You cannot serve both God and self - you have to choose. There is no other way.
A woman married to a woman cannot also 'serve' the Lord,
Why not?
Because the LORD said He does not want women to marry women.
If He is truly our Master, then "because HE said so" should be all the answer we need to cause us to do what He said.
If we refuse to obey what HE has said, then we clearly do not want Him to be our Master.
Then the real question we have to ask ourselves is;
Do I only care about what I want, or what the LORD wants?
This is pure simple logic even a child being told he must choose a toy can understand, but we complicate the simple command because we don`t like being told we can`t have everything we want.
Jesus Christ asks' "Why do you call me your LORD (Master), if you will not do what I say?"
Beyond that, any one desiring to 'serve God' must understand they 'serve the Lord' by serving those around them, beginning with those we say we love. A Man or a Women who will not set aside their own needs, wants and desires for the sake of the relationship, or the person(s) they say they "love", simply do not understand what it means to LOVE....
God is a good Master, He will always be there to help those who will listen to Him, and are willing to do what He says...will you?