My mom and I moved to So Cal in 2009. My aunt and uncle wanted us out here, and my mom was ready for a change, so we moved here. We had to stay with them for a few weeks because our apartment wasn't ready yet. You tend to learn about a person you don't have much contact with, and boy did I learn about my aunt. She LOATHES when people hang around my uncle, so she will play sick in order for him to pay attention to her. (She actually does have endometriosis, so there were times when she was legitimately ill.)
Anyways, after about two months, we finally move into our place. Two weeks later, my mom calls because people from our then church wanted to donate some items to us. Aunt becomes furious and tells her not to call. She tells uncle not to call us anymore . . . and he listens. This comes after he says he would help us find work, get a car, and get established. For the next two and a half years, my mom and I live in sheer...dare I say it, hell. Uncle says he listened because he said, and I'm quoting badly, the Bible says people shouldn't come between a man and his wife. (And they treated Aunt's brother the same way when he moved over and had to stay with them!)
Because we don't have a car, we were reliant on public transportation, which is hard to get around when its above 85* most days. (And in the summertime, it can get up to 110 by noon.) There were times when my mom and I went hungry. I was unable to take on a job because the bus that goes past my old place stops running a little bit after 8:30 p.m. (I was willing to walk at 11 and 12 at night, but people have talked me out of that.) I gave away video games and DVDs so we could eat. I didn't realize it at the time, but I went into a depression. I was just sad and angry all the time because I sacrificed everything--school, work, my cat-to move here. It hurt big time. I admit, I lashed out at people, and I am sorry about that, but when you're in a dire situation, you just can't think clearly. And seeing people have fun while you sit around because you can't afford anything hurts too.
Things started to look up when my mom and I moved two hours south on Halloween 2012. About 10 days later, I applied for a job....only to find out they needed me JUST for Black Friday. These people told myself and about 25 more that we would work all through the holiday season, and would have the chance to go on to work there full time. Never happened to any of us, and since then I've still been unable to find work.
All of this is making me feel like I'm a bad person...and I sometimes feel like its my fault that we're in this situation or that God is punishing me for something. Maybe its because I'm not religious enough. I actually feel like if I were more like the Duggars or a former classmate who only listens/watches/reads Christian material, then life would be better. I mean when will my happiness come?
Anyways, after about two months, we finally move into our place. Two weeks later, my mom calls because people from our then church wanted to donate some items to us. Aunt becomes furious and tells her not to call. She tells uncle not to call us anymore . . . and he listens. This comes after he says he would help us find work, get a car, and get established. For the next two and a half years, my mom and I live in sheer...dare I say it, hell. Uncle says he listened because he said, and I'm quoting badly, the Bible says people shouldn't come between a man and his wife. (And they treated Aunt's brother the same way when he moved over and had to stay with them!)
Because we don't have a car, we were reliant on public transportation, which is hard to get around when its above 85* most days. (And in the summertime, it can get up to 110 by noon.) There were times when my mom and I went hungry. I was unable to take on a job because the bus that goes past my old place stops running a little bit after 8:30 p.m. (I was willing to walk at 11 and 12 at night, but people have talked me out of that.) I gave away video games and DVDs so we could eat. I didn't realize it at the time, but I went into a depression. I was just sad and angry all the time because I sacrificed everything--school, work, my cat-to move here. It hurt big time. I admit, I lashed out at people, and I am sorry about that, but when you're in a dire situation, you just can't think clearly. And seeing people have fun while you sit around because you can't afford anything hurts too.
Things started to look up when my mom and I moved two hours south on Halloween 2012. About 10 days later, I applied for a job....only to find out they needed me JUST for Black Friday. These people told myself and about 25 more that we would work all through the holiday season, and would have the chance to go on to work there full time. Never happened to any of us, and since then I've still been unable to find work.
All of this is making me feel like I'm a bad person...and I sometimes feel like its my fault that we're in this situation or that God is punishing me for something. Maybe its because I'm not religious enough. I actually feel like if I were more like the Duggars or a former classmate who only listens/watches/reads Christian material, then life would be better. I mean when will my happiness come?
