Giving my daughter away at wedding

[FrankJr]

My daughter is planning on getting married this week to her fiance. They have a 3 year old son together and just recently reconnected in February. During this time, they have been apart living in different states and I gave them the advice that they should date once he moves here and soak up as much information as possible before getting married. Since he lives out of state and she has a place of her own, they decided they would rather just go ahead and get married as soon as he moved here this past week, then they want us to do a wedding for them later in September.

I frowned upon this because I want them to have a solid foundation of being in church together and really knowing each other before the actual marriage. I believe they feel like their child is the thing that is bringing them together (and that's not bad) however, that shouldn't be the key factor. As a father and giving her some of the best advice I wish I never had to give, I'd hope that they would learn from their previous mistakes and do something right in their lives, instead of rushing into a decision like marriage.

With that, they are choosing to live together right away and don't feel the need to prepare themselves correctly for a marriage. After they get their marriage license and get "married", she still wants me to walk her down the aisle to give her away for the wedding. I told her that I don't see the purpose in doing so, because you're basically already married, and if I was going to give you away, I would really want to do it properly and it have meaning, not to be just some custom and it not feel right. To me, it lessens the value and I was hoping to be really giving her away before they were married.

What do you think? Am I wrong for feeling this way? Maybe I'm old fashion....

 

[Brad Huber]

If promoting righteousness in ourselves and others that we love is old fashioned, that doesnt mean its wrong. But once you state your intentions, the words will either be received or rejected. The ceremony is less important then their hearts, and their intentions. I dont know their situation or their hearts, I would pray to the Lord about it and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit on it.

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

I'll pray that you receive wisdom, strength,insight and the power of love to know how to handle each and every
decision and interaction.

I'm sure you realize that pushing to hard can lead to alienation and resentment.
If your daughter is afraid to displease you that can cause cause extra stress on
the marriage.

If all else fails,then remember love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
1 Corinthians 13:5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
1 Corinthians 13: 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

[Hekuran]

Not giving your daughter away will send a very powerful message. It will likely say that you do not approve of her choice, of her marriage, and that she and her husband do not have your blessing. It is likely that such a strong statement would cause a lot of hurt and need a long time to heal.
By all means make your feelings clear, but don't damage your daughter's wedding day for the sake of your own values if you truly value your relationship with her.