First off, I want to thank the Lord that I've found a forum without all the profanity and everything else that seems to pervade the Internet. It's very comforting to know that I can come here and pour my heart out to those who care.
I am a freshman at Texas A&M University. I'm in the Aggie Band in the Corps of Cadets. The college experience has been totally new to me and it's taken a while for me to adjust and find my own 'groove' to settle in to. All the physical training and school can be overwhelming at times, but pretty much all through this semester, I've been stressed by stuff going on at home.
Spring and I first started dating in August of 2004. I was a junior in high school and she was a freshman. We were both sort of new to dating and she was new to high school. We dated for just over a year before she felt we should just be friends. Reason being, she felt that when she was with me, she forgot about everything else and pretty much totally spaced out. We also didn't conduct ourselves in the best manner. There were often times when we would spend our attention totally on each other, while everything else seemed to be blocked out. That’s probably what brought about the ‘collapse’. I wish that hadn’t happened, that we had considered the impact of our actions on others, but it’s in the past and the best I can to is to learn from the past. However, the problems with her family have still continued.
I started out taking her to church. That was one main point my parents stressed and I agreed wholeheartedly. At first, her parents seemed to be okay with it. See, her mom and dad weren’t atheists, they just didn’t care. (I think that’s agnostic, but whatever.) Near the end of our relationship, her mom started limiting that aspect. She forbid Spring to go to church with me, but Spring was able to go with one of her friends to their church. I was glad that Spring was still at least getting some teaching of the Word. After a while, however, her mom told her she couldn’t go to church with her friend either. It also seemed that whenever Spring tried to talk about going to church or ‘religion’ in general, her mom brought up that fact that she had read about the different types of religion and made a decision for herself. Spring also told me that her grandmother told her sort of the same thing. Note: Everyone reading this, please keep in mind that this is what Spring told me. When I’ve asked for advice from my dad, he has said to keep in mind that this is only one point of view. Also, I don’t feel exactly the same emotions as I did back then, so pretty much
The main issue that I’m asking for advice on in this post is pretty much a summation of the last half of this year. With me being a freshman in college and Spring a junior in high school, we’re more separated than we’ve ever been. My hometown is about 2 hours away. It’s pretty close, but it still feels like lightyears apart. Through out the family trip in the summer, she had almost constant friction with her family. Her younger brother gets on her nerves real easily, which causes her parents to get onto her. There also seems to be a void between her and her parents, mainly her mom. What’s really scared me is when she’s said that she can’t wait to go to college, that she can’t wait to ‘get out of here’. There’s also another thing to consider. She has her mind made up that, when we both get through college, (she wants to be a vet, so that might take a bit longer) we’re going to get married. The way it seems to me that she looks at it is that she expects us being married to solve everything. I still care very deeply for her, and I do want to end up marrying her, but at this point in time, I’m concerned about keeping my grades up. I’ve seen some of college life, where it’s okay to have sex whenever you want and it’s okay to have multiple girlfriends. Thankfully, I’ve steered very clear of all of that. Being in the Corps has taken up a huge portion of my time. My main goal for her right now is to do what I can to close the gap in her family. I want to have a very strong relationship with her family, and right now, it seems like I’m an outlaw, so to speak. She’s said her parents aren’t comfortable with her emailing me, but she’s still emailed me anyway. Of course, I was very confused when she told me that her mom wanted her to ask me to get her a t-shirt from the mall there. For one thing, her parents wanted her to contact me when they had pretty much said that they didn’t want her to email me. All in all, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions.
The last thing is the past few emails we've exchanged. She sent me the song “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder. I read the lyrics as I listened to it and some things didn’t quite settle with me. Mainly how the singer pined for the girl even though he was already in another relationship. I told Spring how I felt on that and she replied with “I was thinking of the song with you on one side & my family on the other”. What frustrates me is that pretty much only one line in the song seems to correspond with that. There have been many times during the year where I’ve felt like this, where I so desperately wanted to do something to help her, where every fiber in my being cried out for some solution to make it all go away.
This, in a nutshell, is why I’m at the end of my rope and why I feel powerless. I hope I’ve given enough information where someone might offer some help. She looks to me for answers, and I almost go crazy, because I have none. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. Please pray for me, Spring, and her family if nothing else. That’s probably what we need more than anything.
