Depression

[sealightbreeze]

Things have been bothering me again lately. I am not really sure who to talk to about things, so I turned here again. This is most likely going to make me look like a bad selfish person. But I really need to get my emotions out. So, here goes:


1-I am really starting to miss my things. (I gave my DVD’s and games up so we could have money for food, and money for everyone’s medicine.) I know that it was the right thing to do, but I really miss my DVD’s. I only have about a handful left. I have over 500 before. My sister gave a few of hers out, but she keeps re-buying hers (she gets over $1,000.00 a month). My mom gets the same amount- but, mom has to pay for utilities, medicine, and food. While, my sister goes and buys anything. So, by the time we can buy anything- the money is already gone.

2-I want to go back to College. I really want to finish school so that I can be able and get a job and help out with bills and food. It used to be (when I was still going to college) that all I wanted was a semester off. Now, that we can’t afford it, I am bored all day long. No one will hire me, as I have never been employed before, and do not have any sort of a degree. :embarasse

3-I am not so sure how much my older, and younger adopted sister loves me anymore. My older sister- attitude toward me is getting worse. She rolls her eyes, makes real soft-spoken snide remarks (by which I mean, you can barely hear her). My relationship with her and my mom, are the most important things to me. My younger sister, was so nasty this past week. I can tell she does not even want to be near me.

5- My birthday. I only got a few things. Granted, I should be thankful that I got anything. Since we do not have a lot of money right now. My mom promised me a book and a movie at the end of the month. When I mentioned it yesterday, my sister smirked, and just walked away. (My younger sister’s birthday is at the end of the month) I guess I am jealous- my birthday has not even been gone a week, and already everyone is worried about her. It seems everyone easily forgot about me. I know her birthday is going to be great, were mine sucked. I know jealousy is a sin. And I know she is still just a kid. But it is unfair


I am grateful to God that I have a family, and that I have what I do have. I just feel un-loved and depressed right now But, please pray that things will get better, I will feel loved and not so depressed. Thank you. Please do not think bad of me. I am not a bad person

 

[ladylovesJesus]

Dear sister you are right it does sound like you are selfish as it is all I in your post.
I understand what you are saying but you only have to look at those in the third world countries who have very little and see how happy they are in Jesus.

I think of Paul in the Bible who learnt to be content.

You need to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matt.6.33.

You are blessed to have a family as there are some without parents. Others who have parents who are not talking to them.

We have to be thankful for what we do have in life. Thank Jesus every day that you are alive and can do things for Him. You can walk etc.

Focus on Jesus and not on your circumstances sister.

God will bless you when you reach out to others and shine Jesus to them.

Develop an attitude of gratitude.

God is our Jehovah Jireh our great provider.

God bless

LLJ :rainbow: :rose:

 

[maranatha50]

New beginning

Dear Sister,
Peace of Christ,
I would like to thank my Lord Jesus Christ about your life even the worst situation you are crossing through, because this is the best time for you to thank God for all He gives you of grace and blessings, as ladylovesJesus said:

"We have to be thankful for what we do have in life. Thank Jesus every day that you are alive and can do things for Him. You can walk etc.

So, I ask you in the name of Jesus Christ to look to the full part of the water glass not the empty one, God can bless this part more and more as He blessed the 5 loaves and 2 fishes, He can make great things in your life, just surrender Him what you have and put it in His blessed hands and wait for Him by praying.
I advise you to have a QUIET TIME with your God through reading the Bible, Meditation and Worship (BMW), it is not the famous trade mark of cars, but the famous way to have a closed fellowship with your God who creates you and knows everything about you.

Paul has said: "that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that if possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead" ( Philippians 3:10-11).
Don't give up and be deppressed but surrender all things to your Lord who can manage your life and direct you in the right way, He said: ""I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me" (John 14: 6).

May God bless you in all circumstances and give you hope and peace.
Prayerfully yours,
Maranatha50

 

[sealightbreeze]

I am sorry if I sound like a bad person I am really not a bad person. Sometimes, I just get so confused and need someone to talk to. Thank you both for the words

 

[Sleepy]

Hey sealightbreeze ...It's good to talk.

