Failed and not trying again

[jari]

Hi all, I have a problem which I decided to ask help in here because I dont want to talk to the pastors nor anyone at my church, for an particualar reason.
Well the main problem is that I'm afraid of failing with people, you see I was saved at home when Jesus called me one night. Now i have prayed that I would become "social" because I'm not at all social because I dont meet anyone.
But I was struct down by such words I heard from people saying I'm wierd and I am widely judged because of my tired countence, even there isnt sin in my life, like people think there is.
I'm frustrated and scared of every one.
I know Jesus can deliver me from all my fears but the fear of not being accepted or judged is overwhelming.

Thanks for listening!

 

[Faithful Son]

Hi Jari I don't know much to say to you to make you feel better, but I can share in your feelings. Paul told is in the Bible to share in each others pains and sorrows as well each others joy, so I'll do that with you.

You won't believe it, but we are the same and I'm not just saying it.

My closest friends and closest family tell me I'm weird. My friends think I am gay because of the way I communicate with my hands when I speak, my voice is absolutely normal however and my attitude is that of a Christian.

I always look tired and worn out. The lady who I worked for the past month told me I looked like I was on drugs, which I'm not.

Scared of being judged? I'm the same, but the difference is between you and me, I don't care if people judge me, it's not that I enjoy it when I get judged, on the contrary, I feel sad, lonely and I really want to convince the other person I'm not an idiot, but it never works out that way.

The Bible also says, if God is for us, who can be against us and that is one of my mottos. If someone is rude to me, treats me like I'm not worthy of living (which has happened a lot these past 3 months), then I just say those words to myself, "If God is for me, who can be against me".

You will always be judged and ridiculed, so will I. God made me a certain way and I can't change that. I can learn from Him and grow, but the way I am hard wired deep down can never be changed.

I think we both should thank God for saving us from the pityful creatures we once were and we should keep our hearts and minds focussed on Him at all times.

I'll post an article soon dealing with the fact that we as Christians share in the burden of the Cross, it's Biblical and it's very interesting, but I have to type it first and get my facts straight. In the meantime, read Mattew 5 sometime, it will give you some peace at least.

God bless
Much love
Faithful Son

 

[Chad]

Brother Faithful Son hit the nail on the head from experience. Not sure if I can add anything. However, I can tell you there is no point in fearing people. Why? They are sinners just like you who *equally* deserve hell just like you and I, yet equally loved by GOD just like you and I.

Here is what the Scripture says about gossip (aka, slander):

2 Corinthians 12:19-21

19Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? It is^(A) in the sight of God that we have been speaking in Christ, and^(B) all for your upbuilding, beloved. 20For I fear that perhaps^(C) when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder. 21I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those^(D) who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity,^(E) sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.

These people who gossip about you are in serious danger of judgment. GOD warned us of gossip, even one of the commandments tells us not to do such.

Exodus 20:16

"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Romans 1:29-32

29They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Though they know^(A) God’s decree that those who practice such things^(B) deserve to die, they not only do them but^(C) give approval to those who practice them.

Proverbs 18:7-8

7^(A) A fool’s mouth is his ruin,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.
8^(B) The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
they go down into^(C) the inner parts of the body.

You know what you can do? Pray for them. GOD says we should pray for our enemies.

Matthew 5:43-45

^(B) 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I say to you,^(C) Love your enemies and^(D) pray for those who persecute you, 45^(E) so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and^(F) sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

 

[jari]

I'm "enlighted" to see that we think the same. You FS actually have same background as I do. And Chad those verses help!

 

[prayingman]

Listen to the Lord not man

Jari, i understand that many times during our walks in life we are faced with so many that wants to judge us, but they must look on the inside first before looking on the outside. Thru Jesus Christ w can overcome all things in this world. Many time confessing Jesus to some will tend to make us stand on our own and we fill so alone, but we are not alone, the comforter is with us , so hold fast the prfession of you faith, be not discoraged for they they discorage you is only hurting themselves, and need to get close to Jesus.We dont what to put hatred in anyones heart for we must Love them as Jesus did, and just let your light shine on, just as you have been doing, and matbe thru you one day they will se how glrius and loving the Lord Jesus Christ truely is, may his blessing upon you be beyond measure thru the faith you have in him. Brother in Christ Jesus, Rev> Kendall Adkins

 

[Chad]

Some more Scripture that will really seal the point if your heart is open to GOD's Word.

Jesus was crucified by His enemies, yet He forgave them on the spot in prayer while He was on the Cross. That is the utmost expression of love and forgiveness for an enemy you can possibly witness following the actual death on the Cross itself for payment of sins.

Luke 23:33-35

33^(A) And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals,^(B) one on his right and one on his left. 34And Jesus said, "Father,^(C) forgive them,^(D) for they know not what they do."^[a] And they cast lots^(E) to divide his garments. 35And^(F) the people stood by, watching,^(G) but^(H) the rulers^(I) scoffed at him, saying,^(J) "He saved others;^(K) let him save himself,^(L) if he is^(M) the Christ of God,^(N) his Chosen One!"

Also, forgiveness is not a choice if you want to be forgiven for your sins by GOD.

John 20:23
If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld."

Matthew 6:14-15

14^(A) For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15^(B) but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

I am so glad that Jesus accepts us just as we are. Romans 8.38 Nothing will separate us from the love of God. God alone knows our hearts and Jesus knows what we go through in life as He had that experience when he came to earth to live and die for us. He is with us through all the storms of life too. He will never leave us or forsake us. Heb.13.5

He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Prov.18.24

Death and life is in the power of the tongue. Prov.18.21

God bless

LLJ :rainbow: :rose:

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings Jari,

Do you mind if I laugh?

