I'm sorry that I write this in the light of all the suffering in the world and am aware that I must be lacking faith.
I feel sick with worry about the future. I cannot relax. I have to keep pushing whilst so needing rest. The last year and a half has been such a struggle on my personal strength and resources. As I try to overcome one hurdle with a positive attitude I find a larger one in front. Work stress is crushing my soul. Demand on my time is making me weary and angry.
Fear is consuming me, worry breaking my core and a lack of confidence in my ability to achieve or just 'do the right thing' is squashing my contentment in day to day living.
I feel a failure to God because I cannot turn to Him and to those reading this I feel shame but still crave help.
You are made up of the spirit, soul and body. It sounds like all three need your attention. You need rest. You need comfort. You need to have the peace of God. Try to do whatever you can to ease the stresses in your life and seek to rest in the Lord. At least you can tell God repeatedly through the day, "I trust you." Rest in Him. Thank Him for being with you and helping you. Even though you cannot feel him thank him anyway. He is present. He will somehow break through to you and give you rest in your soul and spirit. You have had a hard year. It all takes it toll. You are just very human. And you are demanding so much from yourself. Try to stop and take stock and make some positive decisions that will bring some relief.
Don't worry about not having faith. You have faith. Just turn to the Lord with it all and meditate on that word. O Sleepy. Life can be so difficult. But you can realize and receive the help of the Lord.
I'll be praying. You do too....James 5. Is any among you suffering? Let him pray.
i have been thinking yeah and like say if you didnt go to work and the like docter said you could not work at school because he said so yeah? what would you be doing??? and dont mension another job...haha i mean like you were not allowed to do NO jobs yeah?
because i have been thinkin this too. i have been thinking alot about who god is yeah? and it is difrent to what he does and it is like the same for us i rekon what i do/did is not who i am. but i dont like know who i am seperate to what i did?
dus that make sense? haha i hope so
but if all you can think about is work and i like think you mite have forgoten who you are.
when i think about it for myself and have an answer i will let you know ok? because it will bigger then what i do or did. and also i will be happyer.
grr i hope that makes sense. i could ecxplain it better if i was talking to ya and not typing LOL
sleepy I just wanna say that your expatations of yourself are too high thats why you feel like that. I am like that with myself too expect so much of myself and when I grow weak and weary I still push myself...give ya self a break and only achieve what ya can.
"because i have been thinkin this too. i have been thinking alot about who god is yeah? and it is difrent to what he does and it is like the same for us i rekon what i do/did is not who i am. but i dont like know who i am seperate to what i did?"
Heather Anne, You are really doing some great thinking here! Who we ARE in Christ is the most important issue in our lives. And then what we do should come out of that. Just like what God does comes out of Who He is. You did a great job of saying it!
Hello Sleepy - we all know what you have gone through this past while and it has been such a challenging time for you.Remember even Jesus on the cross cried out in despair and it is not easy to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Without realising it you are taking a very brave step by expressing your feelings.None of us can come up with a magic formula to make you feel better but there is no shame in turning to your fellow Christians to talk.I too am in a valley of darkness and I cope by not looking too far into the future and taking each day as it comes until some normality is restored.My trust is firmly in God to be right there with me and while prayer does not always defeat worry it is a coping mechanism and one that we who believe are Blessed to have. I know that it is impossible to solve all your problems by yourself and you must rely on family, friends and colleagues to be with you as you would be there for them if they faced a challenge. I will pray for you my friend that Almighty God will strengthen your resolve and refresh your sprit.
grr i hope that makes sense. i could ecxplain it better if i was talking to ya and not typing LOL
