Forgiveness

[Wjohnson]

Hey everyone! I'm having such a hard time right at this moment. I just want to say forget everyone and everything and call it quits but I can't. My husband and I aren't seeing eye to eye right now and it's taking a toll on me. His mom is a kind hearted person but she has issues. She has done things to me that I forgiven her for more than once. This time, I am having a hard time doing it. Now my husband wants to blame everything on me. I'm trying so hard not to think about the things she said, but they were so awful and hurtful. I go to my Father and ask Him to help me with this. Please someone, I know that this site is full of annointed individuals. I need some encouragement right now because it's come to the point where I have to be the one to step up with the olive branch. I'm trying not to let my flesh get the best of me... but, I do know that I have to forgive her. Its sooooo hard!!! Any advice?

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings sister @Wjohnson

Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time especially in your marriage

Yes forgiveness can be so hard and the root of bitterness is so powerful at times.

However, our Lord is abundantly able......and with His strength you can overcome this difficulty with forgiveness
Just tell Him your struggles, ask Him to melt your heart with compassion and to open a way for you to show forgiveness and extend the olive branch

Look to the compassion, love and mercy the Lord had for us on the cross
Where would we be without His great mercy?

They nailed my Lord upon the tree
And left Him, dying, there:
Thro’ love He suffered there for me;
'Twas love beyond compare.

Crucified! Crucified!
And nailed upon the tree!
With piercéd hands and feet and side!
For you! For me!

Forgive them, O forgive!" He cried
Then bowed His sacred head;
“O Lamb of God! my sacrifice!”
For me Thy blood was shed*

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21


* C Austin Miles 19th century hymn

 

[RJ]

Hey everyone! I'm having such a hard time right at this moment. I just want to say forget everyone and everything and call it quits but I can't. My husband and I aren't seeing eye to eye right now and it's taking a toll on me. His mom is a kind hearted person but she has issues. She has done things to me that I forgiven her for more than once. This time, I am having a hard time doing it. Now my husband wants to blame everything on me. I'm trying so hard not to think about the things she said, but they were so awful and hurtful. I go to my Father and ask Him to help me with this. Please someone, I know that this site is full of annointed individuals. I need some encouragement right now because it's come to the point where I have to be the one to step up with the olive branch. I'm trying not to let my flesh get the best of me... but, I do know that I have to forgive her. Its sooooo hard!!! Any advice?

You are to love her, but nothing in the Bible says you must like her or approve of her.
Forgiving her and receiving peace for doing so has nothing to do with her acknowledging or receiving your forgiveness.
Maybe you could tell her verbally that you forgive her and maybe that would start a dialogue between you and she would see the errors of her ways. If she remains in denial, you have no responsibility any more to forgive her personally if it is the same reoccurring problem.

 

[Christ4Ever]

Hey everyone! I'm having such a hard time right at this moment. I just want to say forget everyone and everything and call it quits but I can't. My husband and I aren't seeing eye to eye right now and it's taking a toll on me. His mom is a kind hearted person but she has issues. She has done things to me that I forgiven her for more than once. This time, I am having a hard time doing it. Now my husband wants to blame everything on me. I'm trying so hard not to think about the things she said, but they were so awful and hurtful. I go to my Father and ask Him to help me with this. Please someone, I know that this site is full of annointed individuals. I need some encouragement right now because it's come to the point where I have to be the one to step up with the olive branch. I'm trying not to let my flesh get the best of me... but, I do know that I have to forgive her. Its sooooo hard!!! Any advice?

Dear sister.

So many unknowns except that you're a Child of the Most High. Who has turned to Brothers & Sisters in Christ Jesus seeking help. I'm sure you already spent much time on your knees seeking God, by the Holy Spirit to know what His will is for you at this time. To guide each of your steps, all of your words. To know in truth His Love for you and through you that His Love may touch those who trouble you now.

It is especially in these times of trial that you must, I say must, Love them unconditionally without expectations that it will be returned. As difficult as that is, know that if they really understood in their hearts the hurt and suffering you are going through that they would act differently. Yet, even if this were not so, you should still Love them. Just like the Lord loved you and us to die on the Cross for, even while we were still sinners! He didn't clean us up first then start to love us. So, don't expect the change in your husband or his mother to change first before loving them, no matter how hard it may be right now.

If it starts again. Then in the middle of it. Stop. Take stock of yourself as a Child of the Most High and tell them you're off to pray. Separate yourself from what is going on. Grab the word of God. Hold it to your breast and on bended knee pray your soul for Him to heal, whatever has come against your home, your family, you, to be bound. That whatever hurt may exist be healed. All, harsh words be cast aside and forgotten. That the peace that goes beyond understanding be the coverage upon your house and reigns upon your spirit.

You can also, ask either one or both to pray with you. Bring them into the process of healing as well. The fix in this is not powered by you, or them. But by God Himself. He is the solution. Allow yourself to be the vessel by which this peace can and will reign over your house.

I just finished reading a devotional, which made me think of you.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
"4 Love suffers long [and] is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Praying for you and your family in the name of Jesus Christ.
YBIC
C4E
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[Peter]

There are many words that are better understood by looking at its root meaning.
For instance 'forgive' is not so much about being tolerant, patient, allowing, non-judgement, etc. towards another person, but towards ourselves.
To be those things, first requires us to be that first.
To forgive is to (stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake. - Webster dictionary).
It is OUR anger or resentment we need to deal with.

Okay, so why do we get angry or have a resentment (re-anger)?
Anger comes from a fear of not having people, places, things, or situations, go OUR way. Because if they do not go OUR way we feel a loss of self-esteem (ego-energy). This loss causes us to think we are not worthy, understood, trusted, okay, etc. However, if we cannot see this truth, we tend to react in a way that will re-validate our self-esteem to its former glory/okayness. If normal reactions do not work, we can easily slip into expressions of anger. It can go to extremes of even murder.

I see two major problems here. First our anger is really a fear. Angry people are scared people. So we need to ask ourselves, truthfully, what am I afraid of?
Then by dealing with your own fears, forgiveness has already put into place.

The second problem is our ego game of playing god (without realizing it). Why should we need people, places, things, or situations to go OUR way? So what if they don't!
Forgiveness is about letting go of our expectations of others to make us feel okay. As Christians, it ought to be easy to forgive because we are already okay (loved and saved) in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Truth starts with our own truth. When we see our truth, we also can see more clearly the truth about others. And from this, more compassion and understanding of their fears too. In this way we become humble and more loving and caring in a true way.

Jesus Christ could see all these fears in others. His teachings were about replacing these fears with its opposite (fear). Some say hate, but hate is just another fear again.
Jesus Christ wants us to become people of truth, and a good start to become so is to learn to be truthful to/about our self.
Remember the word of God is Truth and '... is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to divideing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.' Hebrews 4:12.

For instance, the unforgiving mind harbors anger, but deeper still they harbor fear, but deeper still they lack faith, but deeper still they stopped looking at Christ and God for all things (that are True).