Family Responsibilities

[riaf]

I am sitting here, thinking what to write. My lifestory?? My fears??? I don't know where to start. I am married for 10 years know and know my husband about 15years. My husband is in the police force. We were just engaged when he got shot in the shoulder. We have beautifull kids a daughter of 9 years and a boy of 11 years. They are wonderful kids. They adore my husband and I adore him as well.

The problem I have is to forget about the past and believe in the future. I know I am getting there with the help of God. He is wonderfull and loving and everyday I thank God for him. About 3 and a half years ago I think he had an affair. It was a collegue of him and they were drinking while I was at work. I have got suspicious and found out about it on his cellphone. Then it felt as if my whole life was over. We received an application to transfer to the west-cape as we applied for it then 3 years ago, we have decided to move and we did. Eversince he has changed, no drinking, always at home with me and the kids. He is wonderfull.

Is it wrong in God's eyes if the trust is not repaired? I try my best and believe so strongly that God made us for each other. We have gave everything up to get away from the wrong and live in the right. I am happy and he makes me happy. He is happy as well as our kids.

Is it wrong off me to still feel insecure or scared to be hurt? I hope somebody can explain to me if this is normal. I believe in God, and I would like God to make me trust him again.

I just think I cannot overcome the issue as the trust was broken and we have to rebuild trust (especially cellphone). I am scared to get hurt as I was hurt before. We have started to go to church, teach our children about God. We seem to be perfect. :embarasse

 

[Br. Bear]

Dear sister,




may I offer some advice?

I ask you to look no further than to Jesus.

O how we desire Him, to be one with Him, to be like Him, to share in His glorious life.
As we long after more and more of Jesus, we enter places previously unknown, and as we become more like Him, we also must enter in... we want to be as He is, and receive from Him every grace that is ours in Him.
Now, we desire this, wholeheartedly... and yet we sometimes get carnal in our thoughts and let our whole being drown in self misery and torture as we attempt to right the wrongs done to us, rather than see the glory of Christ on offer, if we will but enter willingly in.

Our Lord suffered many things, the cross being only part of His giving of Himself for us. If He had not suffered all things for us, then He would surely not have the glory of God.... but would remain like us, in need of perfection.... but this is not the case. Jesus suffered for us and did so, knowing the joy, knowing the reward... to have us with Him for eternity. Now that is such a powerful truth to meditate upon, that alone, this fact would melt us away completely in His love for us, that nothing in this perishing world would matter.

Let us look for a moment at some of the things He suffered.
Rejection, accusations (false and unsavoury), despisings, unbelief in Him and the Gospel, and also, betrayal.

We want to be like Him. How do we react when we are brought, in His care, to the places of such humiliation, where we touch on His love in real terms, such as when we are betrayed? Do we embrace the thought or the opporunity to see even more of His great love in our life, to allow His life to flow more abundantly in and through us, or do we draw the line and look at the circumstance He so carefully planned for our heart to join with His?
As we embrace the shame, the rejection, the things that pain our fleshy nature, we enter into Who He is.... and do as He did, giving thanks and glory to God, and we can count it all joy and rejoice in the blessing of His love being showered upon our wanting souls.

Now, let us look at us for a minute... not too long though because we are not too glorious to look at if we neglect Christ in our vision.
We have betrayed the Lord more than once. Should He stop loving us? Impossible! Should forgiveness cease? Never.
So, do we hold others, who He died for and loves with the same love as He loves us with .. do we hold them in a place of mistrust? Why? Do we want forgiveness? Can we expect anything less of our Saviour?

So, back to Jesus we must always go.

Do we want Jesus to trust us with His love, with His Spirit, His life, His grace... His glory. Is it right and just to expect that of Him?
The same measure can be and should be, in fact, must be measured out to others that we expect to receive at His glorious hand, pierced for us... all so we can obtain the inheritance He paid so dearly for.... while we were yet sinners.

My sister, the things you have suffered are bitter, but if you swallow them thankfully and welcome the healing they will usher into your needy soul, they will turn into pleasantness, sweetness to your stomach, and soul, and you will know a further depth of the Love of God in Christ Jesus the Lord than you had until that moment known... and will rejoice with such joy that you truly long for... the joy you presently seek to heal your heart and mind of all wrongdoings against you.

