Disobedient wifes

[DutchChristian]

Hello dear brothers and sisters,

What can i do about a disobedient wife?

That is if even verbal correction and / with Scripture do not seem to work, but she still keeps on going in disobedience.

How about giving a penalty like giving shores in and around the house, additional cleaning?

Is it ok to give a disobedient wife limitations for a while, like no contact with friends? I think it is ok. What is your experience? Wives can reply too, anyone here who has his/her advice?

What other ways does a good christian man have to correct a disobedient wife?

Anyone have effective methods that work?, if nothing works i'm thinking about spanking too as an option (on the bottom alone with bare hand)

The sin must be stopped!

 

[Acebopata]

With a wife, about the only think you can do is pray for her, talk to her about it peacefully, and Let the Holy Spirit do his work in her life. No, and I repeat, no amount of punishment is going to make her stop sinning, unless the punishment is issued by the Lord, and not by a human's hand.

I'd also suggest examining your own life. The reason she's taking sin so lightly may be because your taking sin so lightly. Or perhaps if she's disobeying you, your taking the whole Obey thing to far. A wife isn't a personal servant, but a partner that you trust to take care of you and your family while relying on you to giver her the proper leadership and provision she needs and deserves.

 

[Brad Huber]

The example we have is Jesus. If you know scripture, then you know how he treated His wife, the church... the full body of Christ. Treat her the same way.

 

[N8VFlower]

Seriously??? Not meaning to offend you, but why would you even consider treating your wife like that? If something she does bothers you talk to her, and pray about it. She is not your slave, and she is not your child, she is your helpmate, your lover, your best friend, your wife. Treat her like your wife, and in turn she will treat you like a husband. My husband would never treat me like a child or personal property and I would not treat him in such a way either.

 

[Furious_Love]

Hello DutchChristian, peace be with you brother. I am not really sure how you would like me to respond to your opening statements. I am favouring towards you stirring the pot to get reactions. If that is the case then you have got your responses and I guess it worked because so far you have four replies to date (including mine). Bless you NV8Flower for addressing Dutch with a woman's point of view. There needs to be more input from such strong hearted women who love the Lord on this site, sadly Lizabe has left us, she will be missed as I miss her.

DutchChristian as I don’t generally banter in many topics I will address this even if you are looking for a bite from someone as I believe there is a common misconception amongst many men who believe the way you described in your opening statement.

My wife would say to me gently go it. So I will be as gentle as you were to T-Man by rebuking him over the internet.
Do you really think your wife will adorn you and love you if you loard a position of superiority over her life. This type of behaviour removes your wife’s individualism as an equal to the point that this type of behaviour is reminiscent of Chauvinism leading eventually to brutalism (putting her over your knee...really are you serious??).

If you take your role as the head and protector of your household, then rather trying to control your wife by pointing out her failings over the internet you need to look within yourself and be a leader and lead and live by example. It is easier to point out each others flaws whilst there is a darn big oak tree protruding from your own self. Do you get my drift.

We are being perfected in Christ and all are flawed Dutch. Would you like our Lord to Loard it over you and point out your flaws for the world to see. There is a sanctity and privacy in marriage that starts back in Genesis. Be at peace as you share your life with your partner for life. There are a few people here on this site who have sadly divorced. Talk to them and ask them if they had a second chance to start again what would they do differently. You have the chance to search deep within yourself and ask yourself how can I love my wife more and cherish her and adore her, be besotted by her, be madly in love with her, take a bullet for her because that is what Jesus did, he took a bullet for us. There is a saying that love covers a multitude of sins. Jesus’ shed blood covers our sins Dutch. Can I make a suggestion and view your wife as Jesus viewed you.

Finally, it is common knowledge I love my wife, I have written about her with reason because God ordained us to be together for life. The vows we took we meant it. ‘In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer'. My love for my wife has only grown over the years to admiration and respect because she has had to put up with me. You have made that step of admitting you need help. Start with yourself mate then the rest will follow.

God Bless and all the best in your relationship. May it grow stronger in love, respect, admiration and forgiveness.

 

[kamiller1972]

Dearest Dutch,

Here's my input, Dear brother in Christ...you are not her master dear brother. You are her mate and partner. You are meant to love and protect her...and perhaps lead by example if she is falling far from the Lord. The only master either one of you have is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Follow His ways and perhaps she will follow you. You only need to reread the New Testament to know how a husband should treat his wife- with love and respect, dear brother...that is the way Jesus taught and as a child of Christ, it is His way that you should follow. Be blessed.

