brokenwing
Member
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2014
- Messages
- 5
Hi all, so this is a little un-like me, and I am still very new to the site, but after spending a great deal of time reading through a lot of the forums I have decided to bring this before all of you, not to mention Galatians 6:2 nagging at me to open up and let believers help encourage and carry burdens,
I appreciate and thank anyone willing to prayerfully help me with this, i know it is long.
First and foremost I want to let it be known that this is something that I have lifted up in prayer on a pretty regular basis. Having said that I guess I need to explain what it is that is going on.
So for the last three years or so my younger adult brother has been having some kind of issue (I usually attribute it to some kind of mental issue though truth be told I have absolutely no idea what is going on because he refuses to see a professional of any kind). During this time he has moved back home (a household with my mother, father, and myself) from his school in New Orleans, LA. Though we knew that something was going on with him it became very apparent when he came home. He started having violent fits coupled with delusions that we were getting inside his head to manipulate his thoughts and movements. (it’s worth mentioning that he also smokes high amounts of weed) (it is also worth mentioning that he and his roommate were both hearing “taunting” voices in his dorm room, the story has changed on this but the core that doesn’t change is “taunting” voices) He became worse and worse as time went on going from screaming matches to throwing and breaking household items like microwaves, lamps, mirror, etc. to throwing things at people, to the most recent physical (fist) violence. This all peeked a few months ago when he attacked my dad, dislocated my father’s shoulder and landed himself with two broken fingers. (My dad refused to press charges) A week later he attacked me I did call the cops to which he responded to by pulling a knife (granted it was a butter knife) when the police got there I did press charges, and they did take him for a psych evaluation. The thing with him though is he can turn it on and off when he feels he needs to or wants to so he was released after the minimum hold. Since then things went back to the first stage of all of this, but are progressing in the same way as they were before.
Needless to say this has been a great difficulty on my family, really it has torn them apart. Again it is probably worth mentioning that I am the only believer in my family. My father has lost his job in this time span, my parent relationship is really not good (the tension is palpable)
In addition I have been having been having a struggle in my walk with Christ, which makes since, I mean there is clearly some kind of attack going on in my household. Thing is I was not plugged into a church for a whole year of this, I am now, but an upward solo climb is a difficult one let alone with an attack.
Ok finally getting to the point here I promise.
What I need help or advice with.
1. Anything that could help me with my brother, truly I am at a loss, I consistently pray for the situation and will defiantly continue to and ask for everyone reading to please add him to your prayer list.
2. Really though I am not putting up this post for him but for me. If I am being really real with you guys my walk is not ok. I am not ok. I do not blame God for this, I am past that, but I am trying to reconcile what has happened to me the last 3ish years with what God has to say about it. It is really hard to find, a lot of what I have gone through falls under what most would consider abuse, but I know there is something wrong with my brother…it’s kind of a torn emotion. I am constantly in bouts of desperately crying out for God for his love, and protection (mind you not like normal crying out but it’s not there, like it’s gone away and I need it back crying out like seriously pathetically desperate) to understanding completely that God is constant and is the same yesterday today and tomorrow.
I think what happens is I get really spiritually fatigued if that’s even a thing.
I really appreciate all of your prayers and advice
I appreciate and thank anyone willing to prayerfully help me with this, i know it is long.
First and foremost I want to let it be known that this is something that I have lifted up in prayer on a pretty regular basis. Having said that I guess I need to explain what it is that is going on.
So for the last three years or so my younger adult brother has been having some kind of issue (I usually attribute it to some kind of mental issue though truth be told I have absolutely no idea what is going on because he refuses to see a professional of any kind). During this time he has moved back home (a household with my mother, father, and myself) from his school in New Orleans, LA. Though we knew that something was going on with him it became very apparent when he came home. He started having violent fits coupled with delusions that we were getting inside his head to manipulate his thoughts and movements. (it’s worth mentioning that he also smokes high amounts of weed) (it is also worth mentioning that he and his roommate were both hearing “taunting” voices in his dorm room, the story has changed on this but the core that doesn’t change is “taunting” voices) He became worse and worse as time went on going from screaming matches to throwing and breaking household items like microwaves, lamps, mirror, etc. to throwing things at people, to the most recent physical (fist) violence. This all peeked a few months ago when he attacked my dad, dislocated my father’s shoulder and landed himself with two broken fingers. (My dad refused to press charges) A week later he attacked me I did call the cops to which he responded to by pulling a knife (granted it was a butter knife) when the police got there I did press charges, and they did take him for a psych evaluation. The thing with him though is he can turn it on and off when he feels he needs to or wants to so he was released after the minimum hold. Since then things went back to the first stage of all of this, but are progressing in the same way as they were before.
Needless to say this has been a great difficulty on my family, really it has torn them apart. Again it is probably worth mentioning that I am the only believer in my family. My father has lost his job in this time span, my parent relationship is really not good (the tension is palpable)
In addition I have been having been having a struggle in my walk with Christ, which makes since, I mean there is clearly some kind of attack going on in my household. Thing is I was not plugged into a church for a whole year of this, I am now, but an upward solo climb is a difficult one let alone with an attack.
Ok finally getting to the point here I promise.
What I need help or advice with.
1. Anything that could help me with my brother, truly I am at a loss, I consistently pray for the situation and will defiantly continue to and ask for everyone reading to please add him to your prayer list.
2. Really though I am not putting up this post for him but for me. If I am being really real with you guys my walk is not ok. I am not ok. I do not blame God for this, I am past that, but I am trying to reconcile what has happened to me the last 3ish years with what God has to say about it. It is really hard to find, a lot of what I have gone through falls under what most would consider abuse, but I know there is something wrong with my brother…it’s kind of a torn emotion. I am constantly in bouts of desperately crying out for God for his love, and protection (mind you not like normal crying out but it’s not there, like it’s gone away and I need it back crying out like seriously pathetically desperate) to understanding completely that God is constant and is the same yesterday today and tomorrow.
I think what happens is I get really spiritually fatigued if that’s even a thing.
I really appreciate all of your prayers and advice