Hello

[Julie1983]

I am deeply troubled as my marriage is fallen apart. My husband constantly belittles me and calls me names. He stresses me out to the point I get very physically sick. The kids love him and God says there is no reason to leave your marriage unless the wife cheats or something. I am struggling fiercely and am trying to do the right thing. I am worried this stress will kill me. Everything is always my fault and I am told I am slow whenever I do anything. I feel like screaming. I don't know what to do other then keep praying and hanging onto Jesus.

 

[Robin MacAoidh]

Julie, Praying and hanging onto Jesus is good. Keep it up girl. The hubby is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. You said you are both Christians, maybe the church you attend can help with counsel.

He may be angry about something he does not understand. His expectation of marriage may have been unrealistic. Belittling you is not loving you. I am not saying he does not love you, but that type of treatment is not right. He needs good counseling to come to grasp his problem that he is transferring onto you.

Men can have a sinful inclination that they are to control the wife, but that is not leadership. Love submits to love and truth. Look at 1 Cor 13 for an awesome perspective, that love seeks not its own, but the well-being of others. In this case that should be you. Loving you is his 1st priority behind loving God.

I will pray for your best result in the Lord...
Robin

 

[Peace Seeker]

I have witnessed that kind of abusive behavior from my dad to my mom my whole life.
And the reason your husband does the things he does is he is insecure and has self-esteem issues. Also, sometimes when they belittle it is because they feel threatened by you (as strange as that sounds). For example, if your faith is stronger than his, or you have more friends than him, or the kids "like" you more than him, whatever the case may be, your presence reminds him of his insecurities and inadequacies, so he lashes out. It is the sin of envy and jealousy, among other things.

Anyway, I think only God can change hearts and marriages in trouble, and I have witnessed that kind of healing, but we have a part to play too. As hard as it is for us to do (and believe me, I know it is hard), we must always try our best to repay evil with love, this is what Jesus expects of us and He will bless us when we are faithful to Him in this.

So I am praying for you Julie, that the Lord gives you of His abundant grace, peace and protection, that He holds and comforts you and sees you through your difficult circumstances when they arise. Also that he will soften your husband's heart and break his pride and arrogance leading to repentance. God bless!