 

[DutchChristian]

Dear family in Christ Jesus,

I regret of not being more clear in my starting post and of being a bit blunt and a little bit disrespectful, unfortunately i cannot re-edit my starting post. So please bear with me this time and also i ask for your forgiveness, Also i should have stated that i am not a married person yet, but am researching on this subject to be prepared as a man for in a possible future period. Please forgive me for this.

Now my question is this: what if Adam strongly rebuked Eve instead of obeying her and loving her when she presented the fruit (from the tree that God forbade to eat from) to him instead of just standing by and loving her.


Please consider that thought for a moment dear brothers and sisters.

If Adam stepped up and rebuked his wife and did not obey her but rather obeyed God then that would have a lot different!

You see love can also mean a rebuke at times! Do not be fooled in this so called love love gospel... A man must at times be firm too towards his wife! If a wife is disobedient over and over again to her husband and the husband does not take control of the situation then God Will speak to the husband first! The man is responsible as the head of the wife, God gives the man the woman but the woman must not rule over the husband. So the husband for the benefit of the wife, himself and the marriage must if necessary at times step up and take the leadership role that God Has given him and give firm warning/rebuke done out of love.

The secular world and the devil says you can't do it that way, but i believe God wants the man to step up and take his leadership role of the house in love but also in rebuke when it is needed but of course only done in righteous judgement and love.

Also each man has his own responsibility to guide his family under the Headship of Christ by the Word of God. And not all men are the same neither are all women the same, neither is any couple the same you must know that some women are brought up in a very traditional family in which spanking was involved during their childhood and seen as perfectly normal. I can imagine that some of these women who marry want a man that will take firm control when necessary as with the example of disobedience over and over again, then the man must take a means (last resort spanking on the bottoms) that a man can use in my opinion if done with correction in peace and love not raging anger of course but with self-control. But this is not suitable for all couples nor for all men! nor towards all wives mind you! Also the wife must agree too in my opinion with this herself.

i am just saying this because too many marriages are falling apart because the man is not taking his leadership role as a man and does not dare to be firm at times and be the leader of his house as is the responsibility that was Given by The LORD to the man.

any other thoughts....?

 

[faithfulservant]

Hello dear brother. I have a question: Would you give yourself chores to do when you're not perfectly obedient to the LORD? We want to treat our wives like we would treat ourselves. Now for some advice:

You and your wife are one. That means she is a part of your ministry. It is very important that she is obedient to you, but you also must be willing to listen to here as the Spirit may speak through her at times to advise you and help. Talk to her about the importance of God's order of things. Wives have a tough time trusting their husbands because they see all our faults and weaknesses. What she needs to understand is that God's power does not rely upon our wisdom or strength. God is strong through someone, even if they are weak, as long as they trust Him and have faith. She needs to trust God, not you, and by trusting God she is trusting that He will work through you despite your weaknesses and faults.

Additionally, the more we line up with God's will, the more His power manifests through our ministry. So that's why it's crucial that she follows your lead in most matters (spiritual and otherwise). You need to love your wife like Jesus loves the bride. Do your best to meet her needs and humbly, not like an arrogant tyrant. Otherwise you are going against God's will and she will rebel even more.

Wash her with the Word of God regularly. You should be doing ongoing Bible studies together. The Word of God is supernatural in its working in the believer's heart. The more you're in it, the more it will change you and God's Spirit will work to sanctify you both.

May the LORD bless you both with obedience. In Jesus' name I pray.

Hello dear brothers and sisters,

What can i do about a disobedient wife?

That is if even verbal correction and / with Scripture do not seem to work, but she still keeps on going in disobedience.

How about giving a penalty like giving shores in and around the house, additional cleaning?

Is it ok to give a disobedient wife limitations for a while, like no contact with friends? I think it is ok. What is your experience? Wives can reply too, anyone here who has his/her advice?

What other ways does a good christian man have to correct a disobedient wife?

Anyone have effective methods that work?, if nothing works i'm thinking about spanking too as an option (on the bottom alone with bare hand)

The sin must be stopped!

 

[kamiller1972]

Let me just add, Dutch, that though the woman in question was raised with spanking in a traditional family, does not mean that, as an adult, you can force a spanking on her. Spanking (for some) is a means to teach a CHILD a lesson (spare the rod, spoil the child), but to force a spanking upon a woman is considered abuse now-a-days and probably would be considered so in a court of law ( in the States anyway, I am not familiar with your country's laws)...So please reconsider this whole spanking thing. It doesn't go over well with me as a woman-and as a woman I am offended by your way of handling this "woman not being obedient to her husband" issue.

