first off, i wanna say it happens to everyone. the only refrence i can find in scripture of someone who stayed in total and constant fellowship with the LORD is enoch. i think thats how you spell his name. but God is good. never will he leave us, never will he forsake us, and no human or creature on earth can deliver that. thats what keeps me keeping at it. just knowing he will never lie to me, or cheat me, and no matter what... he will do good for me, even when i dont, he is Faithful and True. the bible tells us the only reason we would want to obey is because God makes us want to. there is nothing good in the flesh, and the flesh opposes the spirit, so just hearing you say your walk is off and on tells me God is dealing with you already and causing you to desire a closer walk with him. you should pray about this and not take it lightly. the enemy wants to stop you from being in the light. he wouldnt be attacking you out of boredom. try this, the next time the enemy comes at you say you thank God for trials and keep on prasing him even try quoting scriptures like this one... revelations 20:10 And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever. he hates that one. he may attack harder so be ready. here are some more scriptures that came to mind upon reading your request.
1 Tim 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you are also called, and have professed a good profession before many witnesses.
hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares
us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of
our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 thess 5:17 pray without ceasing
God loves you.
edit part: yes it is supposed to be this hard. the war is for the souls of man, in this case your own. eph 6:10-18
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[
a] against spiritual
hosts of wickedness in the heavenly
places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—
and the attacks go away. It's getting really tiring but I'm not giving up
