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God's Help...

Knight1

Member
Joined
May 20, 2005
Messages
87
I am seeking the counsel of the Lord on a very hard matter.
My 17 year old son and his ex-girlfriend are expecting a child. I was very upset when I heard the news.
It started out that his ex spoke with me on my front porch and asked me if God would be mad at her if she wanted to get pregnant so that she could keep him because their relationship was very rocky and he wanted to end it. I told her that God love's her, but trying to manipulate someone by getting pregnant to try and keep them was wrong and that it would not turn out the way that she expected. (She was not pregnant at that time)

Very shortly thereafter, she got pregnant and her mother was overjoyed! I on the other hand was not. Her mom is a single mom as well and has one other daughter who has two children by someone she is not married to.
I knew that this child was conceived not only out of wedlock, but by deception and minipulation on the part of his girlfriend to hold him when he wanted out of a bad relationship.
They are broken up now, but she uses this baby to torment my son and break his heart. A few weeks ago she told him she would not let him see the child and that she would run away so that he could not have access to it. Then, just last week she came to my house and told me that the baby was dead! She told him that to. I just found out only a couple of days ago, that the baby is not dead as she had said.

This is just unreal!! Now her mother says that she wants to tell everyone that the child is dead and won't let my son see his child. This is insanity!! Her mother, because of a job problem, is moving out of state and my son wants to follow them so he can see his child.
I told him that if his girlfriend would stop this madness and do what is required of her that she could move in with us until after the child is born because she has nowhere else to go. She will be 17 in Feburary.

I am so torn about all of this. I am a single mother and my son knows what it is like not to have a dad there for him and he does not want to be like his dad. He tells me that he will not run, but do all that he can to be a good father to the child.

A am all about the Love of Jesus and forgiveness, but there is also accountability. Going out of your way to make someones life miserable because you cannot have them, and doing anything to keep them in your life even to the exclusion of all else is wrong. She might be 16 1/2 but her mother is not, and she is worse than the girl is. I am a Christian and so is my son despite this mistake.
I am a single parent to, and I am having a hard time just trying to make it with my own two children, butthe thing that concerns me is all the lies and manipulation that is going on, on the part of his ex girlfriend and the mother. I cannot live like that and I won't tolerate it in my home. God does provide but he expects us to do our part. The mother of his ex is a lier and manipulator herself and I cannot stand this, it drives me crazy. She does not hold her daughter accountable for her actions but makes excuses for her and paints her a victim. Last time I checked it took two to make a baby and the ex girlfriend wanted one so that my son would not leave her.
I don't want to play the blame game. The child is coming and there is nothing I can do about that. Now we just need to figure out what to do from here.

This girl, from all of her past actions, has used this poor baby as a pawn to manipulate my son in every way. She uses this baby like a toy instead of human being and this upsets me very much.

I have prayed so hard about all of this and the weight of it is just too hard for me to bare.
How do I do all of this without compromising all that I believe in. I am standing on God's word and my life is being torn apart, again!! They have already had sex before being married, now his ex is breaking the hearts of all of those involved and it is tearing me and my sons apart!

I told my son that she could live with us if her mother moves out of state because she has nowhere else to go but my son still has to finish school, find a job and get on his feet. The girlfriend needs to do the same. She thinks that now that she is pregnant she does not have to finish school and everybody is suppose to wait on her hand and foot. She does nothing to help herself or the baby. I want to be there to help my son.

I cannot believe that this is even happening to us now.
I will not let this girl, child or not, use my son, or hurt him anymore than she already has. She does not want this child except to try keep my son. She talks of getting rid of the baby all of the time. One minute she wants it, the next she is talking of getting rid of it. Whenever my son tells her of his feelings, that is what she uses to make her decision as to wether or not she wants to keep the child. She is constantly threatening him one way or the other with this child and it is wrong, wrong, wrong!! It is an ongoing merry-go-round of madness!!

God please give me some direction. Some guidence.
I need provision. How am I going to care for these children with the small income that is not even enough for us.
I know that you will provide. This is our year. Bring peace to this chaos I pray Lord...Help me...Please!
I know that you want only the best for us and you will bring light to this very dark situation.
 
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Father I lift my sister to you, give her strength right now.
Lord only you can control this situation, bless this young girl, bless her mind make her stable. Bring Peace,love and understanding into their hearts.
I come against confusion in the name of Jesus. Lord let your will be done.
Amen.



This young girl needs a lot of love...I havent heard anything about her Father, is he around.
She could be doing all these things because she is scared.
Yes she is a victim, a victim of her own insecurities.

She needs motherly advice some counselling and a lot of Love.
Making up those stories about losing the baby,( she's not stable).
She's only doing that so she can have some control. The baby's safety is in question if this behavior continues. Emotionally she's all over the place and we have hormones acting up.


This is going to be hard, and in no way you or your son can be her savior.
Really ask God to give you strength each day, you need patience,
you need him to renew your mind and your heart daily.

In this situation only Love can win,
each day you must start new forgetting the drama of Yesterday.
God is in control, continue seeking his face.

