Dear Sir,
I recently suffered from blasphemous thoughts. It started all of a sudden.I was on a fast when it started. I could not control it for about 6 weeks. It was against the Holy Spirit. It so disturbed me that I could not think, read or pray. I could not even sleep. My mind will stiffen like someone who's heart it turned with a fork. My heart was like one that was ripped off, and a shell inserted into it. One that was too evil and difficult to cut off.
One night, I was on the floor I was so restless that I stopped fighting those thoughts, because I needed to be fit in mind to fight but I was not in control of my thoughts. I gave up, and said one of those words to the Holy Spirit in my mind. I was like one who was physically tortured. I said in my mind, while I was weak, what is the point of fighting these thoughts when I am going to hell. In me, It was like one who descided to die rather than suffer torture. I stopped fighting the whole swarm of bees. It was in my mind. I said nothing with my mouth. The day I tried to scream against the devil, I was afraid I was going to speak evil against the Holy Spirit because I opened my mouth in uncontiousness, I thought I had spoken evil with my mouth, I heard word like Holy Spirit rebuke devil. I am worried if I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit by saying that word to the Holy Spirit in my mind. Its some ack of sexual thing I said to him.
One of the things I remembered I did was breaking a vow I made to God. But I remembered it before that night and asked God to forgive me. I vowed to God that I will never use social sites for anything. I told Him it should be a Blasphemy against The Holy Spirit If I ever do that.But I broke that vow by going online to chat. I am now confused if I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit? Please tell me if I have blashemed.
I recently suffered from blasphemous thoughts. It started all of a sudden.I was on a fast when it started. I could not control it for about 6 weeks. It was against the Holy Spirit. It so disturbed me that I could not think, read or pray. I could not even sleep. My mind will stiffen like someone who's heart it turned with a fork. My heart was like one that was ripped off, and a shell inserted into it. One that was too evil and difficult to cut off.
One night, I was on the floor I was so restless that I stopped fighting those thoughts, because I needed to be fit in mind to fight but I was not in control of my thoughts. I gave up, and said one of those words to the Holy Spirit in my mind. I was like one who was physically tortured. I said in my mind, while I was weak, what is the point of fighting these thoughts when I am going to hell. In me, It was like one who descided to die rather than suffer torture. I stopped fighting the whole swarm of bees. It was in my mind. I said nothing with my mouth. The day I tried to scream against the devil, I was afraid I was going to speak evil against the Holy Spirit because I opened my mouth in uncontiousness, I thought I had spoken evil with my mouth, I heard word like Holy Spirit rebuke devil. I am worried if I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit by saying that word to the Holy Spirit in my mind. Its some ack of sexual thing I said to him.
One of the things I remembered I did was breaking a vow I made to God. But I remembered it before that night and asked God to forgive me. I vowed to God that I will never use social sites for anything. I told Him it should be a Blasphemy against The Holy Spirit If I ever do that.But I broke that vow by going online to chat. I am now confused if I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit? Please tell me if I have blashemed.