thank you.
It just condemmned me.
I feel disgusting dirty and rotten as a person.
I think that is how the Holy Spirit began work on me when I first turned my life over to Jesus.
The first thing I began to notice is that I became disgusted by the sin in my life - how I talked, how I acted. It became putrid to me. Then I began to change it.
That's a good sign that the Lord is working in your heart. Go with that feeling and turn from the actions that disgust you about your old self.
And when thoughts creep in - and they WILL - that are sinful, I step back and say "I rebuke this thought in the name of Jesus". And I CHOOSE to turn my attention elsewhere instead of going ahead and wallowing in that sinful thought, though wallowing in it may be emotionally enjoyable in my flesh.
When I noticed a good looking stranger, I rebuked the thought and stopped LOOKING at the attractive person. I'm married. I made a vow. I made a decision and I'm standing by that decision no matter how tempting something else might look.
Seeing someone who is attractive to you is a natural thing and isn't wrong. But when you choose to KEEP looking, add sinful thoughts, and revel in those sinful thoughts and imaginings, or worse - ACT on them, that's when you have sinned.
It begins in your thought life.
Choose to tell your SELF no. It's about self control. It's about making a decision and standing by it. It is about being faithful to your Lord and Savior and doing what is honorable in His sight. He is your Heavenly husband and wants your faithfulness. And that is also being faithful to yourself. You are hurt terribly in your heart when you do these things.
Your struggle is between your flesh and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit whispers to your heart "No, this will hurt you." Your flesh screams "YES! This looks like a great time!"
You must choose.
It IS hard to refuse your flesh what it wants at first. But you'll find the rewards well worth it when you begin to feel better about yourself.
You are going to have a GREAT testimony one day about how the Lord turned your life around and made you into something YOU respect. Listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit and take the first baby step of telling some random sinful thought that comes up "NO! I rebuke you in the Holy name of Jesus Christ. I'm a child of God! Get away from me! And DON'T come back!"
Keep on studying the Word. That will grow your faith stronger and your love for the Lord deeper.
You are not condemned. You are loved. Reach up to your Heavenly Father and cry out for help, and for the strength to say no, and for a Godly warm hug when you are hurting.
I get so much comfort and peace from picturing Him giving me a loving hug when my heart is broken.
Blessings,
BrokenWings