Please reread the the words of Jesus and really think about this issue as a child of Jesus, not as a master of your would be wife. You are not her master, you are head of the household and you may be the decision maker, but you are not her master.

 

[Christ4Ever]

Dear family in Christ Jesus,

Also i should have stated that i am not a married person yet, but am researching on this subject to be prepared as a man for in a possible future period. Please forgive me for this.

i am just saying this because too many marriages are falling apart because the man is not taking his leadership role as a man and does not dare to be firm at times and be the leader of his house as is the responsibility that was Given by The LORD to the man.

i believe this to be Biblical Truth, any other thoughts....?

LOL Sorry brother I know that you are being serious, and want this to be given serious consideration which I will try to do. Then I will tell you why you had me laughing.

I've been married for 28yrs, and at times, it has been more reflective of a roller coaster ride. Continue on with this type of analogy. Our travels these last years together have become less the roller coaster than a leisurely ride in the country, in a land that neither of us have traveled before, but somehow seems familiar, whether the skies are fair or grey, with a knowledge that we both travel with the love of our Lord with us, ever guiding us through the Holy Spirit.

Because we are both believers, we also realize that neither one of us is perfect (Yet ) We've already been broken and remade, continuing to grow in the Lord, if at times at a different rate then the other. Keep in mind brother, you will not be able to anticipate every situation, and be prepared to handle in such, and such a way. I'm happy that you are giving it some thought, however, shaky you might have expressed it.

Here is where I have to ask you something. Not as God would correct us, when we stray, but have you seen a rebuke, or additional chores, or even a spanking, be of benefit to an adult woman or man for that matter, in getting sin out of their lives?

I'd also rethink the use of the word chores as well brother. It is not a chore to help my wife around the house, or clean up after a meal, after she's been cooking all day. No, not a chore, but a love gift on my part as appreciation for what she has done for me. So to use the word chore as a tool for correction, really isn't a good idea, since what each does around the house or even ones work, is a benefit to both, and should be done in love.

Should God bless you with a wife, as he has me, you'll find that sitting down and having a conversation and discussing issues, will have a greater and lasting affect then any corporal punishment one can come up with, and still retain the love each has for the other.

Keep in mind brother, just because I may be the spiritual head of the family doesn't mean that I don't go to my wife for spiritual help as well. Head of the family does not mean, King, or Tyrant either. The problem I'm sure you thinking is what if you're both adamant about going in different directions spirituality on some subject? Say like changing churches for instance. Guess what? You know who is there, and will help. That is the time that you get even closer, not further apart. You join in prayer together, asking for guidance. He will answer. Most if not all of the situations that can be brought up, work with that formula. When you happen to be in the heat of battle (Oh yeah, it happens. Sad, but true.) best is to separate yourself to allow the emotions to quiet down, and yes you got it. Do some praying, and hopefully she will be doing the same.

On the spanking issue. If you were spanked as an adult, don't you think you might be a little bit humiliated, embarrassed maybe? When these types of emotions happen, they can provide an opening to Satan to start using these feelings in a negative way. That is the last thing that you will want to happen in your home. A gentile rebuke really can just mean the way you phrase it to her. Are you sure you want to do that honey? If she does and it goes wrong, I don't say the worse words in the world "I told you so", no, because I love her, I hold her and tell her I love her and God will see us through it. Then a pray, might be in order, to lift her spirits, knowing that God is there supporting not only her, but you as well, because what affects one, affects both.

Just like when you feel the pain of a brother in sister in Christ here at TJ or any other place. You should be feeling that same pain for your wife, and cover her with all the love you have, because you are also covering yourself at the same time.

I hope this will help you some in putting into perspective, what it means to correct someone whom one day you may call your wife, and second only to the Trinity dear brother.

Now back to the smile that has returned to my face. I was imagining my wife's reaction if I would have attempted some of what you mentioned! However, I decided to ask my wife how she would have felt, if I had given her extra chores, or decided to spank her in order to correct sinful behavior on her part. After she stopped laughing, which by her expression had me joining in with her and just for that I thank you brother. Seeing her laugh gives me great joy!!! First she said, hold it I make more money then you (not really true, but close ), she gave me her pearl of wisdom and a question I in turn ask you to she how you would answer it. What does she get to do to me, if I fail in my leadership duties as a man of God? hummmmm

Keep in mind that Leadership, doesn't mean judge & executioner. It just means that you're putting God first in your families life which provides God the ability to use you to steer the ship, to His will and good purpose.

