God's love?

[lc_sar]

Hi
I briefly mentioned this on the new users forum but this is probably a better place for it. I've been a Christian for a long time... since I was 4, and I am now 23. But lately I have just had a really hard time understanding God's love for me. I have been taught it my whole life, and I have all the head knowledge I could want, lol. I understand God's love for his children... I just don't know how to translate that love into a specific love for me? I don't even know where to look for it, how it would be manifested... I know I am forgiven... I know even that I am cared for... but a nurse can care for her patient without loving him. I don't open up easily, but I did mention this to my best friend. She thinks it has something to do with me not knowing my dad when I was growing up... but I don't think so. I met him when I was 15 and forgave him, and we now have a good relationship. I don't know if stems from outside factors at all? Or if it's just me? I've never been in a romantic relationship... partly because I'm not willing to settle for anything less than a Godly guy (which are surprisingly rare) and partly because not a lot of guys are interested in me. I don't know if it's just a defense mechanism after seeing all the hurt that I saw while I was in Africa? Hearing the refugee camps get attacked, seeing the child soldiers, the innocent victims coming in to the hospital with gunshot wounds, the many, many homeless and hungry etc. But I don't think that would be it, because I saw many example of God's grace to the people there and firmly believe he loves them very, very much and is horrified and grieving over their circumstances...
Maybe I am just burnt out. I don't know. Maybe hormonal, lol. Or stressed. I have a huge biochemistry test tomorrow that I'm not prepared for (please pray for that!). Anyway... I guess I just need some encouragement
Thanks for what you have goin' on here
~Sarah~

 

[Jesuslovesu]

Sister Sarah

Dont worry He has your back.. Talk honestly to Him about how you feel that is the best way... Walls are very easy to put up ... but God can knock them down!! Amen? !!! You have alot on your plate let God help ya with it ! Just dont buy the message Satan is trying to send ya... Joyfully ~ Jlu

 

[shepherdsgrace]

In our dealings with God everything is done by faith. Nothing just happens. Simply begin to thank God for loving you and look around and see the evidence of his love and thank him for the evidence of it. Tell him that you do not ever have to "feel" his love, that you know he loves you. Remember the cross in prayer before him. Read about his love and be grateful. And I guarantee that you will eventually begin to also experience the feelings and emotions that you are desiring.

 

[lc_sar]

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all the encouragement. I'm feeling a lot more chill now - I think partly because the stress of my test is over. I'm also taking your advice to heart and trying to look for examples of God's love for me. Last night I went to visit my friend whom I went to Africa with last year. She gave me a letter that had been passed on to her to give to me; it was from the lady that I worked with at the AIDS clinic. In the spring I had sent photos and letters, and some small gifts for a 6 year old girl named Ruth who I had become very close to. In the letter I got last night, I read this: "The sad news - Ruth went to be with her Lord!! We all miss her alot. All her nice presents from you found her gone!!" When I first read those words I was so shocked it took my breath away. However, on the way home, I praised God that she's now home, no longer in any pain, enjoying the presence of her saviour forever. I'm still saddened deeply by her loss, but I have peace above all.
This afternoon my car died. I ran into a store for 2 mins, and when I came out, it just wouldn't start. My best friend came and jumped it for me, but then the brake indicator lights were on. So... not sure what's going on?!? It's in the shop and they'll look at it tomorrow. I'm praying that it won't be anything major - I'm fighting to pay the bills as it is, and I had to miss work today when it broke down - yet again, I feel a peace about it. Isn't it strange that I can trust a God whose love I can't understand?
During my bible study today I was listening to Shawn McDonald and his song "Beautiful" came on, which is probably one of my all time favourites - it's incredibly musically beautiful as well as having lyrics that are exactly me, lol. I thought they might encourage others (although I'd highly recommend buying the CD and listening to the song rather than just reading the words!)

As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I
As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Sarah: In order to get a feeling for the depth and breadth and height of od's love for you, read a detailed description of the torture Jesus went through as He hung on the cross.

Try this URL: gomailus.go.com/scripts/mailus/Request.dll?MESSAGE&FOLDER-INBOXCID-2631...03/26/2002.

A Physician Testifies about the Crucifixion.

 

[lc_sar]

I tried to access that site but it made me register... and when I was doing that, I was supposed to click on the shape in the white box in order to proceed... but there WAS no shape in the white box! Then the session would expire and I'd have to start all over again! Is there anyway you could post it or email it or something? thanks
~Sarah~