God help me, I am loosing my mind

[becki]

I don't know what else to do, for months I've been crying out to God to help me in my situation. I know he does things in his own time but I'm feeling sick to my stomach, I'm shaking and I'm so angry it's making irrational. About a year ago my boyfriend and I moved in with his brother to receive a place to live for a cheaper rental rate, we would get cheap rent while helping his brother pay off a mortgage. The idea at the time seemed very kind and we took his generous offer. I am disgusted by his girlfriend. She walks around the house naked, does not respect our property, does not follow basic house rules and disregards the safety and privacy of others. She calls herself a Christian. We have brought our concerns to the Brother and stated our annoyance and dislike of her disrespect for our living there. She pays no rent, which we do not question as this is the right of the land lord to choose who pays and who doesn't. But we do expect her to clean up after herself and not touch others property, which she does not to. She has broken many of my items, things have gone missing and when she is confronted about it she lies and claims that we are trying to target her out of jealousy. She has lied about many things, and her boyfriend chooses to believe her and never punish her or give expectations, I'd like to say we can just move out, but this is not just simply done, we do not have the financial means to do so. Both couples have a cat, my rage was given its last straw yesterday when I found my cat with burned whiskers, I confronted her asking her politely if she had been burning a candle in her room, to which she replied yes I have been why. So I showed her my cat and she tried to pass it off by laughing at the situation and stating it wasn't a big deal. I asked her how it happened because it was indeed a big deal and it was a possible safety issue. She stated to me that she was studying in her room and had the candle lit, both cats were in the room and behaving well. She fell asleep and that's likely when it happened. I gently explained to her that perhaps falling asleep with a candle lit was not a good idea as further damage to the cats or even herself could occur, she assured me her falling asleep was an accident and to just let it go. I did try to stress that candles shouldn't be used when there is even a chance of sleeping as it's very dangerous she ignored my request and went back upstairs. I was concerned for my safety and my pets safety and the others around the house. I informed the brother who owned the house in hopes of him mediating for me to have her understand. Sadly, she told the brother a different story stating that she had left the room and the cat had been trying to get at the candle all afternoon, this was not what she had told me. When I questioned why she lied and asked why the lie was even necessary, as I wasnt questioning her story to begin with, she erupted in a violent mass of tears, screaming and swearing stating I was always against her, always lying and causing problems for her and I was to leave her alone. I asked the brother what the point of her freaking out was for to which he replied "your cat has been known to get into things and I believe her side of the story" I told him the fact that my cat getting into things doesn't justify having him left alone with a candle, if he was misbehaving tell me, or toss him out of the room. This was not done to begin with and many defences for the girlfriend were made that completely got off topic of the original issue of safety and the request of candles not being burned any more to prevent future issues, I know if this was her cat involved she would have been furious. I tried to explain that I was not trying to target the girlfriend merely to point out a safety concern. The girlfriend left the house for the night to go out with friends to a concert, in my rage she reminded me a lot of a teenager, throwing a fit and then going out to ignore the situation and not deal with it, When I asked if I may speak with her again she told me to leave her alone, again. I dont want to fight with this woman, but she's driving me nuts, I just got out of the shower to find her in her boyfriends bedroom burning a candle to spite what happened. She's a witch, an absolute witch and she has manipulated the land lord to the point where he no longer believes my boyfriend or I. She is a chronic liar and this is not the first time she has lied and it has caused a very ugly situation. She's a very selfish princess type and has no regard for anyone but herself. Lord Jesus Help me I have lost my mind and I cannot focus on living because the presence of this woman. I do not know what to do anymore...

 

[Cosmicwaffle]

I find it almost ironic your signature is ( "Love is Patient, Love is kind." 1 Corinthians 13:4love: ).

You should be kind and patient to her despite her ways. Maybe you should just leave the situation alone, leave her alone, and if she does anything else just ignore it. Mind your own business and maybe she will mind her's. If not, she will be in the wrong, not you. It's obvious confronting her solves nothing.

Don't participate in this emotional battle with her. Pray for her situation and yours.

I will pray for your situation as well.

 

[Cosmicwaffle]

And also, don't hold a grudge against her. Forgive her for her ways, and if she comes needing anything from you, whether something material, social, or spiritual, help her and withhold nothing. And please take me seriously when I say this... Act kindly towards her as if she had done no evil. I know that seems counterintuitive, but that is how our heavenly father works.

God Bless

 

[Strypes]

She calls herself a Christian.

Lord Jesus Help me I have lost my mind and I cannot focus on living because the presence of this woman. I do not know what to do anymore...

Did it help you to vent your frustrations? I hope so as we all want you to be able to focus on living.


Cats and candles have caused many a house fire. Your cat's whiskers will grow back.



I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Your life choices are your own and ultimately you are the one that will suffer the consequences of the bad decisions that you make. Maybe it is time to reevaluate your circumstances and make some changes.

Romans 8:5-6 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

You noted in the beginning of your post that this woman whom you called a "witch" later says she is a christian.

I will assume from your ending "prayer" that you profess to be a christian too.

Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Going back to the passage in Romans 8...

Romans 8:7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus[d] from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

I hope that you can understand that you have placed a standard ("she calls herself a christian") that you judge her by. Can the same "judgement" be made of you? I would encourage you to look into your own eyes and see yourself clearly.

 

[becki]

It is very hard to forgive her as I have forgiven her time and time again. She continues to spit in my face and beat me down with her lies then manipulates people into making her believe she is right, There is a very ugly spiritual war going on here and It is making me very bitter to watch her strut around with not justice being served to her for her ill actions.