Your husband was given to you by the Lord, and He knew that all this would happen, and desires you to take His burden which is light and let His glory shine in you because of the grace you are able to receive and grow in via this whole ordeal.

From what you say, your husband is doing all things as a wife would want in a partner in mariage. Yes, he did wrong.
A little leaven leavens the whole lump, and so even a smaller betrayal would still be able to stain your relationship.... like a little fox, stealing the tender grapes.
Your husband also had to learn great things... and now, my dear and priceless sister, you can be instrumental in revealing the love of God to your husband.
A man is very sensitive to such acts of love as you can now give him, to totally forgive and put behind you all wrong he has done, and love him even more and gladden his burdened heart with the fragrance of Christ though you, His Child and beloved vessel of forgiveness and grace.

Look to Jesus and see how you can give His love and be refreshed beyond measure as you do.





Bless you ><>


Br. Bear




ps.. and remember that if Jesus sees fit to forgive and remove your husbands iniquities , then that man He loves is surely worth forgiveness from you ><>

 

[riaf]

Dear Br Bear

Thank you very much for your strong words and promises. I do believe it was God's mission for me. I made piece with it and gave it to Him with love and take my fears away. Your words are so strong and so helpfull. I will keep your name in my prayers.

Thank you

 

[Boanerges]

Hi Riaf. A broken trust is a difficult bridge to rebuild and what you feel is indeed a normal reaction. Time and faithfulness will certainly help to re-cement your relationship. If you are both born again, seeking God and your husband is committed to you and your marriage then you will have to let that go if your relationship with your husband and your God is to go forward.
Forgiveness is not weakness nor foolishness but is a demonstration of love. Jesus Himself demonstrated how powerful that love could be when He cried "Father forgive them" over the very ones who beat, mocked and crucified Him. To choose this love, this forgiveness, is to reflect our Lord's character in our life.
If you want to be free of that fear and anxiety you must make a decision to lay that at Jesus feet once and for all.

Here is a prayer for forgiveness and healing. Use it from your heart, God is a Healer and restoring broken lives and relationships is His specialty.

Father in Jesus Name I choose to forgive ____, if he knew your love and was walking in your freedom he could have not acted like that. I can see now that he was acting out of a heart that was in bondage and darkness. I now pray the blessing of salvation over ____ and I release him into Your hands.
Thank You that you are willing to move on our behalf, become the center of our lives and our marriage.
Father in Jesus Name I forgive myself for _______. I now realize that it is impossible for me to lead a godly life or know Your freedom without total dependence on You. I now know that You see something precious in me and You sent Your Son to pay a terrible price for me. I accept Your forgiveness and inner healing. Cover me with Your precious blood and fill me now with Your Holy Spirit,
thank You Jesus for setting me free! Amen.

To receive His inner healing is to be free to experience His joy and peace. Instead of worry your heart will be full of assurance that God Himself is your source and your strength. That which we cannot do in our own strength is a burden we were never meant to carry. We can indeed "do all things through Christ who strengthens us".
I will keep you and your family in my prayers,
many blessings In Jesus wonderful Name,
your brother Larry.

 

[peeps]

to re-cement.

I have never heard or even thought about this word, option or picture . . .Very good!!

Dear Riaf, I feel with you and admire your status of hope and view into future . . .

Just as long as it aint forgiven, you will always carry those rocks with you in your bagpack. . .

Think about if you wanna leave them rocks behind you . .

You will find a way to take the bagpack off and deposit it to Jesus feet to leave it there and get up freely to join a walk in freedom

God bless your heart

 

[riaf]

Thank you all.
All the great words and thoughts made me realize that I am very happy to have such great GOD in my life.

Each and every day I thank GOD that He took my sorrows, tears and hurt away. He made me realize what GREAT HE COULD DO.

I believe it was a lesson on my path, to let Him into OUR lives. My kids and husband means the World to me and HE decided we belong together as a family. He made us for each other. I do believe and I do put my life and Trust into my GOD.

He made us happy ever since I laid my problems, fears to His feet. I thank God each and every day for all my blessings.

Thank you all for your support and your wisdom. I believe the God send you to respond to me and made me see that I must forgive and forget it doesnt matter how hard it sometimes was and still is. He will look after me and that HE LOVES US.