Its really charitably of you to invite her to stay in your house, I pray that her attitude changes,


And most of all be warm in your love for one another; because in love there is forgiveness for sins without number:1 Peter 4:8

Psalm 46
1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble


Isaiah 41:10

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness
 
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My dear Sister, it would be a grave mistake to move this young girl into your home in this situation. If she is determined enough to stay in your sons life to allow herself to get pregnant, then she is likely to find a way to stay there, regardless of what she is threatening right now. You are watching your son be manipulated, but please dont allow yourself to be by inviting this sort of mischief into your home. This is an emotional time for you, as well as your son, and he is not old enough to forsee the concequences to rash decisions, but you are. You are right, the child is coming, and there`s nothing you can do about it, so you must trust that child, as well as your family to the Lord.

The passage in Psalm 1 came to me while I was thinking about your situation, dont walk in the counsel of this young girl, only continue to delight yourself in the Lord, He will make a way for you, for the enemies plans are but chaff in His hands.

Blessings
 
May God bless this beautiful baby, you, your son, and the mother of his baby! May God lift some of the anger you carry, so you can see from a different view. Open your eyes wide and see what a beautiful gift your son is being given. God has a plan for each and everyone of us. May God be with you all through this rough and exciting time! Amen!

This baby will have the love of many people it sounds like! I don't think that God would allow her to conceive if she was not ready, this baby just might be a blessing in disguise! I know you say that she manipulated your son, and sounds like in a way she did. But he is old enough to know the consequences from having sex. Just look at it from all angles and welcome this Child of God with open arms!

Psalm 139:13

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
 
I am not angry at the baby. It is not it's fault that this has happened.
Just because something happens does not mean it is God's will.
Bad things happen all the time and it does not mean that it is God's will because he let it happen. God allowed Bathsheba to get pregnant too, but he took the baby, and then gave David Solomon. With all due respect, I see things from a different perspective than you do, it is not your son. I have been a Christian for 20+ years and I know how to seek the face of the Lord in a crisis. The baby is not the problem, the mother is. She insists on using this child as a pawn to hurt, manipulate and torment my son. This is wrong anyway you slice it. She does not want this child, she wants to control my son. Just because God allows things does not mean he agress with them. He allowed my sons to be sodomized and sexually molested, beat and tormented. I know that was not the Lord's will, but it happened non the less.
Bottom line...I know that whatever happens the Lord will guide me and my children through this.
 
I dont think my brother meant that all things bad are from God.

Look at Joseph abandoned by his brothers to be a slave, only to help them in the future from the famine.

Its not saying its a blessing...but its saying God can use Anything for his will.
We only see what our pain allow us to see, and that's why he ask us to trust him completely.

Proverbs 3:5,6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

I can only judge from the side you tell me.
And its obvious that she needs help, there's a lot more going on emotionally that you and me can not see with our natural eyes.

Dont take my brother's words as being insensitive, because he's only being true to his nature with positivity.
Trying to find a positive side.

You have every right to protect your son, just remember what happens today will affect that baby in the future. The confusion today can only bring more confusion tomorrow.

Let love win.
God is in control.

I'm sorry for saying this but that girl needs help, and thats the honest truth, her behavior can be over the top nasty and disgusting, at the end of the day she needs help, and that baby needs a healthy mom. I can not judge her because it takes two, she's not the virgin Mary. These stories take place everyday and the only victim is the child not the mom or dad. That baby never asked to come. The sex was consented.

The girl needs help, and I pray that God will send a Christian to mentor her. Because she needs it.

I pray for peace, and love in the hearts of everyone, that the Love of Christ will shine forth.

May God strengthen you and your family daily......
In times like these our "Christian love" is tested
Thank God for his grace.
 
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Greetings,

let us let the peace of God, that passes all understanding quieten our minds.

To be spiritually minded is life and peace

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.

It is not so much as whether the Lord would have one in such a situation as how we react in each and every situation we face.
The very best thing to do, now, and always, is to give thanks.
In all things give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Why?

We enter into His courts with praise when we give thanks. In His presence, we have Him.... which includes peace and counsel, joy and hope, patience and longsuffering.... and best of all....faith and love!

This girl is loved by the Lord with enough love that He would give His life for her..... even if she had committed all the sins of the world.
All of you, think about this.
I hear accusations ..... I hear judgements......
Who delights in these things?
Certainly not our Lord.

It is naturally understandable that one would be concerned and even worried.
Let us draw nigh unto the Lord in this matter..... and put on a new and spiritual mind.

If the mother leaves town, may she find the Lord in another town and have His perfect peace. If she leaves and the young expectant lass stays, well, what an opportunity to take her in and show her the power of the gospel in Jesus Christ the Lord by loving her as He does. Perhaps you are not physically able to do this, to take her into your home.... Are there others you fellowship with who could join you in glorifying God and extending their homes to this needy lass?

We need to remind ourselves that the giants in the land are very tiny in God's measurements. Whose eyes do we look through as Christians? What is the end of all things?
Every seeming affliction is an opportunity to see the glory of God in Jesus Christ the Lord.

What would Jesus do? Remember that question?

