Fear of failure and pain

[TimK]

Hello all. I am really making an attempt to give my life to Jesus right now. I have made some significant steps such as joining this forum and I am going to join a small group at my church next week. But this really raises the stakes for me emotionally so to speak. I am starting to worry about failing agian.

Fear of failure is very real for me because I have failed before. I started going to a church a few years ago that was really speaking to me but for some reason I just could not take that step. During church I could really feel Jesus touching my heart. It made me feel like falling to the floor and crying like a little baby but I was so afraid to let go and open up my heart. I have so much pain that I have bottled away for so many years and I could feel it all rushing to the surface. It scared me. I was afraid of breaking down and crying in front of my wife and everyone else. I have always kept that tough, tearless guy image. I was afraid that in order to fully let Jesus in I would have to open the depths of my heart and that would mean me facing all of that pain.

I put on a false face and tried to live up to an impossible standard on my own. It became too much to handle and I just stopped going all together. I gave up my search for a couple of years after that and I felt hopless. I don't want to do that again.

I have come along way since then but I still have all of that emotion bottled up. I have asked Jesus to come into my heart and take away my pain but it is still there. I don't want to be halfhearted about Jesus. I want to be able to FULLY give myself to him.

Any encouragment or firsthand help with this issue please! I'm glad I have this forum to open up on. I have never been able to opened up like this to anyone. Thank you.

 

[rizen1]

Grace and Peace

I would like you to look at these verses.

2Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

Romans 8:14-17 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.


Dont be afraid to let things out, you need to clean out the house before you bring in new stuff. God already know the pain and trails you have faced so dont be afraid, dont let that steal you from living in freedom.

have so much pain that I have bottled away for so many years and I could feel it all rushing to the surface. It scared me. I was afraid of breaking down and crying in front of my wife and everyone else. I have always kept that tough, tearless guy image.

Let it out, get into the presence of the Lord right now in your room, on your knees, hands in the air however you want. And say Yes Lord...

Yes (open up your heart)
Yes (and tell the Lord yes)
Yes (say yes)
Yes

Yes (say I’ll obey Jesus)
Yes (I won’t stray Jesus)
Yes (This time I’ve made up in my mind, I’ll say)
Yes

Yes (My soul says yes)
Yes (My mind says yes)
Yes (My heart says yes)
Yes

Yes (I’ll do what you want me to do)
Yes (I’ll say what you want me to say)
Yes (I’ll go if you lead me…)
Yes

Come on open up your heart and say yes…Shekinah Glory

Let it out cry out to God, when we are broken thats when his glory can be seen, dont be ashame, dont be afraid just tell the Lord Yes. And when you fall ,get back up, you see its not how you fall but its what you do when you fall, when you stray. Thats when God is waiting arms wide open for us. He's a loving God, he is a forgiving God. Its our job to get back up and stand and cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it for a crown, because he is king and we are his sons and daughters royalty.
I Petter 2::9 You are… a royal priesthood

Join that small group dont let your pass dictate your future
dont let your shame or past sins tell you who you are, because the devil gives us fear, he plays our past in our heads, but Jesus came to set the captives free so we can LIVE.


John 10:10
10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly

Rejoice in the Lord, let your lips sing his praises. Walk in the light, walk in his goodness, walk in love, read your bible, develop a prayer life...Amen.


Take off the mask, take the mask...and watch God renew you, let it go. No more anxiety, no more fear, no dwelling on past failure.

Live...enjoy the life of Freedom he blessed you with.


Romans 8:37-39 ...we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord

 

[rizen1]

Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful [anxious] for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

1Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Psalm 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

 

[TimK]

Thank you very much for responding to me rizen1. I was doing quite well and drawing nearer to the Lord. But I got distracted by the world and I started to turn away again. That is what lead to my fear. A negative energy just snuck up on me from no where and I have been very depressed for a few days.

I have been reading the bible and praying this afternoon. I am starting to feel better and more hopefull. The one thing that I feel God is trying get across to me right now is his love for me through Jesus Christ. Which makes me love him and I feel better. I guess this just goes to show me what happens when I turn away and let my guard down. I hope and pray that I can stay focused on Jesus and what he did for me. Staying focused and holding on to him no matter how how my day goes is something I need to work on.

I'm still a little worried that i'm not out of the woods yet with this issue. I get easliy distracted by the world and sometimes I feel my faith is half hearted. But I am feeling a lot better right now.

Thank you again, you are a blessing. Sometimes I just need someone to remind me of the things I already know.

2Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

 

[calluna]

I believe more than anything that God wants us to be honest with Him more than anybody else. Whether you break down and crumble in the comfort and quiet of your own home or with others, it doesn't matter, God sees our hearts already, nothing is a secret from Him. He just wants us to reach that humble place and knowledge that we are nothing without our saviour Jesus Christ.
Psalms 91:8 "You have set our iniquities before you , our secret sins in the light of your presence"

Too many brothers and sisters in Christ are not honest and open enough with one another in sharing their everyday struggles and temptations. There are not many transparant, real open Christians who just lay it on the line and say what they are dealing with. too many are going around acting like they have got it altogether and their life with the Lord is hunky dorey. And so other believers are feeling less than adequate, possilby comparing, feeling they are not 'doing' enough or have grown enough, being a judge of themselves, which I know is wrong, but so easily happens within the church and among believers. I have done this myself, but some dear friend recently reminded me, that none of us have arrived and are not going to be until Christ's return. We are going to fail at times and are never able to fully reach God's standard. The wonderful thing is that God's Grace and love abounds and He is able to pick us up and help us to move forward.

To me this is a relief. I enourage you to just enjoy getting to know Jesus, know that you are forgiven and your slate is wiped clean, and if and when you fail, just confess, repent and start again. 1John 1:9.

Calluna

 

[TimK]

I am really trying to work on being honest with my self, who I am, who I was, and how I feel. Its just that I have trained myself for so many years to bury my feelings and be a guarded loner type. I have felt a lot of rejection growing up so its also hard for me to open up around other people.

 

[calluna]

I understand, me too. Trusting others has been something that I am able to do alot more now. And it is only through being with a couple of loving, kind, understanding Christians that I have come out of my shell and have become alot more open about myself. It is the work of the Holy Spirit working in me and a select few He has placed in my life. Discernment is to be excercised as you probably know, what we share and who with and the motive for why we share with others is still important.

I hope the Lord will bless you with some kind loving people who will embrace you for you, who accept and encourage you and are not quick to judge and shoot you down.

love in Christ and peace to you. Have a wonderful Christmas.

Calluna