May God pour blessings on you and your family, repairing your relationships so they bloom and grow. May He give you direction and strength.

God Bless you for your openess and honesty.

You're in my prayers tonight. God loves you, no matter what you feel, He understands and you'll grow and learn and light will come :girl_hug:

 

[sealightbreeze]

Thank you so much sleepy it really means a lot. Good words of wisdom....thank you...god bless you :girl_hug:

 

[Br. Bear]

Hi Sealightbreeze,

Sounds like things are pretty tough for you at the moment.

First, I pray that God blesses you with His Joy in Jesus Christ the Lord. You have done well to post your innermost hurts here. Blessings are for you, for your soul, that your heart may rejoice in Jesus. So , for now, be refreshed by the Spirit of God. He only ever wants you to have His Love, in other words, He desires it so much for you, so, dear child, come to the father through Jesus the Son.

Brothers, sisters, mums, dads, and half/step ones too are such trouble to us sometimes, eh ? (Wait till you get children and grandchildren complete with the step!) But, Sealightbreeze, you are one of them, too! I mean, when I get rubbed up the wrong way by family members, I eventually get round to looking in the mirror and guess what ? I see that I'm not really much better !So, try it and I pray you'll find yourself in the same boat, called life, that your sister is in, (and all of us) and that you will find forgiveness for your sister to the same measure that you would like God's forgiveness....when I see my need, I get forgiving real quick!!!

Now, DVD's heheheeee!!!! I know it's a bummer, but how many can you watch in a day? I pesonally don't have a lot of time for DVD's but I do understand your position. Once I had my pride and joy, my collection of records (before the days of CD's) and believe it or not, I decided to give them away. It was pretty hard. But, my life went on, and I actually didn't miss them so much after a while. We all seem to like our possessions and it's easy to judge others for wanting to keep them, but like before, when we hop into the boat, that judgement bites us from behind! Another thing that helps is to think of the real value of things...I know that when I think about what I'm going to take with me when I die (and we all will one day unless the Lord comes beforehand) the only thing I'd like to take is my little Bible which goes everwhere I go, but then I think that I'll have the Word who became flesh, Jesus Christ, with me forever. So the value I usually put on things is brought into perspective, if you know what I mean. It helps.
Anyway, looking at your need/desire to get work, well, if you will now spend a lot less time watching DVD's, since they are now mostly gone, you will find that you have lots of extra time for pursuing some sort of work. On this point, you might consider utilizing the internet as so many are doing these days, and perhaps start a home-based job - you seem to have access to a computer, and seem able to use it, probably much more skillfully than me, so ask around, surf the net, and most of all ask the Lord to guide you. Be careful though with what you get involved with, take time to check things out before getting tied up....there are a lot of good opportunities, but there are also a lot of rip-offs, ask someone perhaps older and who is doing this kind of work. A lot of people are turning to the internet as a valid place to work from. Go slowly, get it right, but at least have a look. If you are not legally old enough, and that is your secret my friend, you can still research it a bit for now.

There are always going to be people who have more than you. Don't let it bother you too much, because it will rob you of joy, which those others may not have. As a believer, you have joy, but perhaps you aren't looking in that direction just now, so I encourage you to look to Jesus !

As for birthdays, I think we've all got it a bit mixed up. Birthdays are really something for parents, and we as children, can love our parents on our birth days. They serve to add another year so we know how old we are. As with all traditional times of giving gifts, birthdays have become something that we expect to receive gifts about and/or are expected to give gifts and because of this, we get hurt in our feelings if we are forgotten or miss out or don't get what we would like or don't get as much as others, and this of course gets us down. I know that when we're young it is sometimes hard to deal with some things, but I encourage you to do your best to weigh up things on the scales of eternity, to attempt to count all the wonders of your life, and always consider the most precious thing we have...hope. Hope for the glorious appearing of our Lord and Saviour, and our names written in the book of life.

Let me leave you with this....


LOVE IS

FOR GIVING

and...


God is Love.


Bless you, I hope this helps a bit,

Br. Bear.