Counseling

[falconbrother]

I'm not a professional counselor. I was a trained Peer Counselor as one of my many duties for my last ten years of police work. One of the things I was always taught is that each person already has the answers to the questions they have as to their personal conflicts, issues, etc.. The reason a counselor is needed is to help the person come to the answer, to help them work through. We get so emotionally involved in our situation that we cannot see the way out or, even think straight. The thoughts keep us in all kinds of future potentials or dwelling on our concept of what was the reality of our past. And, we cannot just be in the moment.

The question most counselors ask over and over, in some fashion is: "How does that make you feel?"

The reality is life is hard. It's made harder when we want it to be something other than what it is. Pain and Suffering are really two very different things. Pain is life. Suffering is a mental process.

As I get older, and get to know more and more older people, I find that focus is critical to longstanding happiness. The question in my mind is: "Where is my home?" I live here but, it's not my home.

Yesterday was a bad day all around. My wife had a doctor's appointment that went pretty terrible. An old aggravation we have been dealing with reared it's ugly head. And I was exhausted last night and spent much of the night stressing and wide awake.

Being born is a death sentence. So, what is life? Why were we born into this world of suffering?

I personally believe that at least part of the reason is to learn perspective. To be physical, human, and still experience spiritual reality in God. To learn to make it real. To overcome the realities of life in such that we can be joyful in times of pain and loss.

We say "God is good" and then often stumble over those words when the hard times come, as surely they will.

I think our enemy is often enough our ego. That is our flesh demanding it's way and fooling it's self into believing it's somehow in line with God's will. As I get older I have come to believe that our own ego is our stumbling block. Perhaps Satan whispers to us the very things our flesh wants to hear and we love it and act upon it. He offered these things to Jesus in the desert. I feel sure that Jesus' human side struggled with this as he faced of with Satan. But, he overcame. If he had given in he would have just been like so many of us.

So, the words, "Trust God" are so simple but, so profound. Often enough the best decision in the long run is self denial. Choosing to loose rather than to win, maybe just to discipline our own ego. To give an encouraging word to a person we don't really like all that much. To be nice when we don't have too. To be Jesus in a world that needs Him so much.

Luk 12:24 Consider the ravens, that they sow not, neither reap; which have no store-chamber nor barn; and God feedeth them: of how much more value are ye than the birds!
Luk 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a cubit unto the measure of his life?
Luk 12:26 If then ye are not able to do even that which is least, why are ye anxious concerning the rest?
Luk 12:27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin; yet I say unto you, Even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Luk 12:28 But if God doth so clothe the grass in the field, which to-day is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more shall he clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Luk 12:29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, and what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.
Luk 12:30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: but your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.
Luk 12:31 Yet seek ye his kingdom, and these things shall be added unto you.
Luk 12:32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

 

[farout]

I Graduated from Seminary with a major in Pastoial Care. I received intensive instruttion in the Humanistic terminology as you described.. Showing empathy is needed, drawing out conversation and bringing real issues to the surface are all just a part of counseling. I came to a sensible conclusion that professional counseling does very little of lasting value.

I know of one Psychologist that gave a fiifteen year old female advice to run away from home. The counselor failed to talk with the parents, yet with very incomplete knowledge made so serious a direction that took many years to begin to heal the family.

Often the charges for counseling are the main consideration, rather than helping first and working out arrangements with persons and families. Seldom do counselors follow up after all the appointments the insurance paid for are used up.

My serious conclusion is that without Jesus Christ there is no hope. No amount counseling without Jesus Christ at the center of counseling, and the person being counseled making a genuine confession that Jesus Christ has become their Savior, counseling is insignificant.

