Any encouragement for burnout and depression? I am married x 30 years. I have struggled with depression since early teen years. I have had four children. I never really wanted to work outside the home. I had a driven type A mom. She almost had to be because my dad was the opposite and was mostly concerned with himself and his needs, disregarding mom's and our needs. The reason I mention this is because as an example, I have always felt the stay at home mom is "less than" or weak. Despite that, I worked only part time when the kids were young and never really knew what I wanted to do. I've had some basic community college and have worked my way up the ladder in the Long Term Care industry. Somehow, I always wind up getting to a point I don't want to be. The last two prior to me were essentially fired. Now I'm feeling alone, pressure, fear of failure to the point I neglect myself and my marriage and my home to some extent to put all my energy into the job. It has become sort of my identity. I would love to back off, or work part time and spend more time nurturing friendships and being more involved in church or small groups. I feel like I could actually use a couple years off. I am almost paralyzed once home because there is so much to do and I'm tired. My husband's job is easy and he has so much time off. He is not concerned with my problem. Because it's my problem. He just puts pressure on me because his needs aren't met. He cooks, and makes a big mess that he doesn't clean up. And he fishes, and watches baseball, and drinks and calls himself a Christian. Hasn't been to a church service in years. I know I need to draw close to God and that all these things will pass away. I know this intellectually but just stuck. We can't financially allow me to not work FT and make decent money. My husband sees his money as his. He is paying the bulk of the bills. My debt is my debt. I pay the phone, TV, a loan and grocery. Otherwise, my money is eaten up in credit card debt. From helping the kids I have parent plus student loans, and helping with car repairs and other expenses. Not to mention our son recovering from addiction has taken quite a bit of money. Well, I don't know the answer. It seems that I must suffer. I find it frustrating that I don't fit in anywhere in the church. Most women are mothers at home or homeschooling. Bible studies are often weekdays. I feel I am just getting from work to home and back again to keep up with bills never really making headway. Uhhg!