Well, I am anyway.... so people think you're wierd..... ha ha ha! They haven't met me!!! Ha ha ha!

Honestly Jari....don't worry about it.
You are more than wierd to the world when you become a Christian because you suddenly have life and can rejoice in times when others crumble. If folks who attend a church think you're wierd, then see it as an excellent opportunity to pray for them and bless them. They would seem to have their thinking mixed up in the world and in their flesh, perhaps.

Laugh with me, Jari. Send them my way so they can re-define what wierd is. Listen to the Lord and everything He says about you. There will always be people who judge and mock until the Lord returns. Most people are scared of anything different from their own security, different from what they think or know. Have a think how God handles everyone....the world is full of different people, many more differences than any of us could ever fathom. BUT, there are those who are counted amongst the Church, the body of Christ, who are the most different of them all. We are a peculiar people...end of story!
Consider this too.... does the shed blood of Jesus cover everyone? YES.

You said:

I'm frustrated and scared of every one.
I know Jesus can deliver me from all my fears but the fear of not being accepted or judged is overwhelming.

Look to Jesus...seek His face. He loves YOU. There is nothing more perfect than the love of God in Christ Jesus and rest assured that perfect love casts out fear. Yes, in Jesus there is complete deliverance from all evil. So, seek Him, worship Him, love Him and adore Him....remembering the marvelous truth that He first loved you and that is why you can love Him. Can I suggest you become overwhelmed with His eternal love. Allow His peace to rule in your whole life. It is much stronger than any fear can ever be...and it is lasting and pure.

You also said:

Well the main problem is that I'm afraid of failing with people

What most people don't realise is that nearly everyone is afraid of that. People can appear very confident amongst themselves, in familiar territory, but put them in a different place and they will switch to self preservation pretty quickly and will be concerned what others think. So, Jari, remember that if ever you feel a bit worried about other people and being accepted, that they are feeling the same way, even if they don't show it. It is common to man to want to be accepted, and many put on a brave front that they hope will keep them accepted and safe from their fears. People make others feel insecure as a way to maintain their own feeble security. BUT, your security is with God in Jesus Christ. In Jesus you have no need to fear anyones acceptance...just shine and they will let down their guard and feel safe with you. You're a child of the King and by thanksgiving and praise, you are acceptable to Him.

And, have a chuckle with me next time any fears arise.... laugh because He loves you and any effort against you from anywhere or any one or anything is powerless as you are loved by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
The devil is a deciever and will do his best to trick you into thinking you are overwhelmed by fears. Give no place to the devil and he will flee from you.

Jesus is your Rock and Fortress and you are safe in Him. You can rejoice all day, forever, in His love.

Bless you,

Br. Bear

 

[jari]

Thank you all for the replies, I read them through all.
I figure it would not ever have upset me if I would have seen Jesus on the cross. Like Chad pointed out, He yelled for forgiveness for those who hated Him.
First I was able to forgive, but then In some point I did mistakes in life that made me go away from God and I started looking more into people than to God. So I forgot my first love.

I now know that I just must trust in His grace and that He will deliever me from all who judge me, like He always has. But I started drowning after walking a while on water, you know, like Peter.

Thank you for your prayers, I'm feeling much better!
This whole thread has been like my thoughts put on paper.


God bless.

 

[Mike Scott]

Hey Jari
I have had to rely on the one true counsellor who is like no one else. If you are willing to ask Him he will answer.
It sounds to simple but start with the simple question of Him.
Cause I can sit here and try to come up with my ways He has helped me, but your experiences are most likely very special or have a different twist.

Ask Him to show you just one thing that He wants you to start working on from your list of fears.

Write down what first comes to your mind as to which fear.

Ask Him go show you where it originated from. Write down what He says to you.

Continue on in asking Jesus to guide you to start to overcome this fear write down the answer.

Now Jari as you can see this isnt me giving you answers but the mighty Counselor Jesus Himself. The hard thing at first is not doubting what you hear. Cause it is too simple.

Of course there is wise counsel in friends and others you trust.
One area you can always trust is Gods word.
Take care
Mike
aka grizzly in Christ.

 

[jari]

Hey Mike, that helps.


I really think the most important here is to just ignore if Im being judged and pray for them who dont accept me as I am.

I'm giving up my battle of trying to look good in front of others, as it did not seem to have any positive effect anyway, due to lack of results - lol.

 

[Ann]

Jari hi...

God made you the person that you are, because He wanted you the way you are.

You are unique and there is no one else like you. Read this and make it part of you.

Psa 139:1 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Psa 139:2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Psa 139:3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
Psa 139:4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
Psa 139:5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
Psa 139:6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Psa 139:7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
Psa 139:8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
Psa 139:9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Psa 139:10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
Psa 139:11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
Psa 139:12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
Psa 139:13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
Psa 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psa 139:15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Psa 139:16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
Psa 139:17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
Psa 139:18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

People can be cruel and they use words to destroy others. Don't allow them to do that to you, be who God made you to be and reject the words of destruction of people who don't know better.

GOD LOVE'S YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND SO DO WE!

 

[BeGood]

You need to know, people can have own personal habits,that don't look good for everyone, or acting the way, that makes them reacting the way,that you told on your post.(saying you are wierd).
If it is,that you look tired, or way you are dressed,or if it is that you aren't "enough" social, these things can change during time, how they will act then ?
Are those reasons to say,someone is wierd?
Other believer should support or encourage you ,instead of making remarks,that can be offending.
I read ,that word blessing means _tooking good .
So, when blessing someone is tooking good about him/her. That should not be hard ?
Words are ment for healing people, not to hurt them.
Negative things can be said in positive way.
Positive way would be then, not say you are wierd,but that they tell friendly,what are expected from you,and you decide,is it something(if there is need for that), you can do about to meet those expectations.