God bless brother, and since you're not married, may I suggest that you be praying for that special someone that God will bring into your life as your wife. Pray that if He should bless you with a wife that she may arrive with very little baggage, but that you also, may be pure and holy as well, so that your lives together may be a blessing not only to each other, but to others as well.
YBIC
C4E

 

[farout]

DutchChristian. I read your question. But then I got smart and looked at your profile. Then it hit me! You say in your profile you are single!!! This has to be a joke!!! No woman in her right mind would put up with such a uncaring jerk of a husband!!!!!!

If such a man came to me with such a real problem as you describe I would say that man has not got a clue how to love and cherrish his wife!!!!! A real loving husbannnd shows love and understanding , gets in involved and helps his wife. A wife is to be prized and cherrished!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For you who took this as a real question, ABUSE IS NEVER TO BE TOLLERATED THAT'S UNBIBLICAL*********AND MAY I ADD SINFUL!!!!!!!!!!!

No woman would marry a jerk like you described, The joke really iiis not too funny, some woman actually are trapped in such a loveless marrage. Like Muslim women live in this kind of hell.

 

[DutchChristian]

LOL Sorry brother I know that you are being serious, and want this to be given serious consideration which I will try to do. Then I will tell you why you had me laughing.

I've been married for 28yrs, and at times, it has been more reflective of a roller coaster ride. Continue on with this type of analogy. Our travels these last years together have become less the roller coaster than a leisurely ride in the country, in a land that neither of us have traveled before, but somehow seems familiar, whether the skies are fair or grey, with a knowledge that we both travel with the love of our Lord with us, ever guiding us through the Holy Spirit.

Because we are both believers, we also realize that neither one of us is perfect (Yet ) We've already been broken and remade, continuing to grow in the Lord, if at times at a different rate then the other. Keep in mind brother, you will not be able to anticipate every situation, and be prepared to handle in such, and such a way. I'm happy that you are giving it some thought, however, shaky you might have expressed it.

Here is where I have to ask you something. Not as God would correct us, when we stray, but have you seen a rebuke, or additional chores, or even a spanking, be of benefit to an adult woman or man for that matter, in getting sin out of their lives?

I'd also rethink the use of the word chores as well brother. It is not a chore to help my wife around the house, or clean up after a meal, after she's been cooking all day. No, not a chore, but a love gift on my part as appreciation for what she has done for me. So to use the word chore as a tool for correction, really isn't a good idea, since what each does around the house or even ones work, is a benefit to both, and should be done in love.

Should God bless you with a wife, as he has me, you'll find that sitting down and having a conversation and discussing issues, will have a greater and lasting affect then any corporal punishment one can come up with, and still retain the love each has for the other.

Keep in mind brother, just because I may be the spiritual head of the family doesn't mean that I don't go to my wife for spiritual help as well. Head of the family does not mean, King, or Tyrant either. The problem I'm sure you thinking is what if you're both adamant about going in different directions spirituality on some subject? Say like changing churches for instance. Guess what? You know who is there, and will help. That is the time that you get even closer, not further apart. You join in prayer together, asking for guidance. He will answer. Most if not all of the situations that can be brought up, work with that formula. When you happen to be in the heat of battle (Oh yeah, it happens. Sad, but true.) best is to separate yourself to allow the emotions to quiet down, and yes you got it. Do some praying, and hopefully she will be doing the same.

On the spanking issue. If you were spanked as an adult, don't you think you might be a little bit humiliated, embarrassed maybe? When these types of emotions happen, they can provide an opening to Satan to start using these feelings in a negative way. That is the last thing that you will want to happen in your home. A gentile rebuke really can just mean the way you phrase it to her. Are you sure you want to do that honey? If she does and it goes wrong, I don't say the worse words in the world "I told you so", no, because I love her, I hold her and tell her I love her and God will see us through it. Then a pray, might be in order, to lift her spirits, knowing that God is there supporting not only her, but you as well, because what affects one, affects both.

Just like when you feel the pain of a brother in sister in Christ here at TJ or any other place. You should be feeling that same pain for your wife, and cover her with all the love you have, because you are also covering yourself at the same time.

I hope this will help you some in putting into perspective, what it means to correct someone whom one day you may call your wife, and second only to the Trinity dear brother.

