Friend says they don't deserve to be saved.

[willy]

I posted this in another section and only recieved a few replies .
So I'm looking for more input.
Someone very close to me that knows, and will tell anyone that he believes with all his heart that Jesus Christ is the son of GOD and died for our sins and was raised from the dead.
The problem is I asked him why he hasn't recieved Christ yet seeing that he is a believer.
He told me he didn't think he deserved to be saved.
I told him none of us 'deserve " to be saved ,,that none of us could ever EARN the gift of salvation.
I told him it is a GIFT from GOD because HE loves us.
Then this person told me he was gay.
I told him GOD hates all sin ,but HE loves the sinner.
But now this person says he doesn't think being baptized is right for him because he is gay.
So ----NOW WHAT ????
I told him since he believes and knows who Jesus Christ is that he should still be baptized .
He can deal with the gay issue afterwards.
Can anyone help me out with what to say to this person?

 

[Brad Huber]

Having desires for same sex intimacy isnt a sin unless you either lust over it or engage in it. And the same holds true for hetrosexual people. Now as to getting married so as to making it Holy, the bible describes the naturally accepted union. So if he stays single and avoids lusting over men, or having sex with them, he is as holy (if not more so), as any hetrosexual man serving the Lord. The Lord doesnt want perfect ppl, He wants ppl who are available to do His work.

 

[willy]

So what do I say to him about being baptized?

 

[Brad Huber]

It says "repent and be baptized everyone for the forgiveness of your sins" So if he repents of the sin portions of the homosexual lifestyle (already explained), then he has repented and he should be baptized just like anyone else who has sin in thier lives.

 

[willy]

That's the problem...
He don't want to give up the life style.
That's why he says he doesn't deserve to be saved.

 

[Green Berean]

Then he hasn't repented. Romans 12:2 explains the need for repentance very well: "Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may know the good and perfect will of God."
Repentance in English, as well as metanoia in Greek, mean the same thing: "rethinking" or "a change of mind." When someone repents, then they have taken a new mind, and it is in this renewal of the mind that the transformation takes place. "As a man thinks, so is he."

 

[Brad Huber]

If he doesnt want to give up the lifestyle, then he is still "wallowing" in sin. He knows its sin, knows it fully and refuses to give it up, if you are not willing to give up a known sin burden, then you arent worthy of Christ. Its one thing to have faith that God can change your heart, then backslide into it for a time, thats understandable in any sin especially sexual sins in general. But to be unwilling to give it up at all, means he is still lacking the faith that God will help him get the victory over the sin, making Christs sacrifice not good enough for him.

 

[willy]

Thanks for everyones input.
My thoughts was to tell him to repent and be baptized ,,and if he doesn't give up the gay life style ---yet--- then there is always the chance he may in the future .

 

[Peace Seeker]

That's the problem...
He don't want to give up the life style.
That's why he says he doesn't deserve to be saved.

Willy,

Please stop kicking at the goads and accept the truth that your friend cannot be saved unless he does what EVERY ONE OF US who are Christians have done, which is REPENT. He is no exception to that necessity, no matter how much you hope that he can somehow be.

You have finally, after many responses to you from several of us, admitted that your friend refuses to do this - repent - which is why he has such turmoil, guilt and fears.

You are obviously hoping that someone will respond to you and tell you what you want to hear, that your friend can keep his homosexual lifestyle and still be baptized, erroneously thinking baptism would somehow be helpful and meaningful to him, which it wouldn't.

I commend you for your love for your friend, wanting him to be saved, but please do not try to look for a way out for your friend, rather look for the only way in, which is repentance and submission to Christ.

His refusal to give up his sodomite lifestyle is saying he refuses to stop serving himself, his flesh, his desires in order to serve God. He wants his cake and eat it too. If he will not bow the knee to Christ he cannot be of Him, as much as you or he may wish otherwise.

You said your friend believes Jesus is the Son of God and died for our sins, which is a good piece of God's light being shone on him, BUT many people (correctly) believe things about Christ, but the pivotal problem is that they snuff out that light when they refuse to have Him reign over them as Lord and Savior of their life.

