He can't forgive her

[Property Of God]

I don't want to go into details and bore you,
But my Boyfriend's ex is chasing him, wanting to get back with him, so he started trashtalking her on phonecalls and text messages, cause he was very hurt by her and he's just too angry.

He is destroying her, what if she never heals from the scars he is creating? She is only 18 years old!
He told me to call her and curse her, but I don't want to be this evil, I need him to forgive her, I've talked alot about it to him but he refuses and accuses me of not being able to understand, and that he must take revenge.

Wouldn't this hurt my relationship with him? He is a loving Christian guy but too blinded by pain, what am I supposed to do?

 

[Gig4]

Wouldn't this hurt my relationship with him? He is a loving Christian guy but too blinded by pain, what am I supposed to do?

Hey...if your boyfriend is a Christian as you say he is, he really needs to understand that he is misrepresenting God to this girl...I wanted to share a couple of scriptures with you that hopefully will help in your conversations with him...I also (as a side note) don't see any wrong in praying for someone's conviction...with that said:

Colossians 3:3
[once you have given your life to Christ-gig4]..."For you have died to the this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God
Colossians 3:8
"but now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behaviorslander and dirty language"(NLT)
Colossians 3:13
MAke allowances for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (NLT)

Also Jesus said in order for the Father to forgive us, we must forgive others (Mark 11:25)

Ephesians 4:26-29
"And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

If he calls Himself a Christian, there are things that he must understand and do, otherwise he is giving the Jesus he claims a bad name...really, he needs to ask himself if he truly has a relationship...

Romans 12:19 says
"Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“I will take revenge;I will pay them back,” says the Lord."

Hebrews 10:30 says:
"For we know the one who said,“I will take revenge.I will pay them back.” He also said,“The Lord will judge his own people"

And VERY importantly,
1 Peter 2:23 says:
"He did not retaliate when he was insulted,nor threaten revenge when he suffered.He left his case in the hands of God,who always judges fairly."

Hope this all helps out...I will pray about this for you also...and for him...God bless you...thanks for sharing! <><

 

[Chad]

Good post Gig4. I completely agree.

Mark 11:25 says it all. Preach it to your boyfriend and let him, no excuses. Jesus never said you must forgive "unless". No, H said you must.

Asking you to curse her out is certainly ungodly and no Holy Spirit driven. I suggest telling him to examine himself because he indeed is not glorifying Jesus nor helping this girl at all. He's doing the complete opposite of what he should be doing.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Dear sister Nermeen

I am in agreement with Gig4 and Chads posts.

Your boyfriend needs much prayer. The devil is attacking his heart and stirring up all this bitterness and anger...and seeking to destroy his Christian testimony.

Wouldn't this hurt my relationship with him? He is a loving Christian guy but too blinded by pain, what am I supposed to do?

Keep up your stand for the Lord Jesus. It may damage your relationship but the Lord will be with you and He will guide and comfort you with an abundance of spiritual blessing. This is an opportunity for you to shine for Jesus and that love will shine out to your boyfriend and touch his heart.

Dear Lord, break through the barriers in the heart of Nermeen's boyfriend. Untangle and drive out all the bitterness and strife that is raging in his heart. Instead burden his heart powerfully with Your precious love and may his anger be replaced by peace and forgiveness. Bless and guide sister Nermeen as she seeks to minister to him. Lord You are victorious and hear all our prayers. Thank You Jesus

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice, and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you Ephesians 4:31-32

Be ye followers of God as dear children, and walk in love as Christ also hath loved us. Ephesians 5:1

May the Lord bless you

Julia

 

[Property Of God]

He is begining to calm down, I asked him to pray to learn to forgive as he really isn't able to, and I talked to his ex and apologised to her and that made him get mad at me but I know it was worth it, and he wasn't mad at me at the end.

These scars could ruin her future life cause I had a BF who used to behave this way with me and it took forever for me to get over his verbal and mental abuse, and I know exactly how she is feeling, I pray that both of their hearts would heal with God's love.

Thanks for everyone who replied, I needed a push cause I was begining to surrender and let my BF deal with it in his own way.

 

[Gig4]

nermeen,
You have truly shown an example of Christ to not only your boyfriend, but also to the ex girlfriend...your kindness will go so much further for the cause than your BF's unforgiveness display...God bless and stay the course...Hang in there!

Gig4 <><

 

[Property Of God]

He threatenes to hurt me.

So I kind of got fed up from his ways, and sensed that God REALLY doesn't want me to be with him, I don't really want to judge him, but he is very ungodly.

I told him that he was a great guy but I want to break up with him because I can't feel for him and we argue alot, he threatened to hurt me because I broke up with him ! he said I'll call your parents and make up lies about you and he kept cursing me, you'll regret what you did! he e-mails me and texts me everyday threatening he'll hurt me, he knows where I live and where I go to college.

he is crazy... right? I keep praying but whenever he sends me, I get too bothered and scared.