I understand where you are coming from, as I have felt this way before, and sometimes maybe even felt judged, well there maybe an element of truth in what I am sensing, and I am being unwelcomed or being judged, then again it could be a load of hogwash and satan is just messing with my head. And sometimes we are our own worse judge and self critic.
These feelings of rejection and sadness may have something to do with childhood, and how you were treated, who knows. I know alot of my problems were to do with this.
But the Lord heals our wounds and makes us new again and helps us forgive those who hurt us and leads us into living a life of victory. John 10:10 ...'I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full' (abundantly). I don't think feeling sad is part of God's plan for us. There is joy to be found in knowing Jesus.
I believe the most important thing is for us to know who we are in Christ and allow Him to be our encourager above anyone else. We need to be ok alone, without seeking others approval. It is hard I know because we so often need a cheerleader, or want to be told how much we are loved, appreciated, we need to be heard and our opinions to be valued. Oh yes me too! And as brothers and sisters in Christ we ought to be lifting one another up, encouraging eachother, building up and not tearing down, But sadly people do let us down in that department, people do hurt people, it doesn't mean that we are unlovable though, that is just a plain old lie from satan. It's just man's failing in being sensitive to eachothers needs.
By the way, I think you're fine, and I would like to believe that TJ welcomes everyone. Just keep on doing your thing. You love Jesus, it is evident and that is all what matters. And the truth is God loves you. Just live for Him and His approval, try to find positive Jesus loving people in your life who are ready to admit their faults and shortcomings, and accept you. If you are lacking in these kind of people, pray and trust the Lord to bring them into your life.
Calluna