Now back to the smile that has returned to my face. I was imagining my wife's reaction if I would have attempted some of what you mentioned! However, I decided to ask my wife how she would have felt, if I had given her extra chores, or decided to spank her in order to correct sinful behavior on her part. After she stopped laughing, which by her expression had me joining in with her and just for that I thank you brother. Seeing her laugh gives me great joy!!! First she said, hold it I make more money then you (not really true, but close ), she gave me her pearl of wisdom and a question I in turn ask you to she how you would answer it. What does she get to do to me, if I fail in my leadership duties as a man of God? hummmmm

Keep in mind that Leadership, doesn't mean judge & executioner. It just means that you're putting God first in your families life which provides God the ability to use you to steer the ship, to His will and good purpose.

God bless brother, and since you're not married, may I suggest that you be praying for that special someone that God will bring into your life as your wife. Pray that if He should bless you with a wife that she may arrive with very little baggage, but that you also, may be pure and holy as well, so that your lives together may be a blessing not only to each other, but to others as well.
YBIC
C4E

Thank you dear brother! i love you!

I love your post and you are so kind and agape loving toward me, May The LORD confirm your salvation again to you amen and amen

"What does she get to do to me, if I fail in my leadership duties as a man of God?" Now that is a great question from your wife.

The LORD Bless you brother, i will rethink some more about my thoughts on this subject, researching is good and in the multitude of counsellors there is safety

 

[DutchChristian]

DutchChristian. I read your question. But then I got smart and looked at your profile. Then it hit me! You say in your profile you are single!!! This has to be a joke!!! No woman in her right mind would put up with such a uncaring jerk of a husband!!!!!!

If such a man came to me with such a real problem as you describe I would say that man has not got a clue how to love and cherrish his wife!!!!! A real loving husbannnd shows love and understanding , gets in involved and helps his wife. A wife is to be prized and cherrished!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For you who took this as a real question, ABUSE IS NEVER TO BE TOLLERATED THAT'S UNBIBLICAL*********AND MAY I ADD SINFUL!!!!!!!!!!!

No woman would marry a jerk like you described, The joke really iiis not too funny, some woman actually are trapped in such a loveless marrage. Like Muslim women live in this kind of hell.

Peace be with you

 

[DutchChristian]

Hello dear brother. I have a question: Would you give yourself chores to do when you're not perfectly obedient to the LORD? We want to treat our wives like we would treat ourselves. Now for some advice:

You and your wife are one. That means she is a part of your ministry. It is very important that she is obedient to you, but you also must be willing to listen to here as the Spirit may speak through her at times to advise you and help. Talk to her about the importance of God's order of things. Wives have a tough time trusting their husbands because they see all our faults and weaknesses. What she needs to understand is that God's power does not rely upon our wisdom or strength. God is strong through someone, even if they are weak, as long as they trust Him and have faith. She needs to trust God, not you, and by trusting God she is trusting that He will work through you despite your weaknesses and faults.

Additionally, the more we line up with God's will, the more His power manifests through our ministry. So that's why it's crucial that she follows your lead in most matters (spiritual and otherwise). You need to love your wife like Jesus loves the bride. Do your best to meet her needs and humbly, not like an arrogant tyrant. Otherwise you are going against God's will and she will rebel even more.

Wash her with the Word of God regularly. You should be doing ongoing Bible studies together. The Word of God is supernatural in its working in the believer's heart. The more you're in it, the more it will change you and God's Spirit will work to sanctify you both.

May the LORD bless you both with obedience. In Jesus' name I pray.

Good point dear brother. i love you thanks for your great advice thanks!

May The LORD Bless you and your family today

amen and amen

 

[DutchChristian]

Let me just add, Dutch, that though the woman in question was raised with spanking in a traditional family, does not mean that, as an adult, you can force a spanking on her. Spanking (for some) is a means to teach a CHILD a lesson (spare the rod, spoil the child), but to force a spanking upon a woman is considered abuse now-a-days and probably would be considered so in a court of law ( in the States anyway, I am not familiar with your country's laws)...So please reconsider this whole spanking thing. It doesn't go over well with me as a woman-and as a woman I am offended by your way of handling this "woman not being obedient to her husband" issue.

Please reread the the words of Jesus and really think about this issue as a child of Jesus, not as a master of your would be wife. You are not her master, you are head of the household and you may be the decision maker, but you are not her master.

Dear sister thanks for your replies.

What if the man and wife both are in agreement that this works for them and are in mutual consent? Then that is their business isn't it. They have probably not necessarily sinned to God if done in a correct way i believe.

