two days ago i found out that someone who i thought was a friend, was saying hateful things about me but not just me but my family, of course i allow anger to take over and I went into full rage. After a while i realize i went about things the wrong way, and have been trying to not let anger get me again, but this person continues on and on even calling my pastor . I don't want anger to control me but its becoming hard , does anyone have any advice how to deal with this situation. I know God is ashamed of me but I just can't get this hatred out of my heart . how do i begin to forgive if I can't let go of my anger.
Dealing with Hatred
- Thread starter Idelrey
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skipbeat
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Hello..
Perhaps this may be in the wrong channel? But i shall give my best opinion.
Idelrey first of all the Lord is not ashamed of you. He knows what is in your heart when you fell victim to your anger, and most importantly you knew right away the wrong that you did and are seeking away to not let it happen again. That alone says a lot in the eye of the Lord. the best way to deal with anger is to keep in mind that if you allow this anger to take control of you. Then you're giving more power to the evil at work. Just remember that no matter who we are (sinner etc.) the Lord still loved us and forgave us. Let YOURSELF have peace, and brush it off of your shoulder. I tell you trust me it takes a load off of your shoulder if you just brush it off and turn a blind eye. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" Proverbs 15:1. It makes our oppressor more upset when we let them know that they can't have power over us. This things that this person is speaking about behind your back can only bother you if it where true. It's NOT true then hon there is nothing for you to be upset about. Remember “In your anger do not sin”Ephesians 4:26 . Be blessed
Perhaps this may be in the wrong channel? But i shall give my best opinion.
Idelrey first of all the Lord is not ashamed of you. He knows what is in your heart when you fell victim to your anger, and most importantly you knew right away the wrong that you did and are seeking away to not let it happen again. That alone says a lot in the eye of the Lord. the best way to deal with anger is to keep in mind that if you allow this anger to take control of you. Then you're giving more power to the evil at work. Just remember that no matter who we are (sinner etc.) the Lord still loved us and forgave us. Let YOURSELF have peace, and brush it off of your shoulder. I tell you trust me it takes a load off of your shoulder if you just brush it off and turn a blind eye. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" Proverbs 15:1. It makes our oppressor more upset when we let them know that they can't have power over us. This things that this person is speaking about behind your back can only bother you if it where true. It's NOT true then hon there is nothing for you to be upset about. Remember “In your anger do not sin”Ephesians 4:26 . Be blessed
Furious_Love
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Hopefully I am right here based on your post. I will try to address the issue the way I see it.
It is natural to want to defend our names if someone is spreading lies and falsehoods. I think most people would want to clear their names and right any wrongs done against them. So Idelrey it is natural for you to feel the way you do. I have in my life acted out my desires for retribution and whilst it may have felt good at the time the consequences are still in my memory after so many years. Sadness and regret are the memories I have after acting out my revenge. Yet Christ set us free from Guilt and shame. Letting everything go bit by bit at the foot of the cross has helped over the years.
Have it clear in your mind what you want to do to clear your name. Anger is quite common amongst us humans, how you react to it is what counts. We all get angry from time to time as was said, except do not let it get the best of you. Actually slander tells something of the person who has rallied against you. It actually show who they really are in full bloom for all to see. If you know deep down in your heart you are right then do what it takes to clear your name.
It may not happen overnight as we would all want it to happen. Keep plugging away at the falsehoods and lies. And if you get a chance confront the person(s) who are slandering you. You may feel fear and apprehension as that is quite natural too. Facing your fears is liberating and freeing even if we are shaking in our boots to get it. God’s love confronts fear head on and challenges us to do the same. Be at peace as you contemplate your next move. If you don’t have the strength to forgive, ask God to give you the strength to forgive because you can’t.
Speak your mind and speak the truth and I believe you will begin to feel such joy through the difficult times you are going through.
Finally, you believe God is ashamed of you. Where did you get that theology from because it is not true at all. Whilst you may feel some shame for your life God does not feel any shame towards you, no hatred, no bad feelings and no disappointments. Jesus removes our shame and guilt and in fact gives you strength to be who you are. A Child of God who is loved beyond compare. Look at yourself the way God sees you rather than looking at yourself through your eyes. My failings are always before me but I look to Jesus to restore my mind and right thinking.
