Divorce is terrible

[frustrated]

Ok so here's the scenario. My wife has been Christian for some time. She divorced me in 2012 because I was unfaithful prior to 2008, and not a Christian. I thought she had forgiven me and we we're over that hump. I know the hurt may never go away but I thought I was forgiven. I tried to win her back and we were friendly. Our kids were well taken care of. I did eventually choose to follow Christ. Things have taken a turn for the worse. She has started to see a new man my kids do not like and refuse to be around which means I need to get involved and get them. She says she's doing this because she didn't love me in 12 years of marriage and will not forgive me. I have spoken to our pastor on this and he prays for reconciliation but she adamantly refuses because she now claims she didn't love me and will not forgive me. She claims Satan in working in me and I'm trying to hurt her by turning the kids and others away from her. I think it's because I am with God on this and she only thinks she is. The truth is the kids want us to be together and can't stand what's happening and don't want to be around this guy. They are teens and can reasonably understand what's happening.

I love this woman. I stopped being unfaithful a long time ago. I turned to Jesus. I took care of her and even carried her when her MS was struck her. I've gone above and beyond the court order helping my family and still doting on her for birthdays and Valentines day. She told me she loved me in the past when we slept in each others arms, and this was after she filed! I have prayed and prayed on this and I believe He and friends/family are giving me the resolve to keep trying.

Two things,
1. I am a mess. I am so sad by all of this and don't want my kids to see what a mess this has made me. Is there a Bible verse I should be looking to help guide me in dealing with this crisis?

2. Am I doing anything Satanic? Is it me?

Thanks for reading.

 

[Brighthouse]

Good brother frustrated. There are many people as you know who claim to be a christian( James 2:19) claiming to be one does not make you one,as you can plainly see for yourself! As far as forgiveness goes, please do take a gander at this.( matt 18:21-35!!) If this were not bad enough she looks to heap condemnation upon you, when Jesus said this about you!! ( rom 8:1) Now on the other side of the fence as you also well know, one can be forgiven, but there still can be a consequence to a sin committed.

The suffering that can go with the consequence can last for as long as you yourself do not depend upon God's word for relief. For self cannot remove the consequence in ones own mind, the Word does this! Replaces thoughts,to give you much better ones!!( rom 12:1-2)(2 cor 10:4!!!-7) The fortresses we are looking to destroy only come by thinking upon what Jesus says, more then about how we feel!( phil 4:6-9!) All sin before it ever becomes an action starts in our mind bro,so it is our mind we really need to pay attention to!

We have become to in touch with feeling and emotion rather then on depending upon our Lord and his Word. And we learn the hard way from our actions,for look at the results! But take heart brother!! If i change, we all can! But change can only come by depending on the only one who already has supplied our needs!!Jesus!( phil 4:19) Our job is to believe this! It is not that you do not have faith,it is rather the belief of ones own faith, that can cause us to stumble around like a drunken man,believing in ones heart,but not in ones own mind.( example mark 9:23-24)

You have no power to change her bro,but you do have the power Jesus gave you, to change you!( luke 10:19) I would start there good brother! It takes time bro,no one gets to the mountain top over night,but one can never get there, unless one is willing to make the journey to get there! The Lord will indeed help you! He will provide the way of escape for you!!( 1 cor 10:13) But you have to believe he not only will, but has! I can't, is not an option,nor is the word try. Two words you first wish to get out of your head as quick as possible! I know!! LOL

Can't?? ( luke 1:37) And try? Try is a word used in an attempt,not in belief! The word means one is doing something he or she will probably fail in.A terrible mindset bro!! had this for years myself! ( col 3:2) Let God fix you and your mind,and let him be concerned about her. As far as the children bro,since they are old enough to reason,i would never speak bad about your wife to them,i would say God is working on me( phil 1:6) and though i know life is not fair,and you guys should not be put through this,I love you, and am doing my very best, to help you, as well get through this,and together, with our lord Jesus who loves us,and who we depend upon,victory, although not seen by our eyes right now,has already been provided for each of us!( 2 cor 4:7-18!!!!)

What you children hear must be confirmed by the actions one takes from there words,please do remember that bro! You sure have my prayers and comfort from the Lord in me!!( 2 cor 1:3-7) I hope I have given you something to take with you,i only ask you to consider these words, as I do not know you at all. I judge you not! My hope is that you will do these things for your children sake,and indeed for your own mindset. Blessing to you!

 

[Brighthouse]

I thought I was done brother frustrated, but the Lord in me wanted to make one more point to you. Hebrews 4:16!!! Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace,so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need!
psalm 100:5!! For the Lord is GOOD;his lovingkindness is everlasting and HIS faithfulness to ALL Generations! Blessing brother.

 

[frustrated]

I appreciate the help. I still feel horrible. My kids don't want to go home and meet this guy ever again. I will just live for God 1 st and maybe in time she can trust me again. Or she won't ever be with me. I don't know. Our pastor said it would be a miracle but I need to show everyone especially her I can be trusted. Still don't know what to do about custody. I'm praying I don't do something really stupid like confront this guy because that would be bad...

 

[Brad Huber]

I'm praying I don't do something really stupid like confront this guy because that would be bad...

Yes, that would indeed be bad. You cannot force anyone to love you. God doesnt force us to love Him, and His love is perfect. Focus on your own relationship to the Lord and on being a good father to your children, accept that you may never be reconciled to your ex wife, but hope in it never the less.