To respond to a few of your questions:
I was baptized as an infant, so I did not make the choice of my own free will to be baptized. At the age of 23, when my wife and I got married, I started going to church of my own free will. I started to believe in Jesus, and prayed, and tried to offer my hearts to him. However, I have not been baptized as an adult. That is why, I say I have not been born again. After 22 years of a life of Christian service, I was about to get baptized. But then I started having so many suicidal thoughts, and getting so angry at God, that I didn’t get baptized. I felt it would be wrong of me to get baptized while still having such anger and sadness in my heart. That may not make any sense, but that’s how I feel.
About sharing my thoughts with my pastor :
I was a member of my church for 15 years. However, my wife and I left our church, because we felt as if it was a very shallow and superficial church. The teaching lacked any depth, and I would describe it more as a seeker church. Not to mention, they were problems within the church— there was a feud between the worship director, and the assistant pastor. Just many things which overall prompted my wife and I are to leave the church. We still know the head pastor however. But, I do not feel I can share all of my grievances about my marriage with my former pastor. My wife occasionally plays special music there, and sometimes teaches classes there on occasion. I do not feel that I can bring up any complaints about her character with him.
Believe it or not, there are a lot of people in Church's today that are not saved, but they think they are. Salvation is by grace through faith. Most people think if they could just get enough faith to believe they would be OK. The truth is "faith" only comes by hearing the Word of God. All we have to is
"choose" to want to believe, and God will give that person faith to believe. I am not saying you are not saved, I am just making sure you know what is involved.
Here is a brief description of what it entails.
Most people, especially those in the United States have heard the message, which is found in the Gospel of John.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. (KJV)
This, in a nutshell, is the Gospel message. When a person hears this message something happens to that person. The thing that happens is that faith is given to the hearer. As Bible tells us, “Faith comes, by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” Faith always comes when the Word of God is preached, taught, or proclaimed. The Gospel of John also says this.....
John 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God,
even to them that believe on his name:
But as many as received him who? The Word of God (AKA as Jesus Christ) Those to who received the Word of God after hearing it was given “POWER” so that they could become a son of God. Having the power to become a son of God is one thing, and it is another to actually be a son of God. Many people today have heard the Gospel message, and have received it, but they never “exercised” that power to become a son of God. The “power” which the Word of God gives unto the hearer is “faith”
There are millions of people who have heard the message, and have received the faith (power) to become a son of God, but have never exercised that power to become one. Maybe, they just don't know how faith is exercised. The Bible is clear about how salvation comes.
Rom 10:9 because,
if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Rom 10:10
For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. (ESV)
It sounds to good to be true, which is why it is true because it is good.!!
You probably have already heard this before.
I can tell you how the Lord will, and can change your marriage. The way the Lord God changes a marriage is not by changing the person you are married to, but by changing you!
Once you have been changed by the power of God, you will never see your wife how you viewed her before. This works both ways for either the wife or the husband.
The enemy of your family wants it to be torn apart. As the head of your household given to you by God, do not let that happen!
