People sometimes perceive Christians to be rather unpleasant. Christians are either too soft (softies, push-overs) or they are intolerant buffalo’s (obnoxious, fundamentalists). Granted, sometimes these are unfair accusations of people who maybe feel a little convicted because the Christian dares to choose to follow the straight and narrow path. But unfortunately these descriptions of Christians are very often true … Christians shouldn’t fit either of these descriptions, but radiate a spirit of love, faith and trust – without compromising their principles.
1. If somebody has a problem with you, try to be objective about it. Don’t just accept there is something wrong with you – discern whether the problem doesn’t lie with the other person. If not – make an effort to improve yourself. The opposite is also true – don’t always think the problem lies with other people.
2. If your friend dislikes somebody, don’t just decide it is an unpleasant person and write him off before you even get to know him. Form your own opinion. Hard as it may be to accept this possibility - maybe your friend is jealous of the other person or maybe they had a misunderstanding.
3. Don’t try to please everybody. Accept the fact that everybody won’t like you or what you believe in. Live unashamedly according to your principles.
4. Don’t be afraid to say what you think or believe about something. People form each other by hearing different opinions. But you must also be willing to listen to óther people’s opinions without running them or their opinions down or to try at all cost to convince them of your viewpoint. Remember – it doesn’t help if you win the argument, but loose the person!
5. Don’t be afraid to say it if you don’t know something. The moment you become a Christian you don’t just suddenly know everything. There is unfortunately (or fortunately …?) things that we will only fully understand the day that Jesus returns. Be honest about your shortcomings while you are joyful about the fact that God uses you despite your mistakes. This is the very reason why God’s grace is so amazing – it is not yóú who are so wonderful, it is Hé who is so wonderful!
6. Be honest when you give compliments or words of encouragement. People quickly realise when somebody is false, or just says something to make you feel better. After a while they might not believe what you say anymore.
7. Realise that a person’s personality, background, culture, education, age and friends have a huge influence on how you see life and communicate to other people. Try to look beyond the differences to the potential that lies beyond the differences - as it is with you. We are sometimes so eager to expect others to accept us like we are, but are you willing to accept óther people just as they are?
8. Not to conform to the standards of this world is good and biblical. But to be cross-grained and always take an opposite opinion just to be different, is pushing it too far. Your standards should be those of the Bible, not just different for the case of being “different”!
9. That also goes for “social rules”. Remember, not all social rules are bad. Always act as the situation or culture demands (without sacrificing your principles!). It shows that you respect the people in your company. To show respect is a different way of showing love.
10. If you see sin in somebody else’s life, you must be careful not to hate the person but the sin. There is hope for áll sinners – as there was hope for you when you still lived in sin. One will convince view unbelievers of God’s love by telling them how wrong all their deeds are. By showing me love in spite of …, people win my respect much quicker than when they critisize me.
If you are sure that your communication style is above reproach, remember John 15:18 - 21: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master'. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.”
1. If somebody has a problem with you, try to be objective about it. Don’t just accept there is something wrong with you – discern whether the problem doesn’t lie with the other person. If not – make an effort to improve yourself. The opposite is also true – don’t always think the problem lies with other people.
2. If your friend dislikes somebody, don’t just decide it is an unpleasant person and write him off before you even get to know him. Form your own opinion. Hard as it may be to accept this possibility - maybe your friend is jealous of the other person or maybe they had a misunderstanding.
3. Don’t try to please everybody. Accept the fact that everybody won’t like you or what you believe in. Live unashamedly according to your principles.
4. Don’t be afraid to say what you think or believe about something. People form each other by hearing different opinions. But you must also be willing to listen to óther people’s opinions without running them or their opinions down or to try at all cost to convince them of your viewpoint. Remember – it doesn’t help if you win the argument, but loose the person!
5. Don’t be afraid to say it if you don’t know something. The moment you become a Christian you don’t just suddenly know everything. There is unfortunately (or fortunately …?) things that we will only fully understand the day that Jesus returns. Be honest about your shortcomings while you are joyful about the fact that God uses you despite your mistakes. This is the very reason why God’s grace is so amazing – it is not yóú who are so wonderful, it is Hé who is so wonderful!
6. Be honest when you give compliments or words of encouragement. People quickly realise when somebody is false, or just says something to make you feel better. After a while they might not believe what you say anymore.
7. Realise that a person’s personality, background, culture, education, age and friends have a huge influence on how you see life and communicate to other people. Try to look beyond the differences to the potential that lies beyond the differences - as it is with you. We are sometimes so eager to expect others to accept us like we are, but are you willing to accept óther people just as they are?
8. Not to conform to the standards of this world is good and biblical. But to be cross-grained and always take an opposite opinion just to be different, is pushing it too far. Your standards should be those of the Bible, not just different for the case of being “different”!
9. That also goes for “social rules”. Remember, not all social rules are bad. Always act as the situation or culture demands (without sacrificing your principles!). It shows that you respect the people in your company. To show respect is a different way of showing love.
10. If you see sin in somebody else’s life, you must be careful not to hate the person but the sin. There is hope for áll sinners – as there was hope for you when you still lived in sin. One will convince view unbelievers of God’s love by telling them how wrong all their deeds are. By showing me love in spite of …, people win my respect much quicker than when they critisize me.
If you are sure that your communication style is above reproach, remember John 15:18 - 21: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master'. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.”