 

[becki]

I am hurt and I am angry. Her desire to call herself a Christian has never been acted on, she goes to church but does not know why. I have tried to explain to her when she mediates in yoga with her friends that her spirit with God is the only spirit she needs and the energy that she focuses on to get her "inner strength" from is poisoned by something I do not wish to touch. I fear she has opened herself to things that are dabbling in my own life and hers and sent to cause a spiritual war between us. She has blocked herself from communication with me, I know I am not a perfect Christian, no Christian is, but we cannot even find common ground with God. I do pray for her, and it is hard, especially today. I have asked God to forgive me and help me to pray without anger, sometimes I cannot do it, so I do not pray as I know God cannot help me if I am angry. I am confused, hurt and in a situation where I cannot find justice for the actions she has pressed against me, there have been several attempts at finding peace between us, but sadly when I find a way to communicate with her she uses it as a way to push her own ways again. I do try to ignore her, but she's in my own home, I have no where else to go, it is not easy to live in a home that is broken by mistrust and lies. When she screamed at me I asked God to calm me, and I let her scream, I did not scream back, I have no desire to fight her, so I turned the other cheek. However, I cannot stand here and let something that I care about, such as my own cat, have his safety placed in danger because of the selfish desires of someone who has never even had a desire to listen to anyone else but her own needs. I am angry yes, I am in the wrong for being angry but that is why I came here, for support, I am already kicked down, this is not so simple for me to just ignore her, I am sorry but my desire to see her be reformed by God, to someone better, is in immediate need.

 

[Cosmicwaffle]

becki, what should we desire more, justice or mercy?

 

[Strypes]

I am hurt and I am angry. Her desire to call herself a Christian has never been acted on, she goes to church but does not know why. I have tried to explain to her when she mediates in yoga with her friends that her spirit with God is the only spirit she needs and the energy that she focuses on to get her "inner strength" from is poisoned by something I do not wish to touch. I fear she has opened herself to things that are dabbling in my own life and hers and sent to cause a spiritual war between us. She has blocked herself from communication with me, I know I am not a perfect Christian, no Christian is, but we cannot even find common ground with God. I do pray for her, and it is hard, especially today. I have asked God to forgive me and help me to pray without anger, sometimes I cannot do it, so I do not pray as I know God cannot help me if I am angry. I am confused, hurt and in a situation where I cannot find justice for the actions she has pressed against me, there have been several attempts at finding peace between us, but sadly when I find a way to communicate with her she uses it as a way to push her own ways again. I do try to ignore her, but she's in my own home, I have no where else to go, it is not easy to live in a home that is broken by mistrust and lies. When she screamed at me I asked God to calm me, and I let her scream, I did not scream back, I have no desire to fight her, so I turned the other cheek. However, I cannot stand here and let something that I care about, such as my own cat, have his safety placed in danger because of the selfish desires of someone who has never even had a desire to listen to anyone else but her own needs. I am angry yes, I am in the wrong for being angry but that is why I came here, for support, I am already kicked down, this is not so simple for me to just ignore her, I am sorry but my desire to see her be reformed by God, to someone better, is in immediate need.

James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.


It seems you wish for us to understand your anger and comfort you in some way.

I understand that you love your cat and are extremely upset that its whiskers were burned by your live in lover's brother's live in girl friend's candle.

She keeps burning candles and that makes you even more angry because you know that cats and candles are a dangerous combination.

You feel powerless because she feels she has the upper hand because her lover is the owner of the house and you and your lover (his brother) are only rental space occupants.

You feel you have no options because your finances are insufficient to move to a place where you will be Lady of the Manor.

Do you think that this "spiritual battle" is really about a cat's burned whiskers? Or some other person's sins?

Look into your own eyes and keep looking until you can see clearly.

I would recommend studying 1 Corinthians chapter five regarding Christians living in willful sin.

 

[sas]

Dear becki, I am sorry to read about your situation, it must be very upsetting. I can understand a desire for justice - it is human to want fair treatment. You see this individual acting in a way you do not agree with and it challenges your views. I can understand the disgust one feels when they see someone boasting their love of Christ and yet play the hypocrite. To be fair, I do not think becki was trying to pass judgment; I think she was more venting her despair that the situation. We are all human and it can hurt so much when these sort of things happen. I can also respect the feeling that prayers go unanswered. Jesus will work things out in time. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Rather than criticizing you for her frustration, I respect that you can be open with others about your true feelings. It is hard to love everyone the way Christ does and we all need support when life's trials get us down. In terms of justice, God promises it, "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." (Isaiah 30:18) - I know waiting is hard, but Jesus will give you the strength you need. I am sure everyone here will pray for the situation. Have faith that the Lord will work everything out. You can give your anger to Jesus; he will take all your love as well as your hate. Thank you for sharing with the Christian community so that we can all pray for you and this individual.

 

[Strypes]

I would recommend studying 1 Corinthians chapter five regarding Christians living in willful sin.

Chapter 6 too..

 

[sas]

I just read that set of scriptures! I think it really applies to the situation. Praise Jesus! The Holy Spirit is already starting to reveal things to those praying for this situation! Keep your chin up becki, things will work out in the end (for both you and this individual).

 

[pekoe]

Hi becki.
Do everything you can to make some money to get a place of your own and I'll be praying that God blesses you with finances, because animals never get that to fire by themselves. You're living with a pathological liar and a sadistic nut.

 

[becki]

Thank you everyone for your prayer and support, the situation has not changed and there is still no communication between the room mate and I. She is avoiding me even when I reach out to her. Sadly she is also avoiding basic care for her own cat now, this confuses me and I am unsure as to why. I have been feeding him and praying over him as I do not believe either my cat or hers needs to be involved in our problems, nor should either cat suffer because of how she feels. I will continue to pray and do my best to hold my ground in this terrible war between us. I pray that God does what he must soon and if I am to play a part I pray it be known to me and then I pray for a way out with my loved ones. Thank you again for your prayers.