Give up or keep waiting?

[Janette]

Ok I have a difficult one....

I have a group of friends that I used to consider on par with family. When times were just horrid we would watch out for each other. These are the kind of people that you could call at 4am and say "drive for 3 days to get to me because I need help" and they'd be there...but for all their loyalty....our friendships are getting harder for me to maintain.

As the years have passed, I've pretty much separated from them. The main reason is that not a one of them is Saved. Some are athesist, some are other religions, some are even pagan.

Now I'm not worried about them getting me into any godless activities. I don't approve of their casual "friendships" (and I've said so) and I don't go drinking with them or whatever. I had coffee with one and went to the mall with another, but I keep our socializations to things I'm comfortable with.

But I am worried that maybe I should just cut ties entirely. I keep telling myself that I'm staying in touch in an effort to be a Christian example in their lives, and I don't hestitate to point out how God moves in my own life, if I can get them to listen for more than a second.

But the opportunities for me to bring such things up seem to be getting fewer and fewer. I had one friend "politely" tell me to keep my "Jesus-Crispy nonesense" to myself.

So I'm at a loss. They aren't weakening my faith by any stretch...but is it just hubris on my part to think I can ever help turn any of them around?

Should I just give up? I feel like I'm telling God this assignment is just too hard and I don't want to find out after the end of time that someone was just about to have that crisis that would open them up to hearing the truth and I was the one that bailed.

But I don't feel like I'm making any headway either. My husband says I should just give up on them, but they were never his friends. To be honest I feel like Heaven will be a bit lonely without them, but I just don't know if they will ever come to understand what they are throwing away.

I'm still praying about this but I'd welcome others' thoughts.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

Well I would say if you have shared the gospel with them. They have heard what Jesus tells us to do because He does not want any to perish, then you have done your part. We sow the seeds he reaps the harvest.

If they choose to reject Jesus after hearing the good news then they will lose out.

Normally when someone sees Jesus in us they want what we have.

We need to be surrounded by people who will help us in our walk with Jesus.

Even Jesus shook the dust off his feet with people.

Be led by the Holy Spirit Janette in what to do in this situation. Pray pray and pray again. Seek His will and whether or not it will be of benefit to either you or these friends. They sure do not seem a friendly group.

As there is no sadness in heaven I do not think it will be lonely at all. We will be busy worshipping Jesus and enjoying His presence.

God bless :rainbow: :rose:

 

[sabre7]

I was in a similar situation not too long ago. I had friends, with whom I no longer have much at all in common, who aren't saved, but who are dear to me. For a while I was thinking that they would have a negative influence on me if I continued to hang around them all of the time, but I feel that God set me straight on the matter with the following verses;

When Jesus had come down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; and there was a leper who came to him and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.’ He stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, ‘I do choose. Be made clean!’ Immediately his leprosy was cleansed. - Matthew 8:1-3

Lepers are not the kind of people that someone in the time of Jesus would want to go around touching. Yet Jesus does not fear. Rather than the leper giving Jesus his disease, Jesus gives the leper his health and cleanliness.

I believe this is exactly what the great commision calls us to do. Go out in to the corruption of the world with the purity of Christ in our hearts. It can not touch us, but God can touch it through us.

I know your issue may not be about your friends influencing you as it was for me, but I believe this passage still provides some sort of an answer.

Your friends need your influence, far more than your Christian friends would.
I would argue that you should try to maintain your connections with them, because if ever one of them falters in the hopelessness of the worldly lifestyle, you can be there to guide them.

It might take a lifetime of influence, but that may be what is required to show them that life with Jesus is the only life there is.

God bless you.

 

[kenwyn]

I feel like Heaven will be a bit lonely without them

Well if the next life would be lonely without them, surely this life will be too?

How much do you value your friends as just friends – aside from any spiritual considerations? They are not your assignment, they are people made in God's image.

From your post, it sounds like they are the kind of friends we all need. Close and trustworthy and loyal.

Of course we all drift away from friends as we get older. Seasons change and so do our priorities. If you find that you no longer have enough in common with them to make the friendship work, then maybe it is time to move on.

Otherwise enjoy your friends as precious gifts from God.

Hope this helps

 

[talei-v]

Hi Janette,
I remember at one time in my life I felt it was all on me to make sure that my friends were brought to salvation, and make sure that I was there for them whenever they needed me. I felt that I should call them, spend a lot of time with them and share the word of Christ with them. We all left school and life started getting busy and we all slowly drifted apart. But I still felt that it was my responsibility to bring those of my friends who were unsaved to Christ. It was impossible to juggle my life and try to look after or what was feeling like “baby sitting” my friends. It really started irritating me because I felt so burdened, then I just got angry with God and said - How can you expect me to do all these things! Do this, this and that and look after my friends? It’s Impossible! I am just human!

I had been praying about this for a while, and at that moment of “had enough” then it came to me. It was as if God was saying, that’s right it is impossible for you, you are not their Savior, Jesus is their Savior. As long as you keep on praying to me for your friends, my Holy Spirit will move and reach out to them. I know your heart, I know you care about your friends, I care for them also, because I created them.

So now I just pray for my friends, even though I know I cannot always be there for them - I know God is (and that is so much more then I could ever do). As long as you have planted the seed (shown them the way), God will bring other people to water the seed, that is what I always pray.
I’ve also found out that people hate being preached at, so as I have prayed for my friends, somehow they always bring up God first and that’s my opportunity to talk them about God (but remember through God’s gentle spirit, not argumentative).

It’s not by our own power that people are saved, but by God’s Holy power.
So don’t give up on your friends, and don’t wait for them, because you have God’s destiny in your life to focus on - just keep Praying for them and God will do the rest in the name of Jesus.

Godbless!

 

[Tonyb]

Hi Janette,

Just about all Christians go through what you are going through with your none Christian friends. Sometimes it just a case of wait and see what happens. It's usually a mixed reaction, some will probably think you've gone crazy and need medical help. Others might drop you like a hot potato. Some will probably be a bit perplexed by your new life in Christ and wonder why you don't do or say the things you once did.

One things for sure there is going to be a thinning out of your none Christian social group, and to a large extent that will be a decision they make about you.

If you have any special or close friends in the group, I would say try and stay in contact. One of the tragedies of being a Christian is we often don't have none Christian friends. There's a lot to be said for friendship evangelism, you just have to learn to be natural and have fun with none Christian friends without being compromised.

Blessings,
Tonyb