LornaDoone
Member
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2007
- Messages
- 31
I was supposed to have been born on the day man landed on the moon - unfortunately I was weeks late and then five days being delivered, so I got born on the anniversary of WWII being declared in Europe instead.
My parents were not happily married, and both remain aetheist/agnostic to this day, but my maternal Grandparents and my Great Grandmother (who passed shortly after my 21st birthday) both were Christian, and it is thanks to my Great Grandmother that I was christened as a baby. (I am the eldest of three children and the only one to be christened, and the only one to become a christian).
Although I think I was unhappy as a child, because my parents rowed every day and both were persistantly unfaithful, there was much about my childhood I have learned to be appreciative of since: listening to my grandmothers singing hymns as they cooked lunch in the kitchen on the days we were all together, the prayers they said for me all through my childhood, my parents trying to stay together for the sake of the children.
I realise now how much that helped me cope with the first real trauma of childhood - being abused by a couple and a friend of theirs who lived round the corner from us.
I was 18 before I was able to tell anyone about it, but I did and I told myself that the counselling I had at the time had 'cured me', though at best I was simply able to handle it: I was still haunted by it, and I began a series of destructive and abusive relationships. In some I was physically abused - in some I was mentally and verbally abused.
As a result of some this abuse - and because of increasingly difficult gynaecological problems - I was told I could never safely carry a child after my daughter was still born at 6 months.
I married my (now ex) husband when we discovered I was pregnant: my parents had split up, my mother had remarried a very much younger man, and a man had made me pregnant with a child I prayed feverently I would be allowed to carry to term, so I married him. I did care about him, even love him, but all the warning signs were there. My eldest son was born 2 months premature, and is now a happy healthy nearly 15 year old. Two and half years later I gave birth to my youngest son, who is also happy and healthy.
But my own health deteriorated, and my husband was increasingly unfaithful and emotionally abusive. I was in constant physical pain, mis-diagnosed and mis-treated by the doctors and (as it turned out) in danger of losing my life to a condition that the doctors said I did not have. But I knew I did: somehow I knew.
God was stepping into my life. In a really big way - specialists who said that I did not have what I said I had suddenly changed their minds; the help I needed suddenly turned up; the strength to keep working through the pain (which was dreadful) without the need for painkillers astounded everyone.
And then God put an Anglican cleric in my life, and many key conversations took place through this time.
I had a total hysterectomy at 31 - and found out afterwards that I would have been dead within hours if I had not had it. I was healed! I knew that this was down to God, but in order to pursue my faith I had to overcome an obstacle: my husband, who refused to allow any talk of God, or Jesus in the house and who became more and more abusive as I continued to pursue my faith.
The day I had gone to have my operation, my husband began another affair, and as I lay in the hospital bed recovering I 'knew' that he had. God would not allow me to find out the way my husband was planning for me to find out.
To cut a long story short, my children and I moved away and though the divorce was nasty, we are free of it. 4 years ago I accepted Christ as my saviour, and though I have since dealt with depression and rocky finances, the Lord is there, healing me and my children, showing us the lives He has planned for us, blessing us in many ways and best of all in ways that bless many others too.
Glory be to God! And Praise Him in the name of His Son, Our Saviour Jesus Christ, Who Died for the sake of Our Sins.
Blessings
My parents were not happily married, and both remain aetheist/agnostic to this day, but my maternal Grandparents and my Great Grandmother (who passed shortly after my 21st birthday) both were Christian, and it is thanks to my Great Grandmother that I was christened as a baby. (I am the eldest of three children and the only one to be christened, and the only one to become a christian).
Although I think I was unhappy as a child, because my parents rowed every day and both were persistantly unfaithful, there was much about my childhood I have learned to be appreciative of since: listening to my grandmothers singing hymns as they cooked lunch in the kitchen on the days we were all together, the prayers they said for me all through my childhood, my parents trying to stay together for the sake of the children.
I realise now how much that helped me cope with the first real trauma of childhood - being abused by a couple and a friend of theirs who lived round the corner from us.
I was 18 before I was able to tell anyone about it, but I did and I told myself that the counselling I had at the time had 'cured me', though at best I was simply able to handle it: I was still haunted by it, and I began a series of destructive and abusive relationships. In some I was physically abused - in some I was mentally and verbally abused.
As a result of some this abuse - and because of increasingly difficult gynaecological problems - I was told I could never safely carry a child after my daughter was still born at 6 months.
I married my (now ex) husband when we discovered I was pregnant: my parents had split up, my mother had remarried a very much younger man, and a man had made me pregnant with a child I prayed feverently I would be allowed to carry to term, so I married him. I did care about him, even love him, but all the warning signs were there. My eldest son was born 2 months premature, and is now a happy healthy nearly 15 year old. Two and half years later I gave birth to my youngest son, who is also happy and healthy.
But my own health deteriorated, and my husband was increasingly unfaithful and emotionally abusive. I was in constant physical pain, mis-diagnosed and mis-treated by the doctors and (as it turned out) in danger of losing my life to a condition that the doctors said I did not have. But I knew I did: somehow I knew.
God was stepping into my life. In a really big way - specialists who said that I did not have what I said I had suddenly changed their minds; the help I needed suddenly turned up; the strength to keep working through the pain (which was dreadful) without the need for painkillers astounded everyone.
And then God put an Anglican cleric in my life, and many key conversations took place through this time.
I had a total hysterectomy at 31 - and found out afterwards that I would have been dead within hours if I had not had it. I was healed! I knew that this was down to God, but in order to pursue my faith I had to overcome an obstacle: my husband, who refused to allow any talk of God, or Jesus in the house and who became more and more abusive as I continued to pursue my faith.
The day I had gone to have my operation, my husband began another affair, and as I lay in the hospital bed recovering I 'knew' that he had. God would not allow me to find out the way my husband was planning for me to find out.
To cut a long story short, my children and I moved away and though the divorce was nasty, we are free of it. 4 years ago I accepted Christ as my saviour, and though I have since dealt with depression and rocky finances, the Lord is there, healing me and my children, showing us the lives He has planned for us, blessing us in many ways and best of all in ways that bless many others too.
Glory be to God! And Praise Him in the name of His Son, Our Saviour Jesus Christ, Who Died for the sake of Our Sins.
Blessings
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