Direction

[Snowrose]

Hi dear friends,

I have been in this family for only a week and I can't believe how the Lord has used your words of encouragement and love to touch my heart.

Now for what's in my heart that keeps on raising it's ugly head (so to speak). I have dealt with hurts of abuse, rejection and lonliness. Abuse by my father, rejected by my (ex) husband and raising the children alone. For some reason, my heart is really aching today. Why does it still come back? It seems like each time, every time I've gotten over one hurdle there is another one.

Believe I've forgiven the ones who's hurt me and even vice versa, where the Lord had directed me. Will the ache be ever there?

Best wishes,
Snowrose

 

[calluna]

hi Snowrose, sorry you are having a down time. Will the ache be ever there.? I believe the closer you become to Christ and know His abounding love, there will be no more pain and you will feel nothing negative about your past or the people who wronged you.

I understand the loss of a childhood I was in similar situation. We just didn't have a fun loving, kind dad that daughters should have when growing up.
But now we have a father, a loving Father, our God Almighty. So if the past raises its ugly head, which it may, a photograph, a smell, just a reminder of the past, satan uses these things to pull us into negative thinking and we become depressed.

It is important to go to the Lord immediately. Satan is trying to steal away our joy and our peace.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for I will yet praise Him, my savior and my God" Psalm 43:5

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" Neh:8:10

God tells us not to look back
''forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" Phil 3:13-14

He tells us to keep our minds on good stuff
"whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is praiseworthy or excellent, think about such things" Phil4:8

I know exactly where you are Snowrose. You have forgiven these people but stuff still comes up. By the grace of God in time I was able to forgive my dad, . It takes time to give up those wounds and hurts, but the more we let go and give it to the Lord and ask him for Help, the easier it becames. I pray for you to have peace.

Keep on leaning on the Lord to give you strength and pray to him about these feelings you have. Praise Him for all the wonderul things that he has blessed you with. This takes the focus off us and onto Him.

I love these lines from a contemporary Christian song, it still makes me cry

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
I have a father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go.

Your friend in Christ
Heather

 

[Snowrose]

Hi calluna,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. You are right when you wrote:

"Keep on leaning on the Lord to give you strength and pray to him about these feelings you have. Praise Him for all the wonderul things that he has blessed you with. This takes the focus off us and onto Him."

Yesterday was really a good day but this annoying little bug showed up. I think understand why now. I went to visit a friend yesterday and told me of her burden - it was so similar to my past that I started to shake. Though our time together was of encouragement and prayer, this shadow came up. Again thank you for reminding me of what I need to hear and do.

Heavenly Father, when our hurts and fears can close our ears to your words of hope I thank you that you are still there on our behalf. Thank you for my sister Heather - for giving her the words I needed to hear. Bless her and meet all of her needs and we will give You all the glory.

When our hurts and fears come to cloud our minds and hearts, I ask that through your words of truth and light would tear down the roots so that only the image of Your Son Jesus remains. I give you all the glory and praise. Amen

 

[christiansis]

Dear Snowrose,
It is really incredibly easy to feel all alone in this world. It is also just as easy to think that no one knows how you feel. But, believe me nothing is further from the truth. I too am from an abusive childhood. My father was an alcoholic, abusing, butt of a man. He beat my mother and us children. My mother finally left him when I was 9 and I thought it would get better. But, it did not. Life got worse in other ways. My mother had no education and was trying to raise us 5 children by herself with a 10th grade education. She started dating other men (even married ones). I was then molested on 2 seperate occasions by her boyfriend. I told my mother the first time when I was 10 and she blamed it on me. To make a long story short I got married when I was 15 because my mother wanted it. Very bad mistake. My husband was 9 years older than me and he was also a drinker and abuser. I had my first child at 2 weeks before my 18th birthday and things really got bad. My husband became really violent and we fought all the time. He was much stronger than me and he would strangle me until I would pass out. I finally got the courage to leave when my son was 2 months old. I then got into a 7 year relationship with another man that was on the wagon. He did not drink because he knew he could not handle it. He was very jealous and dominating. We had 2 children together and he cheated on me constantly. He even cheated on me with his own 15 year old neice when she was staying with us to help take care of the children while I was working. That was his sister's daughter. I did not leave him but I told him I could not have a sexual relationship with him. It did not last long before he started taking what he wanted. He also would not work to support us. I did leave and found out that I was pregnant yet again. I was devestated. I did not finish High school and was now faced with supporting 4 children alone at 25. I got a government apartment and started nursing school so that I would be able to provide some kind of life for my children. Then he found out where we were and he showed up one night at our apartment and he was beating on my door. I answered the door and was argueing with him and he became overwhelmed with fury and he pulled out a butterfly knife and cut my throat. My neighbor had heard all the commotion and called the police and I was taken to the hospital. Thankfully God was not finished with me. He had plans for me that I had no clue of. I recovered from the events but fell hard into a bad depression. I could see no way out and I felt so very alone. I felt that no one on earth could possibly understand how I felt. But then GOD moved greatly in my life. I finally picked up a BIBLE and started reading it on my own. My mother was not a christian and had never tried to teach us about such things. I read and read and felt strength and peace starting to grow. I started just trying to concentrate on raising my children and going to church, but I still could not relate to many people. But, I continued to read on my own and grew spiritually and I learned what GOD thought of me and how much he loved me. I prayed and cried out to GOD. I complained and cried and prayed. Comfort did find me. I am now married and have been for 6 years to a very good man. We have had our struggles but I have never met a man so in love with GOD in my life. He had 2 girls that he was raising by himself (His wife had died). His youngest daughter is handicapped physically and mentally. He was doing the very best that he could but life was very hard for him also. The really amazing thing is that when I would cry out to GOD I prayed that he would bring me a husband that had 2 daughters that he was raising alone and I asked that 1 of them be handicapped. ( GOD KNOWS THIS TO BE ABSOLUTELY TRUE) I asked for those particular things because I wanted a man that would not molest my daughter and one that loves so much that he was willing to endure to raise his and my children. And I wanted him to need me as much as I needed him since I was now a nurse and worked with handicapped children. Believe it or not GOD heard every little detail of my prayer and after I became comfortable with myself and comfortable with my life with just him and me he blessed me in an overwhelming way and brought my husband into my life. I am now 40 and I know without a doubt that GOD does love me and he does heard our prayers. Don't give up, give in to GOD. He does see you and he will send exactly what you need exactly when you need it. With all my prayers I send you my love and my faith. PEACE and LOVE to all my brothers and sisters.

 

[Snowrose]

Greeting Christiansis,

What pure joy it is to not only to meet you but also what the Lord has done for you. Deep down I know that He does hear our prayers but there are days when there is more waves and wind that it is hard to see the shore. Believe me when I say that He is encouraging me to "Be still and know that he is God". Thank you dear sister for sharing your testimony with me and I pray that you too will grow deeper in the love and knowledge of Jesus Christ. God bless.

Best wishes,
Snowrose