When the troubles are on our doorstep, and encroaching upon our very lives here on earth, it is natural to be moved by them.
I beseech you to put off the old man and enter into the new and living way, where there is life and peace.

As a Christian for so many years, perhaps you have yearned for an opportunity to see miracles, to testify to the power of God in your life. Would another tewenty years pass before an opportunity as huge as this would come?
The lass is young and the modern society does nothing to equip young folk with parenthood. Quite possibly she has had a rough sort of start to life. Unstable is perhaps a blunt way to put it, but that is forgivable and is not too much for the Lord to heal.
We would be in awe if it was someone else who was brought to our congregation and had a healing manifest in her through the preaching and power of God. We would marvel.
We claim the fullness of God in our lives. Is He empty of power ?

Dear friends, please don't jump up and down at each other, and please remember grace that is bestowed upon us. Do we deserve it?
Have we earnt it?
Do we have the grace of God in Jesus Christ manifest in our lives because we are without sin?

Are we better than anyone else?

Knight1, I would encourage you to pour out as much love to this girl as you are given by the Lord. I do not say you are not already doing this. I am saying that when it gets ugly, then is the time to love beyond measure and human reasoning. She will respond. She needs the love you have.

Let us look at her this way.... is she in a good state? Is she 'stable' as it has been commented? Is she able to overcome problems in her life?
If not, then she is sick...or not in good health....I mean by this that she is SUFFERING affliction.
Who is going to minister God's Love to her?

This is her situation.

The baby is also in great need.

And your beloved son is needing to see your faith right now, so no matter what happens in his life, now and in the future, he will know the power and faithfulness of God in Jesus Christ the Lord can be totally depended upon.

Generally speaking, most babies live for up to and over 70 years old. There is a possibility that this child to be born will be around for some time....I certain hope so, anyway, and I also hope the newborn child knows love in his/her life. Now, looking at the long term, we need also to see ahead a bit. The beginning may be rough and shaky, but in looking at the years down the track, let us start believing now for a beautiful change, and seek the Lord how we can be instruments in that change.

Both mother, father and child need so much love, and have a long way to go. The foundation we lay now could make all the difference in the road they travel in years ahead.

Prayerfully and carefully, with love and compassion.

Our reactions to things are our testimony to the Lord in our life to the unbelieving. Even when we think we are failing, if we are desiring good, we will shine the light of life to others, and they will be drawn unto God in Jesus Christ the Lord.

You do welll to seek the Lord. You know He loves you and I encourage you to remember this when you are faced with such trying moments as you describe here. He will not fail you. It must be very difficult for you, my friend. Stay close to the Lord. You know He loves you.

You have a seemingly very tough and difficult situation, and you all need massive doses of prayer and support, and the loving healing of God in Christ.

May this be yours and your family's and may you get the thrill of a new born child coming into your life in such power as to be victorious and be filled with rejoicing and song, in Jesus name.

Bless you,

Br. Bear
 
I am sorry to hear about your situation, it is sad. I wish I could snap my fingers and all this would go away, but it won't and I can't. And if I feel like that, how much more does our Father in heaven? I know he could snap His fingers though, but there is obviously very good reason why He won't. Trust in Him, things will come right.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

I agree that this girl needs lots of prayer too. She is misguided, confused, unloved, and probably hormonal due to the pregnancy (I know, I am pregnant at the moment and my moods are up and down). Her mother needs prayer and guidance too. The best thing would be to pray for them.

Matthew 5:44 "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
and remember...

Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Please keep us updated. God Bless you all.
 
:pray: Dear Knight, this is so sad for all of you, number 1, God is not the author of confussion and it sounds like there is alot of confusion. My dear, if the girl moves in your home, what kind of arrangements would you require, since they have already had sex, it would be most difficult to keep them apart, it depends on how far you are willing to go, could or would you tolerate that? I know both of the children [and that is what they are ] need alot of help and love. I would help them in a different manner, get her into a un-wed Mothers Home ,she would be taught parenting skills, home-bound schooling, as your son would be also. No, do not turn them away, but don't subject your son to anymore temptation than he has already had. God gave us children to love and protect and teach them the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. You could visit her there, invite her to your home for diner, Christmas, Thanksgiving and show her you love her, she may not except it, but she would be exposed to praying at meal time, family devotions. I am speaking only for myself and have no ill will, but under no circumstances would I subject my son to her living in the same house that he does, it would be so hard for your son, physically, mentally, spiritual. This is just food for thought but think about it, and I am sure our Lord Jesus Christ will help you make the right decision, I will be praying, keep us informed, With all my love and prayers, Rebeck
 
Dear Knight1
When in doubt there is only one thing we really can do:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

In addition to that, keep on praying. I am sure that God will answer our prayers.
 
Grace and Peace

I pray that our words minister to you.
Rebeck and Br. Bear 's have given you some great stuff to think about.

God bless
 
I think too that Rizen 1 had powerful words to share with you.

If any good comes form anything here that we write, may all glory go to God in Jesus Christ the Lord.
Seek Him and trust Him,

and bless you,

Br. Bear
 
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