I see a few of you regularly in chat, and some of you have heard my testimony. I figured it was just time to write the whole thing out instead of re-telling it all the time :wink:. Perhaps you will find it encouraging. Pardon, in advance, for the length...
I grew up in a family that didn't belong to any particular religion, but it was always something that was open for discussion. I never attended church growing up unless it was for a wedding or a funeral. I was a seeker for as long as I can remember...always searching for more...wanting something to believe in. In high school I thought I had developed a close relationship with God. I tasted faith and I loved it...
After high school, life got the best of me. I struggled (and still do to this day) with clinical depression and anxiety. I ended up withdrawing from college on more than one occasion because of those mental health issues. I cannot express in words how dark my days would get. One night I decided I was going to take my own life.
Sparing the gory details, I could not succeed, and trust me when I say I tried. Call it a voice in my head, or a feeling or intuition, but I felt something say, "Get up, you have so much more to do." So I did. Life didn't magically get better, but I was able to realize how selfish I was being, and that it wasn't in my hands to decide whether or not I was good enough for this earth.
Fast forward to a year or so later and my aunt is diagnosed with cancer for the second time. In a matter of months she had passed away. 9 weeks later, her daughter (my cousin and best friend) died in a random car accident. I thought that the world was going to crush me. I had no idea how I was going to survive the tremendous losses my family had sustained...but I did.
It came down to a choice for me...I could choose to let it break me, or I could choose to trust that things happen for a reason. I chose the latter - I chose God. God got me through the grief and helped me to stand when I couldn't do it on my own.
My spiritual journey continues to grow and become stronger. I've realized that even though I may not be able to comprehend His motives, He knows what is best for me and the people around me - for the world.
For so long I tried to control everything, and in turn, it controlled me. There's a beauty in surrendering. I needed the things that happened to me to get me to this point to make such a strong commitment to God. Life is never going to be perfect...there will always be things that knock you down, but with God, you can always get up and try again. He has no limits.
I grew up in a family that didn't belong to any particular religion, but it was always something that was open for discussion. I never attended church growing up unless it was for a wedding or a funeral. I was a seeker for as long as I can remember...always searching for more...wanting something to believe in. In high school I thought I had developed a close relationship with God. I tasted faith and I loved it...
After high school, life got the best of me. I struggled (and still do to this day) with clinical depression and anxiety. I ended up withdrawing from college on more than one occasion because of those mental health issues. I cannot express in words how dark my days would get. One night I decided I was going to take my own life.
Sparing the gory details, I could not succeed, and trust me when I say I tried. Call it a voice in my head, or a feeling or intuition, but I felt something say, "Get up, you have so much more to do." So I did. Life didn't magically get better, but I was able to realize how selfish I was being, and that it wasn't in my hands to decide whether or not I was good enough for this earth.
Fast forward to a year or so later and my aunt is diagnosed with cancer for the second time. In a matter of months she had passed away. 9 weeks later, her daughter (my cousin and best friend) died in a random car accident. I thought that the world was going to crush me. I had no idea how I was going to survive the tremendous losses my family had sustained...but I did.
It came down to a choice for me...I could choose to let it break me, or I could choose to trust that things happen for a reason. I chose the latter - I chose God. God got me through the grief and helped me to stand when I couldn't do it on my own.
My spiritual journey continues to grow and become stronger. I've realized that even though I may not be able to comprehend His motives, He knows what is best for me and the people around me - for the world.
For so long I tried to control everything, and in turn, it controlled me. There's a beauty in surrendering. I needed the things that happened to me to get me to this point to make such a strong commitment to God. Life is never going to be perfect...there will always be things that knock you down, but with God, you can always get up and try again. He has no limits.