But let's talk about rebuke:

What if Adam gave Eve a strong rebuke of her disobedience towards GOD instead of obeying Eve rather then GOD and going together with her into even more disobedience! Now you can perhaps understand what i mean? A rebuke is not wrong it can be good and necessary if needed.

May God Bless you,
dutchchristian

 

[Michelle71]

Feminism really has overran the western societies. The pendulum seems to have swung from the harsh rule of men over women to the femi-nazi stand of women wanting to rule over men. Now, in some legalistic churches the swing is back to men having the rule over women in such a way that they are oppressed and not able to give a voice at all. Satan is in extremes.

The idea that men should not rebuke women for sin is one reason that modern society has bred wimpy men who will not stand up for what is right. Women should not dominate their husbands, but come along side them in support of what they are doing in life whether that be spiritual or physical work. That does not mean that they should be doormats, though. Any decent man will take his wife's views into consideration.

The way each spouse deals with the sin in the other can be an unspoken thing. Silent treatments about the subject can actually be quite effective for both to pray and think about what is going on. When repentance is seen then forgiveness is given from the other side. Sometimes the spouse that has to bear with the other has to go through some very hard times of bearing with while the other is learning the outcome of that decision. This works both ways, not only when the wife sins, but when the husband sins. The thing to keep in mind is that we cannot change people, or change what they are dead set on doing. The only thing each person has control over is their own reaction to the sin in others. To guard our own hearts so that very sin we see in the spouse, we do not also fall into like Adam did.

The best way to rebuke someone for their sin, is to show them that sin in someone else, or in another situation etc. Show them who they are by holding up a mirror in indirect ways so they may realize what they are doing and the consequences for their actions. The best corrections are those natural consequences for sin. Things can be set up around the person to show them where they are going off track as well that would serve as a rebuke without the rebuke coming directly from one spouses mouth to the other's ear in a degrading way causing anger and a wedge to come between them.

Spankings are natural consequences for sin. I suppose if both parties agree that physical spankings should be the course of action, then what is good for the goose should also be good for the gander. The wife should also be able to spank the husband as well when he sins.

Maybe if Adam would have turned heal and removed himself from the situation when Eve was going for building her own kingdom, then things would have turned out differently. But then again, maybe there was a reason God allowed those things to happen. If children are not allowed to make those bad choices, and see what that sin will do for them, then the lessons would never have been learned. Souls would not really understand who God really is, how gracious, merciful, and patient. Through those consequences a person can learn a whole lot more about God's standards etc. The husband and wife are joined, so then, each of their sins affect the other one. It is a journey of bearing with each other. Warn when each other sees a danger ahead, allow for growth, support and forgiveness when one finds themselves as a splat on the road. Actually the functioning of marriage should be exemplified by how members of the Body of Christ should operate with each other. This life is not easy and future consequences of each decision made is not always clear. That is where the promise of Romans 8:28 is stood on.

 

[kamiller1972]

I suppose if it was agreed upon, then that would be something totally different and I apologize for kind of jumping the gun there. But, honestly, I don't know of any woman that would agree to that sort of thing. Rebuking just sounds too harsh, dear brother. Discussion is more of an appropriate means, in my opinion. But, again...if it was agreed upon before (the rebuking, spanking, etc...) then I have no argument.

I apologize for getting a little steamed with the whole spanking thing since you did state that it would have to be agreed upon by both parties...I've been in an abusive situation before, and that whole spanking issue kind of got to me, so please forgive me dear brother.

But, like so many others here, I think discussion and prayer are the best ways to handle the sort of situation you're talking about.

Be blessed dear brother.

 

[Michelle71]

I don't know of any woman that would agree to that sort of thing.

Wouldn't you like to meet that special gal if he finds one who would agree to that. lol

 

[kamiller1972]

Wouldn't you like to meet that special gal if he finds one who would agree to that. lol

Haha...that would be something indeed, lol.

 

[Arnold J.Rimmer]

Greetings, Nederlander.

If you decide to raise your hand against your wife, the consequences might not be the ones you're envisioning.
Being quite familiar with Dutch jurisprudence and the contemporary views of the Dutch on domestic abuse, I can tell you that you are likely to get arrested, and the institutions dealing with women in these situations will very likely urge her to consider divorce as a possible solution to her predicament.
So please consider these matters before you resort to physical violence.

On a general note, there is no doubt that your opinions on the status of women, unfashionable as they may be, are backed up by Scripture.

But it may be helpful if you would share with us how exactly your wife is being disobedient and obstinate.

Arnold