Don't Wait To Make An Impression

[dannibear]

While listening to a Christian radio station
here in the sunny beach town of New Smyrna Beach,
the two broadcasters were talking about someone's
latest book on godly parenting when something
struck my mind, and I immediately stopped what I
was doing to hear.

Children are like wet cement. The things you say
to a child now can impact their life forever.
If you wait too long, you will need a hammer and
chisel to get through them. And when they become
adults, you will need dynamite. Take the time
now to compliment and encourage them more than
you discipline them. Tell them often, "Your God's gift
to me, your becoming a fine man/woman, that is
such a great talent, please show me what you did
again it was impressive, etc."

For parents on this site, I can tell you that
this is true. We remember more when you
insult us, we remember how we were disciplined.
When our ears hear encouragement more
than anger filled words, we grow up more with
confidence.

Hope this was as read as it was for me. xoxo

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Thank you for posting this dannibear.

It has provoked so many thoughts for me as a mum of four girls.

We are precious to Jesus as His children
May we always strive to treat our children as beautifuly as Jesus treats us.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering
Colossians 3:12

 

[Peace Seeker]

Children are like wet cement. The things you say to a child now can impact their life forever. If you wait too long, you will need a hammer and chisel to get through them. And when they become adults, you will need dynamite. Take the time now to compliment and encourage them more than you discipline them. Tell them often, "Your God's gift to me, your becoming a fine man/woman, that is such a great talent, please show me what you did again it was impressive, etc."

As someone who came from a very abusive home I can say this hits the nail on the head, thanks for sharing.

 

[dannibear]

I also came from an abusive home. There was a
lot of screaming, bad examples, and name calling.
I was often called a white B word by my mother's
boyfriend. I would hear that I am stupid, I am ugly,
I am weak. When I made straight A's every year
in elementary school, I would take my report card
home and they would toss it aside. Yet as I list
these things, I don't remember much of "Good Job"
or even "I love you".

Here is a link to the book if anyone is interested.
The author was also abused as a child, but uses
his past as a way to help others.
Amazon.com: Just a Minute: In the Heart of a Child, One Moment ... Can Last Forever (9780802404725): Dr. Wess Stafford, Dean Merrill: Books

 

[Brother Mike]

It can stop, here with us.

I grew up with an alcoholic Dad I could never please, always something negative to say about me. Split home, on and on.

I did not recover from that until 4 years after getting saved. bitterness, and junk.

Now, so what............

I know who my real father is now. Sure lots better than my Biological father.

My kids only hear faith. Doubt and unbelief is not allowed in our home. Never are they told they could be hit and killed by some car if they don't look both ways.. Dumb, I expect them just look, They get the picture.

The only thing they can get in trouble for at home is deception, lying, and dishonesty. I fix rebellion real quick. I am not concerned if they ruin a whole dinning room table with a ink pen. My Daughter did that one. Guess I should have been paying attention more. Least the wife seems to think that.

The good news is, we don't have to carry that curse forward to our own children. The cycle "STARTS" to breaks when our relationship with Jesus begins, and gets stronger.


Jesus Is Lord.

 

[Brighthouse]

Thanks dannibear,! There is no question that words matter much!! Being young, or old! I noticed that when I was very young and those same words hit me,it was if I was being hit by a brick at times. I believe the reason for this was because I believed it! I figured since they were much older then me,they must be right as well?

I mean why would they say such words to me? This of course affected me greatly,as it does all of us! Words take root,and spring up, what seed was planted in us at that time. What is a flower to some,is a weed to us!

As we find the Lord,or in some cases he finds us!!He helps us pull up those weeds. He plants love in us,and tells us, we are forgiven and most of all loved! He plants a new seed to us, and in us,now a new creature in him!( 2 Cor 5:17) He says to us,I know how tough it has been,and you know how tough it has been,so go forth now in me,and help others to know.

Give them the same hope and love I gave you. You see my child,that is what makes you a conquer in me!( rom 8:35-39) And so dannibear, that is just what you have done here! We are so glad for you,and thankful you always have a kind word for us. Jesus is seen in the words we use,this can only be possible because Jesus lives in us! Thanks for letting us SEE Jesus in you!! amen!

 

[SpiritLedEd]

I remember a Saturday afternoon when, in an attempt to arrange some acivity to occupy a bored little boy's mind, my mother sent me outdoors with instructions to tell my father to show me something to do to help him with a work project he was engaged in. His response cut through my heart like a sword: "If I have to show you, I'd rather do it myself!" My dad did his best to be a good dad and as an adult I forgave him, but that remark drove a wedge between us that was never removed. When he died more than sixty years later, we had a good relationship, but the father-son emotional bond wasn't there. As I write this I'm 75 years old and to this day remembering that afternoon brings a measure of pain.

SLE

 

[Brother Mike]

Brother Ed.

Hey brother Ed, is that good to hold onto? What can be done?

What happened between you and your dad seemed pretty petty, why remember that one so vivid?

My dad did some real dumb things, home drunk all the time, tried to take a shower in the closet, cursing the turning of the hangers because the water would not come out. The times I got smacked, knocked down.


Those don't really stand out that much though ED.