I am a freshman at Texas A&M University. I'm in the Aggie Band in the Corps of Cadets. The college experience has been totally new to me and it's taken a while for me to adjust and find my own 'groove' to settle in to. All the physical training and school can be overwhelming at times, but pretty much all through this semester, I've been stressed by stuff going on at home.
Spring and I first started dating in August of 2004. I was a junior in high school and she was a freshman. We were both sort of new to dating and she was new to high school. We dated for just over a year before she felt we should just be friends. Reason being, she felt that when she was with me, she forgot about everything else and pretty much totally spaced out. We also didn't conduct ourselves in the best manner. There were often times when we would spend our attention totally on each other, while everything else seemed to be blocked out. That’s probably what brought about the ‘collapse’. I wish that hadn’t happened, that we had considered the impact of our actions on others, but it’s in the past and the best I can to is to learn from the past. However, the problems with her family have still continued.
I started out taking her to church. That was one main point my parents stressed and I agreed wholeheartedly. At first, her parents seemed to be okay with it. See, her mom and dad weren’t atheists, they just didn’t care. (I think that’s agnostic, but whatever.) Near the end of our relationship, her mom started limiting that aspect. She forbid Spring to go to church with me, but Spring was able to go with one of her friends to their church. I was glad that Spring was still at least getting some teaching of the Word. After a while, however, her mom told her she couldn’t go to church with her friend either. It also seemed that whenever Spring tried to talk about going to church or ‘religion’ in general, her mom brought up that fact that she had read about the different types of religion and made a decision for herself. Spring also told me that her grandmother told her sort of the same thing. Note: Everyone reading this, please keep in mind that this is what Spring told me. When I’ve asked for advice from my dad, he has said to keep in mind that this is only one point of view. Also, I don’t feel exactly the same emotions as I did back then, so pretty much
The main issue that I’m asking for advice on in this post is pretty much a summation of the last half of this year. With me being a freshman in college and Spring a junior in high school, we’re more separated than we’ve ever been. My hometown is about 2 hours away. It’s pretty close, but it still feels like lightyears apart. Through out the family trip in the summer, she had almost constant friction with her family. Her younger brother gets on her nerves real easily, which causes her parents to get onto her. There also seems to be a void between her and her parents, mainly her mom. What’s really scared me is when she’s said that she can’t wait to go to college, that she can’t wait to ‘get out of here’. There’s also another thing to consider. She has her mind made up that, when we both get through college, (she wants to be a vet, so that might take a bit longer) we’re going to get married. The way it seems to me that she looks at it is that she expects us being married to solve everything. I still care very deeply for her, and I do want to end up marrying her, but at this point in time, I’m concerned about keeping my grades up. I’ve seen some of college life, where it’s okay to have sex whenever you want and it’s okay to have multiple girlfriends. Thankfully, I’ve steered very clear of all of that. Being in the Corps has taken up a huge portion of my time. My main goal for her right now is to do what I can to close the gap in her family. I want to have a very strong relationship with her family, and right now, it seems like I’m an outlaw, so to speak. She’s said her parents aren’t comfortable with her emailing me, but she’s still emailed me anyway. Of course, I was very confused when she told me that her mom wanted her to ask me to get her a t-shirt from the mall there. For one thing, her parents wanted her to contact me when they had pretty much said that they didn’t want her to email me. All in all, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions.
The last thing is the past few emails we've exchanged. She sent me the song “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder. I read the lyrics as I listened to it and some things didn’t quite settle with me. Mainly how the singer pined for the girl even though he was already in another relationship. I told Spring how I felt on that and she replied with “I was thinking of the song with you on one side & my family on the other”. What frustrates me is that pretty much only one line in the song seems to correspond with that. There have been many times during the year where I’ve felt like this, where I so desperately wanted to do something to help her, where every fiber in my being cried out for some solution to make it all go away.
This, in a nutshell, is why I’m at the end of my rope and why I feel powerless. I hope I’ve given enough information where someone might offer some help. She looks to me for answers, and I almost go crazy, because I have none. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. Please pray for me, Spring, and her family if nothing else. That’s probably what we need more than anything.
Welcome to Talk Jesus, you have a quite a story here, I must admit it's really sad. Let me start off by saying I will pray for you and I am a South African, so I really don't have a clue about American practices in school or college.