You can do it Idelrey.
Peace Be with You.
It is natural to want to defend our names if someone is spreading lies and falsehoods. I think most people would want to clear their names and right any wrongs done against them. So Idelrey it is natural for you to feel the way you do. I have in my life acted out my desires for retribution and whilst it may have felt good at the time the consequences are still in my memory after so many years. Sadness and regret are the memories I have after acting out my revenge. Yet Christ set us free from Guilt and shame. Letting everything go bit by bit at the foot of the cross has helped over the years.
Have it clear in your mind what you want to do to clear your name. Anger is quite common amongst us humans, how you react to it is what counts. We all get angry from time to time as was said, except do not let it get the best of you. Actually slander tells something of the person who has rallied against you. It actually show who they really are in full bloom for all to see. If you know deep down in your heart you are right then do what it takes to clear your name.
It may not happen overnight as we would all want it to happen. Keep plugging away at the falsehoods and lies. And if you get a chance confront the person(s) who are slandering you. You may feel fear and apprehension as that is quite natural too. Facing your fears is liberating and freeing even if we are shaking in our boots to get it. God’s love confronts fear head on and challenges us to do the same. Be at peace as you contemplate your next move. If you don’t have the strength to forgive, ask God to give you the strength to forgive because you can’t.
Speak your mind and speak the truth and I believe you will begin to feel such joy through the difficult times you are going through.
Finally, you believe God is ashamed of you. Where did you get that theology from because it is not true at all. Whilst you may feel some shame for your life God does not feel any shame towards you, no hatred, no bad feelings and no disappointments. Jesus removes our shame and guilt and in fact gives you strength to be who you are. A Child of God who is loved beyond compare. Look at yourself the way God sees you rather than looking at yourself through your eyes. My failings are always before me but I look to Jesus to restore my mind and right thinking.
You can do it Idelrey.
Peace Be with You.
- Joined
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The hardest thing to do, especially when one is attacked, is to show the Love of Christ. First the anger part. If your anger was wrong then apologize for it. It's a hard lesson to learn, because apologizing is not something we come by naturally. Real tough to do because you feel that you were the injured party; the one who was wronged. Remember our Lord on the cross.” Forgive them for they know not what they do.” He was the one being wronged and He asked those who were doing Him the harm to be forgiven!
Take Note: Also, don’t apologize in a backhanded sort of way. “I sorry I got angry with you, but when I heard you said, this and that about me and my family…..” Do it that way and all you’re doing is justifying your anger, and that you probably don’t really mean the apology.
God taught me a valuable lesson with this not too long ago. Apologize and turn it over to Him. He can handle the situation a lot better than we can. When I feel anger getting ready to explode, I cry out to Jesus for help “Jesus help me!” Since I might be in a crowd I kind of do it in my mind! Put your focus on Him, it really does help and remember He really does want to help us!
Also, keep this in mind. Don’t get involved in gossip, it is poison. Who said, she said, has brought down, relationships, churches, and only God knows what else. What is being told to another is always done with the best of intentions. They want to help because they heard someone talking bad about you. Instead of telling the person whose doing the talking that they shouldn't be saying those things, they just go tell someone else. How spreading stuff around about folks, is helping, but there you have it, imperfect people. Not saying that this is the case here, just keep this in mind.
I won’t address the issue with your Pastor, unless they bring it up first. Once you turn it over to God let Him work. As I said before, I think He can handle it a lot better than we can. If you still feel the need to talk to someone then pray about it. Ask God to move folks into your life that will help you. Kind of like your brothers & sisters in Christ here at TJ who are trying
I hope this has been of some benefit to you. I’ll being praying for you.
YBIC
C4E
Kit Carson
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Hatred is bad, it leads to confusion and the return of the expression of things we then have to ask forgiveness for .
No one knows all in a post like this, what is the story and what is the situation....there are always two sides...but you see it does not matter at all.
When things go bad all one can do is brush it off, and forgive all that has been done. Those who have wronged you cannot hurt you if you stand in truth. You see truth has this way of always becoming known. It is Gods will that truth be truth.
