against him anymore,I am looking unto you,not anyone else for my peace and strength.

( john 14:27) arrives then!! Now with peace,hope can spring forth in you,( rom 15:13) Hope because we have done the right thing!! We have forgiven,and thereby we are also forgiven! Confidence in prayer now comes,and with this,Jesus mends both your heart and your mind in him! The tongue is the rudder for our life,it can unleash healing, or sickness both to that person as well as ourselves.

So guard your tongue well!( please read James the 3rd chapter)then 4 to know its causes and consequences,and finally 4:7-10 the cure! I am showing you scripture a lot yes! Because my dear sister I cannot help you,nor can anyone in this area of life,this is between you and your new relationship with the Lord I know you care for and love!

My this help and bless you in everyway,even as Jesus has so helped me in this area!! Some may think that one person is better then another.NOPE!!( rom 2:11 and acts 10:34 both say the our God is no repecter of any persons!! He loves you as much as me! But you have to decide something.will you give Jesus all of yourself?

Or keep with drawing a part of yourself he needs to set you free in him? This my sister only you can decide. I can tell you,that through all the pain I had in this same area,it is so worth it now!! Blessing to you from both our Jesus and me in him!! amen!

 

[j_sp]

JaneBW,

There are many stories throughout the Bible that covers what you're dealing with. The thing to understand is most often there is a root of something that has taken place within the heart from these past experiences, which have opened the door to other ways of responding that lead to sin (unforgiveness, bitterness, rage, anger, etc.). The root that usually derives from these struggles that you're describing is...rejection of some sort. The root is what you need to go after, then the others will fall (Matt. 12:29) - meaning, the other things you're dealing with won't have a hold as easily and you can address them and get rid of their holds on you also.

This could be a rejection from others that has occurred and even a rejection of oneself (which could lead to blame and shame in the heart also); and worse yet, this can also drive us away from the Lord (rejecting Him) when it is not dealt with fully and completely. I would suggest going through the Scriptures below with the Lord, and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what He would like you to know and understand. In addition, how to go about healing with Him, by His leading so that you can be delivered from these effects of these wounds in the heart. I can also suggest a couple of books you may want to do a study through, along with the Scriptures, regarding rejection: "Overcoming Rejection," by Frank Hammond or "God's Remedy for Rejection," by Derek Prince. Pray about it and see if this is what the Lord may be leading you into for the next place He'd like you to go with Him, in being free from this.

Unforgiveness can hinder prayers: Isa. 59:2; Matt. 6:14,15; the Lord's prayer (Matt. 6:9-13) sets us up into understanding how the Lord expects us to pray and what is important to do, in order to get the help we need from the Lord without hindrances - because we've forgiven others (it will keep us from being led into temptations...that would be also in experiencing the same response as you've always had in the past (true repentance or change of heart) - "lead us not into temptations" - in addition, it also helps in getting the deliverance we need (or healing) in the Lord "and deliver us from evil." If we have unforgiveness, then it's difficult to hear clearly what the Lord is leading you to do by His Spirit because our heart is not lined up with Him (hence we need to examine ourselves and repent by turning to the Lord to lead us...Prov. 3:5-6; 2 Cor. 13:5; Lam. 3:40; Jer. 17:10; Rom. 8:27; Ps. 139:23).

Jesus' parable about forgiveness: Matt. 18:21-35

The effects of not fully forgiving someone...it will continue to be carried on in your life even to the present: John 20:23

Unforgiveness can cause you to be a stumbling block to others and in your own walk with the Lord: ie. Eph. 6:4; Eph. 4:31; Mark 11:25-26

Unforgiveness gives a foothold to the enemy in your life: 2 Cor. 2:7-11; Eph. 4:26-27

How God describes forgiveness: Isa. 43:25; Ps. 103:12

Also, it may be helpful to read the stories about Joseph and how he was treated by his brothers, was treated unjustly, and overcame it. There's also the story of Job and how his friends treated him in his times of need, but he looked to the Lord. And, also how Jesus treated Peter after he forsook Him at the time of the crucifixion.

It is also helpful to understand that it is not your job to take revenge on another, but God's (Rom. 12:19-21; Deut. 32:35). And, the Lord looks at the heart, and if you're truly walking rightly with Him by His leading, then He will take care of you and help you through what is necessary for your good. It's not good for your own relationship with Him, to carry all that around. Allow the Holy Spirit to assist you through this healing process completely and fully.

j_sp

 

[lizabe]

Suggestion

Dear Jane
My suggestion would be to read Psalms 145 which is about praising God
for God dwells with those who priase Him. And the presence of God will help you to be calm and at peace and begin to diminish all your anger and hurt.

God bless you

 

[Trevor]

I have a lot of anger, hurt, and hate in my heart. And its ultimately showing in my spirit. All of this rage and pent up frustration are mostly from encounters of the past. Also these past encounters has affected my future and my whole outlook on life. I have yet to learn how to forgive and forget, I may get the forgive part right but not the forget part (vice versa). I can forgive the person but I will still harp over the situation.
I been having a war with myself for awhile now. And I can no longer keep being at war with myself. I will end up hurting myself if I continue on this path.

I want to ask for help. Can you direct me on where to turn to in the Bible, when I feel like all of this rage, hate, and hurt starts to rise up again and tries to take over me?

I don't know if this will help Jane, A friend of mine had lost his wife to another man and was voicing how he hated this man and under no circumstances could he find it in himself to love him. My friend Brian said "your are thinking of loving him with the wrong kind of love." Well, I was intrigued, I only thought there was one kind. Brian explained that there were three loves Eros, filial and agape. Eros, the love of a man for a woman, Filial, the love for friends and family and Agape, the love of obedience to God. Then he asked Andy what he would do if Martin, who was the man in question, came to him starving and asked him for food. Andy thought for a while and said, "well I'd give him something to eat. That is Agape love the love of obedience to God. I don't know if that helps Jane. but bless you.