John 3:19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

They have the attitude of pride that says : "yeah, Jesus died for my sins, but if I have to be His slave and give up things then forget it; I like things the way they are thank you very much."

Like the rich man that asked Jesus what he must do to be saved, and Jesus told him to sell his riches and give them to the poor, whereupon the man walked away sad and refused to follow Jesus. He loved his money more than Christ and wanted Christ only insomuch that he could still have his fleshly desires. This is what your friend wants too.

Baptism is for believers and your friend will not be saved unless he humbles himself and lets go of his pride and love of self.

So the question isn't whether he deserves to be saved, it's whether he truly wants to be saved, and if he does it must be on God's terms, not his. We cannot serve ourselves and serve God as well, we will either serve one or the other. Your friend wants both, which will never work. Sorry that that's not what you want to hear.

 

[willy]

Thanks for your reply ,, but you seem to think that being baptized will wipe away all temtations.
He knows he is living a sinful life.
And I believe the Holy Spirit is working on him to bring him to Christ.
Being baptized will not stop a drug addits cravings for drugs.
But being a child of GOD will insure GOD will bless him with strength to over come his problems if he is willing and sincere in stopping.
So should a drug user not be baptized until AFTER he has kicked the habit?

 

[Peace Seeker]

Thanks for your reply ,, but you seem to think that being baptized will wipe away all temtations.

If you're addressing me, I never said being baptized will wipe away all temptations, only God can help us with that. I said baptism is something that is done after repentance, nothing else. God gives grace and strength to overcome temptations, it has nothing to do with baptism.

He knows he is living a sinful life.

Then why does he love what he knows is a sinful lifestyle, so much that he won't give it up and exchange it for the peace and joy that is in Christ? He needs to humble himself and, giving up his pride, call on the Lord. The bible tells us to choose whom we will serve, and it's an "either-or" equation. Christ is either Lord of your life or He isn't.

And I believe the Holy Spirit is working on him to bring him to Christ.

Yes, and the Holy Spirit will lead him to Christ if he will listen and accept what he hears.

Being baptized will not stop a drug addits cravings for drugs.

Nope.

But being a child of GOD will insure GOD will bless him with strength to over come his problems if he is willing and sincere in stopping.

True.

So should a drug user not be baptized until AFTER he has kicked the habit?

I'm not sure why you are so hung up on baptism, Willy, but you are putting the cart before the horse in regard to it. I sincerely wish you would put it out of your mind and concentrate on the things your friend needs to do right now.
A drug addict, or any sinner needs to call upon the Lord and confess and repent of his sins. Any problems the person may or may not have- financial, sexual, health-related, or whatever, are things that God deals with in conjunction with His giving salvation to us after we have surrendered to Him.

I'm sorry if I am not explaining myself well enough to you.......

 

[faithfulservant]

It sounds like he doesn't want to be baptized because he has counted the cost, and doesn't want to give up his lifestyle. Godly sorrow brings about repentance without regrets. God doesn't expect anyone to be perfect overnight, but He does expect us to be workable. If we arrogantly think we can do whatever, we are not humbling ourselves before God. If your friend recognizes what he's doing is sinful, and he sincerely wants to be changed, he should turn from this sin and seek Jesus to have the chains of this sin broken. God is faithful, He will do it. Then he will proudly proclaim, with a clear conscience, that Jesus is his Lord. And baptism will help to give him that clear conscience.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

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But now this person says he doesn't think being baptized is right for him because he is gay.
So ----NOW WHAT ????
I told him since he believes and knows who Jesus Christ is that he should still be baptized .
He can deal with the gay issue afterwards.
Can anyone help me out with what to say to this person?

Your friend is justifiably fearful of condemnation from selfrighteous churchgoers. A lot depends upon the attitudes he hears from the pulpit in the church/churches he's been checking out. I suggest you attend a service or two with him to get a feel for the attitudes he's encountering. I think that's the first step God wants you to take.

SLE