Mainly, throughout everything that happened, I stopped being an unloyal manipulative *******, finally got morality, and have been focusing on a relationship with god, while as before I was very driven on my deeds, I would only act on things I thought were right, and barely even knew god. As a result god was not involved with my relationship i had with this person, despite me claiming i was christian back then
Learn of Jesus Christ and His words to you in what He will do for you as your personal Good Shepherd & Friend. That is the only way you can grow in your relationship with Him by getting to know Him and His words to you.
Like learning about His purpose is to destroy the works of the devil in our lives so we can hope in Him to follow Him as we ought.
1 John 3:3
And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure....
...8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning.
For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
2 Timothy 4:18
And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Jude 1:24
Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
So if you have been misled to make a religious commitment to Christ in following Him or made any religious promises, ask Him to set you free from your commitment & promises to rest in Him & His promises to you that He will help you to know Him in His words & to follow Him by your faith and trust in Him as your Good Shepherd & Friend to help you to follow Him.
Galatians 3:1O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?
2 This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?
3 Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?
4 Have ye suffered so many things in vain? if it be yet in vain.
Galatians 5:1Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage....
5 For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.
Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:...
...9 And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;
10 That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ.
11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.
We can only live this reconciled relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ. So learn of Him and may you find rest for your soul.
Matthew
11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
John 8:30
As he spake these words, many believed on him.
31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
33 They answered him, We be Abraham's seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free?
34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
35 And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever.
36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.