It is with serious reconsideration of what the Bible really says, I believe many so called christians are only "fans of Jesus not followers" Having said a prayer for Jesus to come into their heart is all it takes to be a christian. NOTHING COULD BE SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. The Bible is the worlds best selling book, year after year. But the Bible is the least read, and not understood. How many read the Bible daily? Why don't we read the Word of God? Maybe we just don't care.Ever heard some one you saw in church, and lster that week heard them use the Name of God as a sware word? How many of us give regularly to the Lord, say nothing of a Tithe we are told to do. How many Christians can name the Ten Commandments, or how about just mnaming just four?

Many so called christians do not believe in the Biblical account of creation? Today most believe Darwinism, The Bible warns that many will say Lord, Lord, but He will sasy I never knew you! Just after what I have already said should prove why many so called christians are not really His. Just fans of Jesus not followers.

I will repeat it WITHOUT JESUS CHRIST THERE IS NO HOPE, IN ANYTHING!!!

 

[falconbrother]

When I was counseling police officers I felt like I saw a lot of success. Not that I did all that much. I was just there for them, gave them a lot of wiggle room, didn't get in a hurry, made sure they knew where we stood, and tried to really see their inner situation and be compassionate. The issue is just to get through the crisis and then work on the deeper issues.

I agree that people need Jesus. My only issue is that that statement means very different things to different people. I always feel that my job was to make a little hole, drop seeds in, cover it up and add water. The Holy Spirit does the rest.

I have been very fortunate to travel some. Once I went to the catacombs in Rome. It was so, powerful to me there that the Holy Spirit is alive and working. And, that my ego and fears can actually work against the Holy Spirit. So, I always tried to walk that fine line between being used by God and getting in the way.

Anyway, what it eventually comes down to in life is trusting Jesus. I'll be honest. There's times when I struggle. When times are far harder than I ever imagined I struggle, just like every other normal human. But, as I get older I find that I get less earthly and a little more Heavenly. Saying God is good doesn't mean we get the cookies we want. It means we have the "Comforter" with us and eternity with God.

Thanks for your thoughts. I totally agree with your conclusion.

I'm a big fan of AA and NA because of their attitude about life and living. I can't fix myself. My efforts become ego issues. Rather, it is when I acknowledge that I am a sinner in need of grace that I find my footing. As Brennan Manning says: "All is Grace". That's my reality. It's not my praying that saves me (or any works). It's Jesus that saves. The older I get the less I find the energy to condemn (which is good since condemnation isn't a gift of the spirit). Again, thank you for your very insightful thoughts.

My church once asked me to take an alcoholic man on as a "friend". I did. He was a broken man. It was actually pretty easy. Starting broken is a great place to start. Jesus can work with that. All I really did was gently hold him accountable. I never once condemned. Rather, I prayed with him and reminded him of God's will for his life and his potential for future happiness in life. That was a few years ago and he is still dry. Thanks to the Holy Spirit.

I know that my being there with a few folks over the years kept them from killing themselves till the immediate crisis was over. Sometimes all a person needs is a friend. So, my view of counseling is just having a little training, a big heart, patience, not getting overly emotionally involved and helping people see the goal. It's Jesus with skin on I think. Hands and feet, etc..

Yea, what about that telling some kid to run away. What is that about? Crazy. That seems like a potential lawsuit.

 

[farout]

Carl Rogers a famout Psys. Dr ran a long term test. With two groups of patients, one group went to professional counseling, the other just went to totally untrained, but they had a gift of being caring people. I do not remember how long they followed the groups, but somehow I think it was a little less than a year. The results were the ones that went and talked with caring people did far better and were well on their doing something else. Basicly a caring people let them talk and gave empathy and undirected simple listening. And to think many people could move on with someone who cares, and it did not cost $ 200. to $ 300. an hour.


Who knows if this fellow who killed those people at the Spiderman show, had someone to talk about his issues a long time ago if this would have turned out different? Bet your glad youu were not a police officer under those conditions. When we read psalm 139 and try to minister to those families the Holy Spirit can minister in deep ways we will never understand. With the gunpower he had it is beyonnnnd understanding why more people were not killed ar hurt. This world is so ugly with out Christ, I am sure we will hear later on how the Lord was working while and especially after the shooting.

