Copyright 2012
To preface: This is a poem which I wrote, but also an account of a vision that God swept me into one summer day in 2011. It was at at time when I was struggling with a sense of being weighed down by my past and feeling as if I could never be effective in any sort of ministry because of the mistakes I had made. I had found myself asking God "I can't do it; I'm too filthy," and so this came to me as His response. I was sitting in a chair in a campsite at a Christian music festival when this happened.
---------------------------------------------------------
Stuck on the floor, bound by a chain
Unable to get up or move
Alone, afraid, and in searing pain
No one around, nothing to soothe
My gaze shifted from here to there
Taking in the view of the room
All that I saw seemed to declare
I was in a public restroom
Blood covered the walls and sink
The toilet, the stall, and the floor
The air was ripe with putrid stink
As light shown through an open door
“Where did this blood come from?” I cried
While my lips never made a sound
“Someone find me!” I begged inside
Certain that I’d never be found
Panic rose and fear settled in
My heart pounded inside my chest
My breathing began to quicken
As my mind searched but found no rest
I closed my eyes, wishing I’d die
So deafening the silence screamed
I opened my mouth, tried to cry
But my voice failed, so mute I seemed
I struggled, fought, pulled at the chain
But it was strong, and I was frail
Thus my effort was all in vain
I was powerless to prevail
So I sat, face in blood-soaked hands
Weighed down by shame and agony
I had inside no strength to stand
It could not be found within me
I dug deep and tried to recall
How it was I had gotten there
But found no answer, none at all
Save the silence that filled the air
Just how long had I been captive
Shackled, held fast, chained to the floor?
My memory, so elusive
Could have been a lifetime or more
Was it possible, could it be
That I would never leave this place?
The very thought of being free
Was like a name without a face
How I wished I could simply stand
And see what lied outside the door
Or for someone to lend a hand
And help me get up off the floor
But I knew deep within my heart
That nobody would ever come
And that when the light turned to dark
Darkness is what I would become
I collapsed, I gave up, I caved in
Head bowed low in deepest sorrow
Realizing that this was my end
I would never see tomorrow
Then I heard, coming from outside
Like the sound of deliverance
The faint echo of footsteps cried
Drawing closer, closing distance
In He walked, robed in brightest white
Hope resounding with every step
From Him shone forth brilliant light
Penetrating darkness and death
I watched with shock and deepest awe
As all the blood was drawn to Him
As it absorbed into His cloth
It did not stain, it did not dim
He turned, our eyes interlocking
And to my greatest disbelief
To where I was He came walking
With His hand extended to me
With every ounce of strength, behold
I reached up and took hold of Him
Water, beautiful water, flowed
Coming from the hole in His hand
As He pulled me up to my feet
The chain around my ankle broke
My clothes turned from black to white, clean
As I was overwhelmed with hope
He reached His hand behind His back
And brought forth a robe like His own
Not a single trait did it lack
For from it beautiful light shown
As He placed the robe around me
I felt alive, no longer dead
Peace resonated throughout me
As He looked me in the eye and said
“This… this is your new purity
That I am now clothing you with
Don’t take it off, don’t get it dirty
For it is a most precious gift.”
Then, like the sound of great wind blow
The entire room fell aside
The walls and floor vanished below
As I soared upward toward the sky
Surrounded by brilliant light
Spectrums I’d never seen before
Oh, what a most marvelous sight
Beautiful colors evermore
I found myself gasping, breathless
Resting in massive arms of love
Sheltered, no longer defenseless
In this great fortress here above
And I knew from that point forward
That in His arms is where I’d be
This I knew, He was my reward
And then I knew I’d been set free
To preface: This is a poem which I wrote, but also an account of a vision that God swept me into one summer day in 2011. It was at at time when I was struggling with a sense of being weighed down by my past and feeling as if I could never be effective in any sort of ministry because of the mistakes I had made. I had found myself asking God "I can't do it; I'm too filthy," and so this came to me as His response. I was sitting in a chair in a campsite at a Christian music festival when this happened.
---------------------------------------------------------
Stuck on the floor, bound by a chain
Unable to get up or move
Alone, afraid, and in searing pain
No one around, nothing to soothe
My gaze shifted from here to there
Taking in the view of the room
All that I saw seemed to declare
I was in a public restroom
Blood covered the walls and sink
The toilet, the stall, and the floor
The air was ripe with putrid stink
As light shown through an open door
“Where did this blood come from?” I cried
While my lips never made a sound
“Someone find me!” I begged inside
Certain that I’d never be found
Panic rose and fear settled in
My heart pounded inside my chest
My breathing began to quicken
As my mind searched but found no rest
I closed my eyes, wishing I’d die
So deafening the silence screamed
I opened my mouth, tried to cry
But my voice failed, so mute I seemed
I struggled, fought, pulled at the chain
But it was strong, and I was frail
Thus my effort was all in vain
I was powerless to prevail
So I sat, face in blood-soaked hands
Weighed down by shame and agony
I had inside no strength to stand
It could not be found within me
I dug deep and tried to recall
How it was I had gotten there
But found no answer, none at all
Save the silence that filled the air
Just how long had I been captive
Shackled, held fast, chained to the floor?
My memory, so elusive
Could have been a lifetime or more
Was it possible, could it be
That I would never leave this place?
The very thought of being free
Was like a name without a face
How I wished I could simply stand
And see what lied outside the door
Or for someone to lend a hand
And help me get up off the floor
But I knew deep within my heart
That nobody would ever come
And that when the light turned to dark
Darkness is what I would become
I collapsed, I gave up, I caved in
Head bowed low in deepest sorrow
Realizing that this was my end
I would never see tomorrow
Then I heard, coming from outside
Like the sound of deliverance
The faint echo of footsteps cried
Drawing closer, closing distance
In He walked, robed in brightest white
Hope resounding with every step
From Him shone forth brilliant light
Penetrating darkness and death
I watched with shock and deepest awe
As all the blood was drawn to Him
As it absorbed into His cloth
It did not stain, it did not dim
He turned, our eyes interlocking
And to my greatest disbelief
To where I was He came walking
With His hand extended to me
With every ounce of strength, behold
I reached up and took hold of Him
Water, beautiful water, flowed
Coming from the hole in His hand
As He pulled me up to my feet
The chain around my ankle broke
My clothes turned from black to white, clean
As I was overwhelmed with hope
He reached His hand behind His back
And brought forth a robe like His own
Not a single trait did it lack
For from it beautiful light shown
As He placed the robe around me
I felt alive, no longer dead
Peace resonated throughout me
As He looked me in the eye and said
“This… this is your new purity
That I am now clothing you with
Don’t take it off, don’t get it dirty
For it is a most precious gift.”
Then, like the sound of great wind blow
The entire room fell aside
The walls and floor vanished below
As I soared upward toward the sky
Surrounded by brilliant light
Spectrums I’d never seen before
Oh, what a most marvelous sight
Beautiful colors evermore
I found myself gasping, breathless
Resting in massive arms of love
Sheltered, no longer defenseless
In this great fortress here above
And I knew from that point forward
That in His arms is where I’d be
This I knew, He was my reward
And then I knew I’d been set free
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