When about 10 I saved all my money .50 cents a week in allowance and bought my dad a new razor to cut through boxes. I remember back a few months ago dad was in the Garage looking for one.

It was my Dad's birthday and I wrapped it and presented to him. He opened it, just glanced at it and tossed it on a table. He mumbled "Whatever, now I am trying to watch the ballgame."

I know that sound pretty petty also, but it's the one thing that still bugs me today inside. The one thing I remember most.

As Believers we should not even consider this stuff, and truly I don't, except that one thing, it's still with me.

Thank you for Sharing that ED, I suppose if you knew why that was so powerfully Hurtful to you then we could get it solved. 30 some years later it still is in my mind, and I don't know why.

Jesus Is Lord.

 

[Brighthouse]

Brother Ed. I sure understand! I wish I could say, that the pain was gone after my dad died,but it only increased! WHY?? Because I did not want to let go of it. After Jesus came into my life,I thought he would take the pain away as well!

It took me 8 long years to understand, he did,I just had to! You see i wanted to keep it,it was my pain,and I did not want to let it go.I had every right to have it,and so, I kept it!

Even in my stupidity Jesus was most kind to me. He knew how hard headed I was. And he knew I had the right to keep the pain I wanted as well. So he took me into his Word, day, after day,to show me a more excellent way!( 1 Cor 12:31) Love is a most hard concept when you have never known it,or understood it as a child.

But now having a real Father,I had much to learn,so I could understand.Wisdom from our Lord brings knowledge,and knowledge can be acted upon only when one gains the understanding of that wisdom from such a loving Father.

It took me 8 years!! Did it have to take this long?? Well as we both know each of us has a life that no other can measure unless they are in our shoes. 8 was better then 9. Could have been shorter,but back then I was a very slow learner. hehe. I am 58 now,and what I choose to remember about my pain, is that Jesus took it away. I finally let him!

If we look back to the past,we can indeed turn to a pillar of salt.( Gen 19:26) We do not mean to,it is just we wish to have a reason to hold back our love.Just in case!! Jesus taught me that in love, there is nothing to hold back,because like anything else we give to another,we do this because we choose to do it,not because we have to do it.

And through our Lord and Savior,we find that which we do give through him, comes back to us many more times,so why not give it! I have said so many times that the Word of God is my life,I say this brother because the Word of God is the closest part to Jesus that I can now attain.

And from his Word love and life have been sealed up within me. I must tell you this,it sure has been worth all the stuff I have gone through to keep him! How bad we want something depends a great deal on how much we believe we need something. I needed Jesus! I sure am glad for us both, he also needed us!! Blessing to you Ed!

 

[Truehearts]

Oh dear DanniBear thanks for sharing this, I dont understand how but it gave me in a relief in a way. I have my share of experiences with hurtful words, especially with my father, sometimes I think I also learned use them as a defense mechanism to others. And I hate myself for doing so, growing up with all the yelling, I have been a loner. I prefer having my time alone, isolating myself, feeling inferior... I know my parents never intended it, but whenever I witness them fighting, saying stuffs to each other, blaming each other... it has just been traumatic. I remember one of my earliest memory as a child was I need to quit playing with other children because I have to rush home hearing my parents fighting. I was so terrified... especially when there was physical hurting. So, although all those are in the past, it made a huge impact in my life.

It would also really mean a lot if parents don't show their kids how they argue or fight. Develop a loving atmosphere, a comfortable place, where kids know they're safe and disciplined out of love not mistakes. :embarasse

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love
Jeremiah 31:3

dannibear, SpiritLedEd, Truehearts

Your words touch my heart and I can personally relate to the things that you say here

May the Lord's beautiful tender love fill and disolve all the pain and hurtful memories of those parts of your childhood.

May these deep seated hurts melt away as you Praise the Lord for His amazing love and mercy

Our biological parents may have at times let us down..and left a negative impression....but we know with a certain ressurance that the Lord's love is unfailing.

May the Lord bless you all


Lift your praises up high considering what our heavenly father and His dear Son endured for us:

From CH Spurgeon, Immeasurable Love
If you desire to see the love of God in this...... consider how He gave His Son.......
He gave His Son to exile among men.
He sent Him down to yonder manger, united with a perfect manhood, which at the first was in an infant's form.
There He slept, where horned oxen fed!
The Lord God sent the heir of all things to toil in a carpenter's shop: to drive the nail, and push the plane, and use the saw.
He sent Him down amongst scribes and Pharisees, whose cunning eyes watched Him, and whose cruel tongues scourged Him with base slanders.
He sent him down to hunger, and thirst, amid poverty so dire that He had not where to lay His head.
He sent Him down to the scourging and the crowning with thorns, to the giving of His back to the smiters and His cheeks to those that plucked off the hair.
At length He gave Him up to death—a felon's death, the death of the crucified.
Behold that cross and see the anguish of Him that dies upon it, and mark how the Father has so given Him, that He hides His face from Him, and seems as if he would not own Him!
"Lama sabachthani" tells us how fully God gave His Son to ransom the souls of the sinful.
He gave Him to be made a curse for us; gave Him that He might die "the just for the unjust, to bring us to God."