Perhaps when someone buys so many guns and bullets in such a short time it should raise red flag for some investigation? I do not believe in gun control, that's a freedom we can't take for granted, and I am sure someone will start putting pressure to keep better control of guns. The last two times I got a 20 g shotgun and a 22 LR rifle the paper word was so fast it took less than 30 minuets. The 20 g shotgun fires one shot at a time, a double barrel would be so much haaaaaaaandier. We have wild drop off dogs sometimes, and they kill pets, and live stock especially like Chiiiiickens. That's why we stopped reiaing our own chickens.

We have ground hogs, and raccoons that we try and trap and move then to a place far from here. We have lots of Gods critters, deer, turkey, rabbits, arround us and we love it, I do not hunt, we like watching then more.

Maybe if not so many people lived in the croweded city tempers and stupid things like this guy killing 12 and others who kiiilled several people at a time, might not happen as often.

Glad you are retired, we take things a lot slower and smell the roses more often.

 

[falconbrother]

Well, one would think that retirement would be easy.. My wife's health is really scary right now. Plus, I have some PTSD issues that I need to deal with and I'm not doing a good job of it. Funny thing, a great buddy of mine was pulpit clergy and went back to school so he is now councilor clergy. He says I need to seek out counseling. To be honest I think he's right. I'm just hesitant to do that. I'd like to think that I can get through this myself. I helped people get through for years. Seems I could do that for myself.

My last decade of police work was just relentless. I couldn't even come close to recovering from one horrible situation till I was back in another, sometimes the next day or, wee hours of the morning. I was a supervisor for a team of detectives and I had to handle internal criminal investigations. My phone rang all night and day every day. I had officer involved shooting and in-custody death investigations. All the homicides while I was on-call, and when I wasn't on call I had all the critical incidents as a peer councilor. So, it was pretty much back to back crisis 24/7 for ten years. In 2006 and 2007 I didn't get a vacation. In 2006 I had three weekends off that whole year. On January 1st 06 I had brown hair. By the end of that year the sides were grey and by 2010 I was mostly white headed.

I'll probably drop dead of a heart attack any minute.

 

[Opal]

Hi falconbrother

I agree with most of the main depths of your posts. They are true and works. I too have done much counselling to many,
and been successful and have used the information you posted concerning the subject. I could not state it so simple
as you did though [smile]. Wow that was a real simplistic view!!!! God bless you, Opal

 

[Quasicentennium]

Having Jesus in your heart as your protection for health and safety during your temporary earth-born life on Earth, can hopefully give some clue of what our positive experiences will be like as we socialize in peace inside our future-coming futuristic accommodation-free city: Kingdom of God .;*;.Rev 21:2 .;*;.
Futuristic is a word I chose to describe what I believe that the kingdom is so advanced in reaching the ultimate best in green energy technology after watching the SBS channel TV documentary called Power Surge, especially where our future-coming Christ-transformed Earth will have no ocean or sea, meaning that there will be no more weather and environmental disasters that seem to have stolen many innocent lives and you can't take mother nature - or should it be our Lord Jesus - to court for genocide.
I also believe that failure and clumsiness cannot escape God's powerful gift to know our future actions once we are inside the protective city of God with our new Christ-transformed accident-proof minds and bodies. Say for example, if playing rugby inside his kingdom on the football field, then you can imagine that no injury will occur because our future-seeing Lord Jesus is downloading information silently in the back of our minds and automatically adjusting our body movements, where you might feel an invisible force of being shoved aside.
Dust, bad bacteria and viruses that cause us to sneeze, suffer all kinds of diseases or allergies - should not be available in his kingdom and I would be surprised if there are no bathtubs, showers or washing machines to keep our bodies and clothes clean.
I believe Satan's victory to win many victims to lose faith in Christ after many centuries of sin since Adam and Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit might not be a tiny victory if Satan ends up with only a small stadium-size population in hell .;*;.