So in life those who will harm you with words cannot , they only show their own fear and resentments, and lack of understanding.
Your goal is to understand, to be kind, to not take it serious and to just forget about it. Ask God to forgive them, and then smile and next time you see them speak, let it go....let them chose what they will do, you need to chose forgiveness and just smile.
Your Pastor is not a dummy, if he is,,,,,find one that is not, and a simple discussion will clear the air, and you will be free of all that nonsense.
I am 57 years old, many in my lifetime have harmed me, for many years I would resent it.....dream of ways of revenge, and how to skewer them on a stake. Lol!
Hey it only makes you walk the walk away from God. Other words of man cannot harm you, the only time you should fight back with violence is if someone attacks you with violence, then for sure defend oneself. But the silly nonsense we all get involved in, let it go. Do not dwell on it....if they will speak when you do.......cool...if they wish to continue in their way......let them and just stay away from them, do not allow them to lead you against plain ole common sense.....that taking thing others say serious and if not true, only makes you yourself miserable.
Let it go.....speak with your Pastor, you may find out of that comes a new understanding and a smile. It does not matter a bit what someone says......you see God knows the truth if you are telling the truth and it should not concern you at all.
Oh we are mean to each other sometimes......yep......it is what we do. So the goal is to not do these things.....walk away from them.
There is a man in my life that did my a great injustice, and caused me loss of work and did all for his own greed, I had a chance to gain the work back......but I was mad.....and even today I will wake up and say to self........I ought to just go shoot him.......drag him down the road.......pulverize him.....oh my......Elshadia says......Kit.....behave.....leave it alone.....and I just smile and say OK. I will listen to you. I will let it go......and in no way will I make it worse with any actions of mine.
God teaches you these things if you will listen to him. It took me time, sure did......but the light bulb did finally come on.
Kit
No one knows all in a post like this, what is the story and what is the situation....there are always two sides...but you see it does not matter at all.
When things go bad all one can do is brush it off, and forgive all that has been done. Those who have wronged you cannot hurt you if you stand in truth. You see truth has this way of always becoming known. It is Gods will that truth be truth.
So in life those who will harm you with words cannot , they only show their own fear and resentments, and lack of understanding.
Your goal is to understand, to be kind, to not take it serious and to just forget about it. Ask God to forgive them, and then smile and next time you see them speak, let it go....let them chose what they will do, you need to chose forgiveness and just smile.
Your Pastor is not a dummy, if he is,,,,,find one that is not, and a simple discussion will clear the air, and you will be free of all that nonsense.
I am 57 years old, many in my lifetime have harmed me, for many years I would resent it.....dream of ways of revenge, and how to skewer them on a stake. Lol!
Hey it only makes you walk the walk away from God. Other words of man cannot harm you, the only time you should fight back with violence is if someone attacks you with violence, then for sure defend oneself. But the silly nonsense we all get involved in, let it go. Do not dwell on it....if they will speak when you do.......cool...if they wish to continue in their way......let them and just stay away from them, do not allow them to lead you against plain ole common sense.....that taking thing others say serious and if not true, only makes you yourself miserable.
Let it go.....speak with your Pastor, you may find out of that comes a new understanding and a smile. It does not matter a bit what someone says......you see God knows the truth if you are telling the truth and it should not concern you at all.
Oh we are mean to each other sometimes......yep......it is what we do. So the goal is to not do these things.....walk away from them.
There is a man in my life that did my a great injustice, and caused me loss of work and did all for his own greed, I had a chance to gain the work back......but I was mad.....and even today I will wake up and say to self........I ought to just go shoot him.......drag him down the road.......pulverize him.....oh my......Elshadia says......Kit.....behave.....leave it alone.....and I just smile and say OK. I will listen to you. I will let it go......and in no way will I make it worse with any actions of mine.
God teaches you these things if you will listen to him. It took me time, sure did......but the light bulb did finally come on.
Kit
Brighthouse
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- Jan 22, 2009
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Some nice posts here!! I will only speak for myself here. I know what hatred truly is! After I became saved by the Lord,he asked me about my earthly father! What about him Lord??LOL Holy Spirit inside me said well?? Will you forgive him?
