Got Friends?

[rizen1]

February 14, 2008
Got Friends?

Mary Southerland


Today's Truth

"And so I am giving a new commandment to you now -- love each other just as much as I love you. Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples." John 13:34-35



Friend to Friend

We all need friends. In fact, we were created to need each other. In his book, "The Broken Heart", Dr. James J. Lynch shows that lonely people live significantly shorter lives than the general population. Yes, there are different levels of friendships, friends we see occasionally and friends with whom we share everything. There are even different seasons of friendships. But at the core of every healthy friendship is a giving heart.



I often hear the words, "I just don't have any friends!" In many cases, I suspect the reason is that people are looking for what they can get out of a relationship instead of what they can give to that relationship.



Have you ever considered the idea that friendships are primarily opportunities for giving? Jesus Christ powerfully illustrated this truth when He came to earth, lived as man, died on the cross and rose from the dead -- all because of love, all because He wanted to give to those He loved. And God is calling us to share that same love with others.



Chad was a shy, quiet little boy. One day he came home and told his mother he'd like to make a valentine for everyone in his class. Her heart sank. "I wish he wouldn't do that!" she thought. She had watched the children when they walked home from school. Her Chad was always behind them. They laughed and hung on to each other and talked to each other. But Chad was never included. Nevertheless, she decided she would go along with her son. She purchased the paper, glue and crayons and for three whole weeks, night after night, Chad painstakingly made thirty-five valentines.



Valentine's Day dawned, and Chad was frantic with excitement! He carefully placed the valentines in a bag, and bolted out the door. His mom decided to bake his favorite cookies because she knew he would be disappointed when he came home from school. It hurt her to think that he wouldn't get many valentines -- maybe none at all. That afternoon she had the cookies and milk on the table.



Finally, when she heard their voices, she looked out the window to see the children laughing and having the best time. As usual, there was Chad in the rear but walking a little faster than usual. She fully expected him to burst into tears as soon as he got inside. His arms were empty, she noticed, and when the door opened, she choked back the tears. "Honey, I have some warm cookies and milk for you" but he hardly heard her words. He just marched right on by, his face glowing, and all he could say was: "Not a one -- not a one." The mother's heart sank. Then he added, "I didn't forget a one, not a single one!"



And so it is when God and His love are at the center of our friendships. Does the world know we are His disciples by the way we love each other -- by our friendships?



Let's Pray

Father, thank You for the miracle of Your great love that is powerfully at work in me. Help me to respond to that love by loving others. Help me to be a better friend. Transform my heart and then use me to give Your love away in friendship. I want to obey You in every area of life. I pray that my friendships reflect Your love, encourage others and please You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.


Now It's Your Turn

Make a list of your five best friends.
Choose one action that you can put into practice for each friend.
Keep a journal and record the changes and blessings that these choices bring.
Ask God to bring new friendships into your life. Loneliness is one of the greatest battles we face and one of Satan's favorite areas of attack. Don't let anyone rob you of the joy of having friends who love you and are willing to stand with you -- no matter what. They are out there! Don't give up until you find them!

 

[None]

this is so true about what you say about giving from the heart to get out of a relationship. i myself don't have any friend and live a lonely life. sometimes i feel so irrelevant like an outcast. i can be a nice person tho but its just that in my experiences people have a way of being mean to me and hating me no matter how nice i am to them. so it seems that being nice to people makes me feel good but at the same time i guess i expect more out of someone like some type of loyaltly or reciprocity on some level, and i don't mean materially cuz i don't even like people to do things for me unless i really really need it i just mean on a emotional level i guess. i just don't like people to judge me in any way cuz i can be very sensitive and it hurts my feelings and i feel stupid for even being nice to them. but i don't really like people in general as a whole and im sure that plays a part in it cuz im real skeptical about their intentions. but in all honesty if you really love people and can surround yourself around positive people then being giving and sharing can really help.

 

[TimK]

I really feel for you None. I am in very much the same situation, but I thank God he has at least blessed me with a family. I can't make a list of 5 friends to be a better freind to. My list stops after my wife and kids. I have had a couple of freinds off and on, but some people have been very cruel to me and the others just ignored me growing up. Even the freinds I did have usually ended up being my enemies and their cruelty hurt more than the rest combined. Which has made me very pessamistic and distrusting about people; even to the point of outright hate of people who I didn't even know simply because they reminded me of all the people who were cruel to me.

All of that pain and distrust of people has began to self perpetuate in my life. If I do begin to make a freind I soon look for any sign of things I have experienced in the past. If they do so much as sit by someone else during class I immediatly think the worst of it. I don't know if I should be going over and talking to them every time I see them or if I should be a little more casual trying to become their freind. I feel totally socially disfunctional and I fear it is slowly getting worse

But aside from the negative your post Rizen1 does strike a lot of truth to my situation. I don't take the initiative to befriend people and I guess I look at a freindship as what I can get out of it. Although it may be very hard for me I will look for an opportunity to do something nice for a possible freind. I will look at the situation from the standpoint of what I can do to be a good freind.

I have also prayed for you and your situation None. I really know how it feels. God bless.:smiling: