Hi Mel, I hate to be be a prophet of doom but I found your post quite distressing. You say that you have an addiction but you can't seem to bring yourself to even admit what the addiction is and there is nothing in there that tells me you want to to escape or overcome your addiction. I really and sincerely hope that I'm wrong.
Addiction is the surrender of your mind and body to Satan. He takes over and has full control of you, often to the exclusion of everybody and everything else. IMO you cannot have a meaningful relationship with God whilst under this addiction. I urge and beg and implore you to crack this addiction, it will not happen on its own and it will not simply just get better.
If you really want to get rid of this addiction then there are going to be groups and organisations near you that you must seek help from. It would help if you started going back to church, though I would suggest you find one that's quite big with a good level of pastoral support that you could call upon. Hopefully one where the minister, vicar, pastor could arrange for a member that lives near you to befriend and support you.
If you love Jesus and/or yourself you'll really deep down want to beat this addiction. If you reach out to God and seek His help by immersing yourself in almost constant prayer, asking God to get you through this that'll improve your chances greatly but at the end of the day it has to be something that you want, you must want to reclaim control of your life, and then if you want that help and relationship with God you can give Him control of your life by telling Him you regret all your sins (not just your addiction, all of them) and asking for Him to save you from the consequences of sin and promising to follow Him.
Mel, this might sound a bit weird but I do love you. I really really hope that we can become brother and sister in Jesus and both of us enjoy God's incredible love and care, quite literally, for ever!! God loves you to and He's calling you loud and clear:
All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:27-30
And
But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name. John 1:12
If you'll take on board this advice I promise you there'll be no doom, just a lovely bright future. It'll be hard but you'll have someone with you that's all powerful and in control.
Please Mel, have a really good long hard think about this, and then pray.
Please keep us posted and feel free to PM me if you want.
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Dear Lord God, I do pray for dear Mel. I pray father God that through your Holy Spirit you'll give her the desire to want your deliverance from this addiction and of course from the terrible consequences of her other sins. I pray Lord for guidance, lead her towards you, with help from organisations and of course your church.
Amen.