After all he put me through??? Are you kidding?? OH!! But what did you put me through mark?? Yea but you are God!! I sure am not!! Then you do not wish to follow after me?? Become part of my nature which is to what?? ALWAYS LOVE??
Now Idelrey,I am not picking at you !! AT!!ALL!! I am just telling you what was expected of me is all. ( john 8:1-11) this was the first scripture given unto me.Next was this Matt 18:21-35) Do you see why I am giving you scripture sis?? Because not I, or anyone without the Lord can even start to forgive another!! We have good reasons!! You do!! and I sure did!
But do you see something? being right is not the point! Having peace is! We cannot have this if we are grumbling about another so called believer! That is what makes us different!! We judge ourselve by the Word,not other people! To start with,we have to change our very will!! That we can only do,by placing God's Will above our own will!
This we can do as we renew our mind!( rom 12:1-2) Who does not make mistakes?? LOL I sure have! I lost my temper many a time,but the key to this,is that even when others remember them,Jesus does not remember them! And we being in him, repent and learn from them!
This my sister does not happen over night! But when we become willing to be taught!! WE are taught!!( 1 John 2:27) I used to complain about others all the time!! Then Holy Spirit said, mark?? are you any better then Jesus??( john 15:18-20!!) This is also a promise!! ( 1 thess 1:4!!) John 15:16) This is why he choose YOU!! To show others how Jesus is to be represented by us in him.
We forgive dear sister because we always need forgiveness in our own life,and we do not judge others, because even though we may be right in doing so,we also could be judged in the same way ourselves. So we rather pray for them!! And let the Lord deal with them!! we do this rom 13:8-10)
I know!! easy to say,most hard to do,espically when you are correct in your righteous anger! But doing it not,leads to the state you are in at present! As was so true with me! The devil robs many,and they do not even see it coming,because there own anger clouds sound judgment.( john 10:10)
We sometimes get robbed and do not even know it. But you do!! So praise the Lord for that! My prayers are of course with you,and for you! If others wish themselves to be robbed,don't you as well! You are not like them!! You nature is to rather show others what true light on a hill really is!!(matt 5:13-16!!) We shine so others can see,and speak so others can hear,and we do so others can follow! That is our nature in Jesus!!( james 1:22) blessing to you always sister! I hope you have been encouraged!!
After all he put me through??? Are you kidding?? OH!! But what did you put me through mark?? Yea but you are God!! I sure am not!! Then you do not wish to follow after me?? Become part of my nature which is to what?? ALWAYS LOVE??
Now Idelrey,I am not picking at you !! AT!!ALL!! I am just telling you what was expected of me is all. ( john 8:1-11) this was the first scripture given unto me.Next was this Matt 18:21-35) Do you see why I am giving you scripture sis?? Because not I, or anyone without the Lord can even start to forgive another!! We have good reasons!! You do!! and I sure did!
But do you see something? being right is not the point! Having peace is! We cannot have this if we are grumbling about another so called believer! That is what makes us different!! We judge ourselve by the Word,not other people! To start with,we have to change our very will!! That we can only do,by placing God's Will above our own will!
This we can do as we renew our mind!( rom 12:1-2) Who does not make mistakes?? LOL I sure have! I lost my temper many a time,but the key to this,is that even when others remember them,Jesus does not remember them! And we being in him, repent and learn from them!
This my sister does not happen over night! But when we become willing to be taught!! WE are taught!!( 1 John 2:27) I used to complain about others all the time!! Then Holy Spirit said, mark?? are you any better then Jesus??( john 15:18-20!!) This is also a promise!! ( 1 thess 1:4!!) John 15:16) This is why he choose YOU!! To show others how Jesus is to be represented by us in him.
We forgive dear sister because we always need forgiveness in our own life,and we do not judge others, because even though we may be right in doing so,we also could be judged in the same way ourselves. So we rather pray for them!! And let the Lord deal with them!! we do this rom 13:8-10)
I know!! easy to say,most hard to do,espically when you are correct in your righteous anger! But doing it not,leads to the state you are in at present! As was so true with me! The devil robs many,and they do not even see it coming,because there own anger clouds sound judgment.( john 10:10)
We sometimes get robbed and do not even know it. But you do!! So praise the Lord for that! My prayers are of course with you,and for you! If others wish themselves to be robbed,don't you as well! You are not like them!! You nature is to rather show others what true light on a hill really is!!(matt 5:13-16!!) We shine so others can see,and speak so others can hear,and we do so others can follow! That is our nature in Jesus!!( james 1:22) blessing to you always sister! I hope you have been encouraged!!
