Help I dont know what to do

[LoFtY]

I recently have had problems with 2 of my friends. They were some of my closest friends.

This is how it happened.
I talked to mark about the other friend just cause i needed to clear stuff in my head (i wasnt gossiping). Then the next day i found out that mark had told everything to the other person. The other person attacked me with sms s and came up with all this crap about me and it went on for a few days

I dont know what to do i still want friends but i cant trust them and i really find it hard to talk to them. I feel like they have stabbed me in the back.

It really hurts me and cause i dont have many people in life that are close

can someone help me please.

 

[CliffS]

LoFtY,

I talked to mark about the other friend just cause i needed to clear stuff in my head (i wasnt gossiping).

Apologise to the other freind. On purpose or not, alone or not, you hurt a freind. Gossip whether intentional or not is still gossip. If you had concerns about a freind the right to do thing would have been to take that concern to that freind in private. Now you have broken a trust and a bond and distroyed your integrity and and probibly freindships in the process.

The other person attacked me with sms s and came up with all this crap about me and it went on for a few days

What did you expect??? Gratitude????? This freind was blinded sided by you and mark and reacted just like most would do under such circumstances. The most common responce to something like that is to retaliate. To hurt the one they beleive hurt them.
You want to keep freinds? Here some rules that will help tremendously.
Talk to people ,not about them.
Never say anything judgmental about a freind that you havn't already said to that freind.
Choose your freinds wisely.Test them in the smaller things before trusting them in the larger things.
There are instances when one needs to seek advice about a freind. Talk to some one distanced from this freind and don't use names. Talk about the situation, not the freind.

I feel like they have stabbed me in the back.

I got to be honest with you. From what you posted it looks like you were the first to pull out the knife. Did you even stop long enough to concider that this could or would happen?????
Don't go round talking to freinds about mutual freinds. When you do that you put this third party in a situation very few can handle properly. In doing that you wronged mark and made yourself look bad at the same time.
Finally , Learn from your mistakes:embarasse

 

[LoFtY]

Thanks heaps for that i guess when i say it how it is and when you explained it to me i can see what i have done. i ll try and learn form my mistakes and ill do the best i can to try and fix things up.
Your a champion

God Bless

 

[Coconut]

Excellent response Cliff

"Finally , Learn from your mistakes" :embarasse

Yea lol...and if you are like me...that will only take you a few decades or more

When we humble ourselves and do what is right, God works out the details LoFtY, praise God!

 

[TDS52]

It would be good to get together with them, both, at the same time. Do a private apology, as well, as an apology when you are together. Talk it all out, then pray together...asking the Lord to rebuild the friendship. May His will be done.

 

[shepherdsgrace]

Lofty I am happily impressed at your response. It shows true moral character when you can receive instruction like you did. Hope you do well in repairing the relationship. But most of all God bless you in using your self control in the future.

 

[Word of Life]

Yes, we can all fall into this trap from time to time during our life-time. I have learnt the hard way and lost some good friends in the process.

The world teaches us to gossip, but when God comes into your life, gossip is out, its harmful and destroying and I see that now. How I deal with it, when I am inticed into gossip, I now respond like this. "Its not for me to judge, so I'm unable to comment" But we can talk about, what I learnt in the Bible last night.

God bless.

 

[evangj]

Hello,
What type of help do you want?
God bless you and hope to hear from you soon.

John

 

[stephen]

Good advice within these replies for you LoFty.

God Bless You as you life for Jesus

 

[cejetski]

Here is the biblical way to handle disagreements. This is found in Matthew chapter 18. I have seen this work.
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.