Romans 8.28
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- Mar 10, 2011
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Dear Idelrey, I'll just leave some scripture I hope helps. In the first God removes our sin from us. To have peace about your problem, you must also count it as not a wrong against you; remove it from you.
Psalms 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Below is prophesies concerning Israel, but I believe since He removes our sins, God also forgets them as he does below with Israel.
Isaiah 65:16 That he who blesseth himself in the earth shall bless himself in the God of truth; and he that sweareth in the earth shall swear by the God of truth; because the former troubles are forgotten, and because they are hid from mine eyes.
Isaiah 65:17. For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.
I'm going to give you this example I have given others, but I hope it helps you; it has worked for me in my life.
There was the supposedly true story of a man that hated another person in the church he attended so much, he would cross the street to avoid coming face to face with them. Let’s call him Roman.
The hatred grew worse to the point of wanting to quit attending the assembly, and he finally talked to the pastor about it. The pastor told him that he knew how to fix it, but that he knew the man asking wouldn’t do it.
Oh yes I will pastor, I will do anything to get rid of this hate. No you wouldn’t - Yes I will. Okay I want you to go home tonight and pray for God to bless Roman before you go to sleep, and repeat that the first thing in the morning, and you do the same every day, and continue that for two weeks.
I will not do that! I knew you wouldn't. Well I promised I would, and I will.
That night: God please bless Roman; ….. …..God You know I don’t mean that, I hate that guy, and he goes to bed mad. The next morning was more of the same, but as the days went by the hardness in him began to soften, the prayers became longer, and the hurt he felt became less.
By the end of the two weeks, he again went to his pastor with a smile on his face and said, you were right pastor, I want Roman blessed more than anyone I know, and the hate is gone.
I liked the story, because it helped me to understand some of what Jesus prayed for us, even though we didn’t deserve it either.
Remember that all things work together for good to them that love God, and as a trial of your faith, God has allowed this in your life for your good to strengthen you. In weakness we are made strong. God bless you in Jesus' name.
Psalms 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Below is prophesies concerning Israel, but I believe since He removes our sins, God also forgets them as he does below with Israel.
Isaiah 65:16 That he who blesseth himself in the earth shall bless himself in the God of truth; and he that sweareth in the earth shall swear by the God of truth; because the former troubles are forgotten, and because they are hid from mine eyes.
Isaiah 65:17. For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.
I'm going to give you this example I have given others, but I hope it helps you; it has worked for me in my life.
There was the supposedly true story of a man that hated another person in the church he attended so much, he would cross the street to avoid coming face to face with them. Let’s call him Roman.
The hatred grew worse to the point of wanting to quit attending the assembly, and he finally talked to the pastor about it. The pastor told him that he knew how to fix it, but that he knew the man asking wouldn’t do it.
Oh yes I will pastor, I will do anything to get rid of this hate. No you wouldn’t - Yes I will. Okay I want you to go home tonight and pray for God to bless Roman before you go to sleep, and repeat that the first thing in the morning, and you do the same every day, and continue that for two weeks.
I will not do that! I knew you wouldn't. Well I promised I would, and I will.
That night: God please bless Roman; ….. …..God You know I don’t mean that, I hate that guy, and he goes to bed mad. The next morning was more of the same, but as the days went by the hardness in him began to soften, the prayers became longer, and the hurt he felt became less.
By the end of the two weeks, he again went to his pastor with a smile on his face and said, you were right pastor, I want Roman blessed more than anyone I know, and the hate is gone.
I liked the story, because it helped me to understand some of what Jesus prayed for us, even though we didn’t deserve it either.
Remember that all things work together for good to them that love God, and as a trial of your faith, God has allowed this in your life for your good to strengthen you. In weakness we are made strong. God bless you in Jesus' name.
pinkflower
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- Jan 24, 2023
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- 12
glad they're hid
